Monday, February 28, 2011

This really is kind of the opposite of bluntness

But it's fun. Metaphors are always fun! Deal with it =P

The Honest One


I fall at thy’s feet,
Defeated of a battle
Between myself; not knowing
Where to stand at such a dispute.
My head is bowed with
Ushered tears,
Falling because of captivity,
Releasing emotions unknown to thee.
My hair has lost its purity
For it lays lank…straight…silent.
I wish not to look up,
As if keeping my figure down
Will bore the owner of my truth.
But yet again I fail
For he stays silent as stars,
Stands great as gods,
And yet I cannot defeat his power.
Its spell has kept me in place--
I can feel the power on my shoulders;
The weight will never lift again,
For it will never have to

I find my truth; and I absorb it
So that I can face this mystery head on.
I can lift my head to see his face,
And I can stand
From my bowed position.
Crystal eyes meet brown eyes.
Warrior of truth
Meets warrior of impulse.
Who has truly won the battle?
I find that the battle
Is not a winning game,
So as I look
Into those brown eyes so deep,
I look into my heart...mind...soul,
And I find that
The impulse let out the truth.
The battle might be discontinued,
But OUR score has been settled.
For I, the warrior of truth,
Have become the honest one.

I’m in love
With the one who is
Silent as stars and
Stands great as gods.
The one who took my power
With his giant brown eyes:
The warrior of impulse.
His greatness is blinding,
Yet he charmed me so.
He kept me guessing
In surprises most of the time,
And with just one look
I see the truth in the impulse,
And it made me crash
For such had never occurred.
So it was there
Where my battle begun,
But it is here
Where my war ends,
And my story
Gets a new chapter.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Moral Contract

Look up at the sky
And wipe away the tears
No hurt was meant to come
No hurt is meant to stay
My words to you stay constant
No waver of voice
No waver of promise
I stay true to the promise I made
The deal has not been broken
The deal will not be stretched
Look into my eyes
See my hope
See my love
Know that the truth never lies
I am here for you always
I am in love with you forever

Linguistics

So I was looking through my posts, mostly because I knew that it wouldn't take too long as I do believe I only have seven to this date! I warned you...

Anyway, one of my posts was about grammar. It is so weird to think how important that was to me just six months ago! This second semester of college I am taking two linguistics classes and it's basically taken my previous philosophy, stripped it naked and laughed manically at it. Nothing personal or anything...

I struggle with "grammarian" vs "linguistic" and how grammar isn't necessarily incorrect because of dialect differences. It's hard for me to see this in a personal standpoint because in school I had Strunk and White's "Elements of Style" shoved down my throat to the point where all I believe is right or wrong. It's even harder for me to grasp this concept as a future educator because as an ESL/ENL teacher I'll want to tell my students what is right and what is wrong. Yet here I am in two different English classes where I'm told not to correct people's grammar. This is a confusing business...

It's crazy, because I made it my goal this semester/year not to correct anyone's grammar because it's not my place to correct. I've slipped up a couple of times but for the most part I have stopped. Because of this, I've been able to see how petty I've been correcting people's grammar. It goes back to my elitist control need I'm sure. In my head, if you want to be taken seriously you need to talk seriously. Last I checked you can't talk seriously by saying "jay kay, el oh el Imunuh go now tee tee why el". But by the same token, very few people respect someone who constantly corrects them.

My new view is that I can correct anyone as much as I want...in my head. I've also been introduced recently to an extremist grammar nazi...and I thought I was bad. This guy refuses to talk to you unless you use correct grammar...did I mention he's only 19? He complains because he sees so many professional documents with incorrect grammar and literally FLIPS OUT. Definitely a dose of my own medicine...and even more reason to quit while I'm ahead so I don't lose anything of value.

If I can understand what someone means, then I have no reason to correct them. I'm going to leave all judgments in my head and go about my day with a smile on my face. This is one of the first steps I'm taking in hopes to not be such a control freak. Here's hoping!

Personally, I do my best to make sure that my spoken and written language are parallel because I don't want to slip up and have a 'lol' or 'gonna' or anything that's common in today's IMing world go into my professional written papers. I don't feel like I stand out because of it, because most all of us somewhere has been taught this form of writing, so it's not as though it stands out or anything. If more people did this than yes language would still evolve...but I feel like the grammarians of the world would not be having as big of a conniption as they are now.

...yup.

31 Day Challenge

So on Facebook there's this new craze going around called the "31 Day Challenge". Now, because most of these started about a month ago...I have absolutely no desire to start this now. However, if I were to post them all on my blog, well that wouldn't be too bad now would it? Now I know what you're thinking...I can barely make a post every other month how can I do one everyday for a month? Well you see kids, this is where I cheat the system--I'm doing them all at once! Genius, right? Or cheating, but I'm really just looking for something to do, and you're right, there's no way I could keep it up for a month. And I'm currently suffering from insomnia so I'll do anything to get my eyes to close...here goes nothing!

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts



1. My name is Ellen Mae Dennis, but I go by Emma.
2. I'm 19 years old turning 20 on April 8th.
3. I'm a sophomore by year, junior by credit, at Ball State University.
4. I'm a French Education major with an ESL certification.
5. I'm addicted to student leadership, mostly the kinds involving lots of acronyms.
6. I love to sing and play the piano.
7. My favorite color is cerulean blue.
8. I have an undying passion for Dr. Seuss.
9. I work at a movie theater and still love the smell of popcorn.
10. I know who I am.


Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest



Christopher Steven Latta. I've known him since I was in kindergarten and we've basically been everything humanly possible. Friends, enemies, boyfriend/girlfriend, we've done it all. Even though we're not together it's good to know that I can still come to him to talk like I could in 3rd grade =)


Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show



GREEK. I *love* this show. I've kept up with it since the first season with no regrets.


Day 04 - A picture of your night



I was watching this movie earlier tonight. Every time I watch "27 Dresses" or "The Ugly Truth" or "Killers" I tell myself it's because I'm in love with the male leads. I've only recently made the connection that Katherine Heigl is in them all...not to mention earlier I was planning my dream wedding...what can I say? I'M A GIRL!!!


Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory



Summer 2008 I was one of these 38 students to be selected to be part of the Indiana University Honors Program in Foreign Languages. I studied for seven weeks in St. Brieuc, France four to five classes a day five days a week. I stayed with a host family and signed a contract to only speak French the entire stay. I received an Award of Achievement along with several close friends and thousands of memories. It is definitely the reason why I am a French Education major today.


Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day



Julia Child. I love to cook and would DIE if I could study culinary and be successful with it. Amazingness would occur. However, it looks like I'll be staying in the confines of our family's make-believe franchise =)


Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item



My two rings that my parents got me. The diamond one on my left hand is from my 16th birthday, and the topaz/diamond one is from Christmas 2010. I love the band style and just the emotion behind them. I feel they help define who I am.


Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh



The one sleeping is Corey and the one smiling is Tyler. This was taken right before GLACURH 2010. These guys are so incredibly light-hearted with a great spirit and sense of humor, they have a tendency to make my life from time to time. I treat them both like my brothers and am glad to know them--especially for the laughs =P


Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most



I love my parents. I'm proud of how strong my mother is and how grounded my father is. It's been a tough journey for the past seven years but our entire family is stronger for it. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without either of them.


Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most fucked up things with



"Love ya, neighbor!" Amy is the love of my life. She's the best friend I could ask for and has *always* been there for me when I needed her. Our connection was instant and our friendship is strong. I've known her for almost two years now and together we've gone through several hair cuts, hair dyes, movies, popcorn, shoes, St. John's Bay, and so many more things. I can't even imagine my college experience without her.


Day 11 - A picture of something you hate



This is why I could never be Julia Child: I HATE EGGS! The smell gags me and the taste is almost as revolting. The *only* way I can eat eggs is if they are disguised and covered in cheese and ketchup. Bleck.


Day 12 - A picture of something you love



I love the piano. I started taking lessons from my mother when I was in first grade. Even though I haven't learned any new material since I've been in college, I still love going to the music rooms in the residence halls and just playing for me. It's calming and I love it.


Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist



Three Days Grace. I feel like a lot of people don't expect this one. It actually started from the movie Raise Your Voice. They went to a Three Days Grace concert in the movie and ever since I've been hooked. I have all of their albums and have seen them in concert--it's pretty legit =)


Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without



Ok so I used "someones" instead of "someone" I've already cheated once before might as well keep my streak going! Sarah and Jenna, my two best friends from Plainfield. we have been through so much drama it's crazy. We've all fought and disliked one another at some point but we've grown stronger through it. These two are crazy close and attend Indiana University while I'm almost three hours away at Ball State. It just makes the time we spend together just that much better =)


Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die



I have no idea why I want to do this--free falling scares the shit out of me. But it's something that has always sounded appealing in some way, shape, or form, and I'm sure before I die I'll make sure I've done it at least once.


Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you



Miss Chelsea Wheeler. President of the Residence Hall Association as well as Director for the Indiana Residence Hall Organization. Basically, this girl has POWER. I'm getting ready to serve my second term on her board and absolutely cannot wait.


Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently



This was my first IRHOC. My first exposure to boardroom and my first taste as to what I had gotten myself into running for and winning NCC/HCC. My term has been absolutely crazy but I've accomplished all of my goals and have made some crazy friends along the way. Definitely wouldn't trade it for anything.


Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity



Yup. I'm a control freak. I'm absolutely addicted to knowing everything I can and being in charge of everything. It's something I've been working extremely hard on and hope to improve.


Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little



I wasn't lying when I said I'd known Chris Latta for forever! This was from elementary school at some point...I'm thinking 2nd and 4th grade, personally. It's good to see how some things just never change.


Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel



Marseille, France. St. Brieuc is at the top north-western corner right by the English Channel. I want to go to the complete opposite side of the country. With it's Italian influence in the dialect, architecture, and culture, it sounds absolutely fantastic. Not to mention that my ideal honeymoon cruise ports there ;-)


Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget



Ok. I cannot explain how much this picture freaks me out. In my French Culture class we had to watch this movie about Joan of Arc. It was a black and white silent film about her and her death. Basically, every shot that wasn't explaining words was a close up of her face, teary eyed, pleading with the church. A combination of that plus the music plus the subject matter just gives me the heebee jeebees. In fact...I'm deleting this picture off my computer now...


Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at



I've always wanted to be able to draw. Like actually draw something of worth and have it look like...something of worth. At least I can live vicariously through my wonderful roommate as she's incredibly talented in this department! Did I mention my love for Dr. Seuss?


Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book



Really I find anything by Sarah Dessen absolutely fantastic. I own five of her books but I've read them all. "The Truth About Forever" Was the first book of hers that I read and instantly fell in love with it. I think I'm turning to it now as my favorite because I'm experiencing some of the themes in that book in myself. Oh this crazy little thing we call life...


Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change



Urgh. I'm an education major and I question it constantly. I want to be a teacher and I want to help the children, but I am sick and tired of dealing with the politics and drama that a school corporation brings. School systems are being turned into businesses but are getting a fourth of the pay of one. It's stupid. Yet here I am! ...about that...


Day 25 - A picture of your day



Yeah Ball State! Typical day of going to classes and being a good student. Now if only this picture was taken today...because that would be so much better to wake up to. I'm tired of this snow and spring-teasers...


Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you



French means a lot to me. I have truly found a passion for this language and would love to study it for the rest of my life. I hope to one day start translating for literature and work my way up to translating for the Olympics!


Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member



This picture describes our relationship perfectly. Rachel has *always* been the witty funny crazy one whereas I'm sitting back, smiling, and nodding my head because I usually can't keep up with her madness. I rarely think of her as two years younger...mostly because parts of me are still convinced that she's 9 or 11. Hard to think that she's graduating high school and off to college in less than six months...:'(


Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of



I almost put up that Joan of Arc picture again! GAHH!!! In summary, I am afraid of death. The idea of being gone from this world and not knowing where you're going next is absolutely nerve-wracking. Eternity just seems like forever...haha literally! Luckily I have some killer friends who make me feel better about it by convincing me that Jesus loves chicken bacon ranch sandwiches along with playing epic pounce forever. Craziness!


Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile



This is my favorite picture in the world. Nathan and Amy have affected my life so much it literally hurts to think about them being mad at me or not being in my life. I don't know where I'd be without them and I hope that no matter where our lives go after college that they'll always be a part of my life, because I know they'll always have a place in my heart.


Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss



Big Sister Ashley. Absolutely no biological resemblance at all. I was playing the piano after school one day waiting for musical practice to begin when she walked in, and gave me three pennies for me to keep playing. Ever since we've been fantastically close. She dealt more with my boy-crazy phase than my mother did, and she still lives to tell the tale! The three year difference has put a hindrance on our friendship. Once I got into high school she left. We went to different colleges and then she graduated. Now she has a job still 2.5 hours away and I see her rarely when we're both magically in our hometown at the same time. However, I know she'd come find me in a heartbeat if I needed it. I love her to death.


Day 31 - A picture of yourself



Welp! That's me I guess. Actually, it's probably more of me than you really needed to know. Luckily, I haven't posted since September, so the chances of someone actually knowing me reading this in the near future is slim to none. Love it! Thanks for watching, it's currently 5:40 am, I'm watching infomercials on Food Network, and I think it's finally time for me to go to bed.





"Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you."