So I woke up around 6:45 this morning and overheard some family members watching the news. The current story was about a politician wanting to become president. However, the newscast was talking about how this politician had to have priorities straight in order to have a chance, such as caring for her daughter and grandson.
Then one of my family members commented: "yeah you should spend more time with your 17 year old daughter. Maybe then she wouldn't have to go looking for love somewhere else."
Well that comment made me think. When I was 17, I was looking for love in a significant other, too. What's wrong with that? I love my family and all they've done for me, but I can't say I'm in love with any of them. And with hormones raging through my body at that time, I wanted to find someone that I could love.
Now for those of you who don't know, I was in a relationship when I was 17. It was with a guy that I had know since I was in kindergarden; our families had been friends since. We started dating when I was 16 and broke up when I was 18. During the vast majority of the relationship, I not only thought I was in love, but also that he was The One.
Now I suppose the difference in my relationship and the polician's daughter's relationship is that I wasn't having sex, therefore couldn't get caught with a teen pregnancy. But even if we were and I had become that unlucky, it wouldn't have my mother's fault. I mean, sure, my mother taught me to abstain from sex until marraige, something that I still plan to do. But last I checked, girls don't have sex just becase they're told not to. That might be a reason to experiment, or go with a boy that the mother doesn't approve of. But the actual deed of sex is because both the girl and guy are listening to aspects of their bodies that tell them to.
Sex is natural and necessary for life. The fact that our bodies want it as teenagers but society doesn't want us to have it until adulthood is a flawed system. I remember girls in high school talking about their first time being when they were 13. I remember watching Maury and seeing girls that aren't even technically teenagers and are sleeping with umpteen guys. Thay're not doing it because their mothers said no, or because their mothers don't love them enough. They do it because they see no reason not to.
Which brings us to the flaws in our education system. We're taught that abstinance is the only 100% effective birth control and that having sex, no matter how protected, can lead to pregnancy, STDs, and STIs. While those facts are all true, it's too one-sided, and not aimed to the right audience. I was told that primarily when I was a sophomore in high school. That side of information needs to be drilled into children's heads in elementary school. By high school, they should be telling students how to have safe sex and what options they can have in case something goes wrong.
Teens are going to have sex. Because they want to. How about instead of blaming yourself and resenting your kids, why don't you assure them that everything will be ok, let them know where you stand, and just be there for them when they need it.
