Sunday, January 27, 2013

One Thing

One thing that I really love about my other blog, Celebrate the Small Things, is that it really does help me focus on the positive things in my life. I know on more than one occasion it's been hard for me to come up with a positive thing that happened that day, despite how little it has to be. However, when I reread my posts, I never am able to remember what had me bogged down. It truly focuses on only the positive, and I am really glad that I'm doing it. Even if I still struggle and have hard days, I'm glad I'm able to reflect on the positive and see how good my life really is.

I truly am blessed.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Teacher Rights: Cell Phones

So I had an interesting experience today during my student teaching: I had a student say that a teacher could not go through his phone after it had been confiscated, even just to turn the vibrate off so it wasn't a distraction in class. Now, if he had gone about it in a controlled and mature way, things might not have ended as they had. However, it was obvious that he was challenging our authority, and something had to be done about it. I then realized that I needed to know for myself what is within our rights when it comes to confiscated student materials, and let me tell you, I was intrigued by the results!

Above everything, students (especially this generation) forget that the school is not a democracy, and the "rights" they think they have in life do not apply within a school. Now this has several parts to it. First, the fact that minors don't have all their rights, they are passed to their parents/legal guardians. Second, when the parents/legal guardians are enrolling students into public schools, they are signing over those rights to the school. Third, the school system is very much like a benevolent dictatorship, where there is one leader (be it the principal of the school or the teacher of the classroom) and it is their job to make sure all actions benefit the group as a whole, not necessarily the specific individual. Last, schools follow "in loco parentis" or "in place of a parent", meaning that if a parent has a right to act upon something (such as confiscating a cell phone), so does the school.

So with that being said, it is obvious from the facts that a teacher can take away a cell phone at anytime. Now, a school might have a specific cell phone policy in place which teachers are required to follow. Whatever that policy is, that is what teachers are allowed to do. If it is up to the teacher's discretion, then the teacher follows the above guidelines. The argument "that's my property" is invalid because minors cannot own property, and chances are their parents are paying for the phone, anyway. If the student did buy it and is paying for it, or if the student is 18, the government of a school still supersedes this statement. The only way a teacher would not be able to confiscate a cell phone is if that was the specific school policy.

As far as opening the phone and viewing its content, I'm sure that's where more students feel violated. However, this is within teacher rights as well. If a teacher has probable cause or reasonable suspicion for something on the phone, the teacher can look through the phone. Also, referring back to the school being a benevolent dictatorship, the teacher is well within the rights to go into the phone if it would better serve the class (i.e.: the phone is making noise and needs to be turned off, the phone is being a distraction to other students, the phone might have potential evidence of a school threat, etc). Remember, the 4th amendment (search and seizure) is suspended in a school, so once more the only reason a teacher would not be able to go through a phone is if there was a specific school policy stating just that.

This is just a brief overview of everything that's out there. The bottom line is if students are abusing you as a teacher by being on their phones in class, that teacher can both take away the phone and go through it if necessary. There is no law or protection for the students in this matter. I honestly doubt there ever will be. But, if you have a question about this, I strongly suggest you doing your own research. It's amazing what you'll find out there with the right guidance :D

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Well put, Zac

This is completely stolen from one of my friends from high school, but with all the controversy about the constitution right now, I could not have said this better myself:

"So for all the the people who keep shouting "original intent" about the constitution... i think you all should take a real look at what your getting with that view.... first of all, there were 56 founders at the first continental congress, and the second continental congress, which actually gave us our constitution, but was not the same 56 founders (although many were similar...), so let alone anyone trying to establish "original intent" from 56 men of FAR varying opinions is absolutely absurd.... But if we are going to judge off of what was actually put on paper then let's do that... First off, none of you women, african-americans (or anyone of "color" for that matter) or even you white men who didn't own your own property (and that's LAND property) COULD NOT VOTE. Secondly, we'd still, more than likely have slaves, which I think we can ALL AGREE is one of country's very dark stains... and even for all of you who counter that many of the delegates apposed slavery... consider this. There is a clause within our constitution that delays the government from making any decision upon slavery for thirty years after the new government is set up? Why? Because the southern states, aka the slave states, REFUSED to sign any constitution that would ban slavery and had hoped with the above stated clause that slavery would either a) not be needed anymore or b) would come to a point where the states could be in peace with each other over the issue of slavery with the southern states still having their slaves.... FURTHERMORE, there are COUNTLESS examples that the founders INTENDED our government to grow and our Constitution to evolve! Look at (for you tea party people here your idol) Thomas Jefferson... "I like dreams of the future better than the history of the past..." showing a intellect for change that would without doubt come to our country and damning most of all to the proponents of "original intent," "i am not a advocate for frequent changes in laws and Constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors." Hence why we have AMENDMENTS allowed within our constitution and it has been amended 17 TIMES since the original ten in the Bill Of Rights! FINALLY, we have something in our constitution called the "NECESSARY AND PROPER" clause which allows the government to carry on acts as needed for the times presented... this is what Alexander Hamilton, ONE OF THE FOUNDERS, used in order to establish the first national bank.... In conclusion, the Constitution is not a "dead" document that the original intent theorist would have you believe.... it is a "living" document that is capable of change, THAT THE FOUNDERS INTENDED FOR US TO CHANGE AS THE TIMES CAME NECESSARY..."

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Last Blog of the Night, Promise

I wanted to add another New Year's Resolution while it was still fresh in my head:

-Floss more.

I have immaculate teeth. They weren't always this way, but after growing up, getting braces, and realizing how desperately I feel the need to keep my mouth clean, they stay pretty well kept. Never had a cavity, still have all of my wisdom teeth, I've had both dentists and orthodontists say how much they love my mouth. I've never been at risk of gingivitis, tooth decay, or any of that not fun stuff. However, Every visit without fail, under my permanent retainer on my bottom teeth, there is always plaque build-up. Well I went to the dentist on January 3rd and ever since I've found this new self-motivation to try and not have that build up at my visit in 6 months.

Currently, I brush my teeth at least two times a day, sometimes three or four (really depends on what I'm eating that day lol). Ever since I got back to school, I have also been flossing once a day, specifically right after I brush before bed. I have a handheld flosser as well as regular dental floss to use for under my retainer. I actually have been doing it nightly, go figure! I'd love to see this resolution go all the way through :)

Thank you, Lynne

With my major, I have gone through many ups and down. Do I want to teach or not? Do I want to do French or not? Do I want to do English or not? What exactly did I want?

For the past two semesters, I have been in love with every aspect of my major. The French, The English as a New Language, the Education, everything. Considering how the 5/6 semesters before that were so wishy washy, it's nice to have this confirmation.

My favorite professor of all times, Lynne, and I met up a couple times last semester, and she could visibly see how happy I was and how content I was with sticking with my original major. She asked me to recall what it was that made me feel happy and then she gave me the best advice I've ever gotten.

She told me to remember how that felt. Remember what it was that caused those good feelings and hold onto them. Because, it's not always going to be good, and it's not always going to work out. There are going to be times where things are going to outright suck. That's just how life is. But hold onto those good feelings and what caused them because it will get better. It will get back to the good feelings and then the bad ones will be as far away from your mind as possible.

Now I know she was referring to the teacher job market and education reform and just how this field is teaching and how frustrating it can be sometimes. But in all honesty this can be applied to all aspects of life. I look back at my previous post and I remember why I dislike being negative in my writing. It looms, it's what people remember, not the good ones.

So I took Lynne's advice and I went back to my happy feelings and what caused them. I went to my blog posts from March and April 2010 and I could feel myself smile because of how infectious my tone was in those posts. Yes, they were mostly about Zack, which is the reason why I feel down currently, but I remember how that all feels. I remember the smiling and the cooing and the honeymoon period and...they're fond memories. Our relationship changed so much the two years that we were together that even if we were still together I'd still look at those posts as fond memories and nothing more.

And it worked. My depression seemed less important. I remembered what happiness felt like. I'm still by myself in my room. Nothing has changed. Except I remembered happiness, and that has made all the difference.

It's a choice. I can look at an event and I can be sad, mad, depressed, angry, etc...or I could be indifferent and not let it effect me...or I could be content with what I have and maybe even happy. These are things in my control. And yeah there are times where I feel like being depressed is healthier or feels better than indifference, but it's still my choice. And with that control, I can get better again.

So thank you, Lynne, for showing me the light and the key to my own happiness. I am forever indebted to you and your wisdom :)

True Love

I go back and forth with this subject. Every fiber of my being believes that there is one exact match for us, and somehow, we are able to find that perfect match. Fate brings us together somehow in some cupid-esque way and then poof there's no looking back!

But...how possible is that? With as large as our world is as well as the conventions that society uses to rule our choices, can we actually find our true perfect match? I look at couples who have been together for 30 years and act like 16 year olds still and I wonder: What if they didn't go to the same university, or live in the same town, or have the same job? What if he decided to get a job 500 miles away before they met? Would they still meet at some point? Or would they find less suitable but still satisfying relationships with others? Or would they find better matches as if that were possible?

Yes I understand that if I could dissect and understand every discrete detail of falling in love then it wouldn't be the big deal it is. It would be just as meaningless as what we decide to wear for the day or what we decided to eat that day. And I know I don't want to get to that point, and I know I'm over analytical because I'm depressed from my recent break-up...

Which is actually where all of this is stemming from. I wish I could explain to everyone what I'm going through. I know my relationship wasn't perfect. I know that breaking up was the right decision. But I also know that I wouldn't be depressed and I wouldn't be making a constant fool of myself if we hadn't broken up. I constantly feel like I'm being broken to pieces. I find myself holding myself in hopes to keep me together. I'm not a suicidal person and I've never been into self-inflicted harm but I'd be lying if I said the thought of creating some sort of physical pain to distract me from the emotional pain hadn't crossed my mind...

I constantly feel like I can't talk about this because we broke up a month ago and when I told everyone we broke up I had it together. Not to mention that I feel like everyone's pain is 1000X more important than mine. I feel better helping others feel better, not waiting for someone to return the favor. But I keep having these random outbursts of crying lags and the mood that is impossible to remove...I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to move on but part of me knows that being with someone else would not mend the pain, just erase it for a moment or two...only to come back full force once I'm alone again.

And that's the other thing: Being alone right now is a nightmare. I'm doing what I can to stay busy and keep my mind off things, but at the end of the day I have to lay down in the dark and try and sleep. And that's when it hurts the most. I can't sleep through the night. I...I've never felt like this before. About anything. About anyone. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

If I am like this over someone who I can rationalize as not my perfect match true love, how in the world would I react over someone who breaks my heart without a justifiable reason, or someone who is closer to my perfect match?

For someone who has wanted nothing more than to fall in love, get married, and start a family, I'm sure doubting the sanctity of dating right now. Here's hoping it passes.

I miss you.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Tis the Giving Season

And boy have I been given a bunch! I feel so honored and blessed to be in a school system where they give their student teachers as many tools as possible to help them succeed. I have been given the following:

-A desk of my own in my supervising teacher's classroom
-A filing cabinet of my own
-Two copies of all the textbooks and workbooks I'll be using in the French classroom: one for home and one for class
-My own username and password on the school network
-My own e-mail on the school network
-Access to the school's WiFi on my laptop
-My own key to my supervising teacher's classroom
-A parking permit for the teacher parking lot
-The SMARTBoard Notebook software for Mac on my laptop
-Three prep periods

And yes, I was given these. I did not have to pay a cent for any of it. It's crazy amazing!

When I had first been accepted into student teaching here, they were talking about me spending the three classes that my teacher does not teach French, I would be in an English classroom to get experience in my two other certification areas. However, when my university supervisor came to meet with my supervising teacher and me, she said that since I was teaching four different years I could use the three periods as prep periods. I am so absolutely blessed! I realize that when I become a teacher I will not have such opportunities, but the fact that I am being completely accommodated is amazing. This is reaffirming my desire to be a teacher and I think this is a great transition to having my own classroom!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Documentation







Being in the school five days a week and seeing seven periods of students come in and out of the classroom, I am starting to understand this more and more. But at the same time, I still don't necessarily agree with it.

Let me explain: The question is why is our generation obsessed with documenting everything? If you think about it, several generations have been obsessed with documenting everything. Why else do we have journals, scrapbooks, photo albums, diaries, etc? As it is, the means by which this generation documents everything is now 100% digital. They put their "diary entries" on Facebook and Twitter. They "scrapbook" on Pinterest or Tumblr. Instead of printing things, or handwriting things, or developing pictures, we now can store and document it all on our computers and the Internet. And I mean, there are projectors that can hook up to your phone for Pete's sake...if you're worried about not being able to display your work or pull them out at the tip of a hat...you're wrong :P

But with that being said, I understand where the gif is coming from. Your scrapbook, photo album, journal or diary were not for the public's eye. Some were for family or close friends, but most were completely for you, and you'd get pissed if anyone else read it. I'm still like this. Yes, I have two blogs that I make public for everyone, but I have several places where I have my private notes, and if someone reads them or finds them I am not a happy camper.

This generation does not have a filter. It's not just the means they use to pour their thoughts out, but it's the fact that thoughts that should be kept quiet are put on public pages. My supervising teacher has told me stories about students who full out tell her about unstable home lives, I've overheard students talking about their sex lives like it's as casual as what they ate for breakfast, and the students don't care who knows. I remember when I was in school there were things you talked about and things you waited until after school to talk about. I remember the taboo subjects and the subjects that you wouldn't talk about for fear of going to the principal's office. And I feel like kids these days just don't care. I remember I was watching the hallways during passing period and the assistant principal asked a girl if she was going to be late and her exact words were "I don't know, I don't care". I heard another student tell a teacher "I don't give a fuck". Like seriously? For real? Man if I said Fuck I would have gotten a detention, been sent to the principal's office, and they would have called my mother and I would have gotten in trouble at home too. But now? Does no one really care?

Kids these days :P

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Goals for 2013

Now that a new year has started, I want to take a moment and actually write down the things I would like to accomplish this year:

-Less Drama: This was the New Years Resolution I chose to try and complete throughout the year. I have already taken some steps to get rid of unnecessary drama from my life, but in every interaction I am trying to make sure that I am not gossiping or spreading rumors in order to keep less drama in my life. I have always been entertained by dramatic occurrences, but I know they are for the most part unnecessary, and there are people who get hurt by it. So hopefully by cutting it out I am making myself a more well-rounded and credible individual.

-Graduation: Even though this is pretty much a given, I am listing it as something I plan to accomplish this year. No more school! Whoo!

-Language Teacher Job: Despite how specific this sounds, it's actually quite vague. I don't care if I get a job as an English Language Arts teacher, as an English as a New Language teacher, or as a French Teacher. I don't care if this job is in Indiana, Kentucky, New York, France, or anywhere. I just want to get hired within the year.

-Swear Less: I had thought about this being my New Years Resolution again, but about 42 minutes within the New Year I failed :P Because I'm going to be in the schools everyday student teaching and then (hopefully) being a teacher full time, I want to keep the language I use school appropriate. I know that if I make this a habit in my personal life, it'll be easier to do when I'm at the school.

-Do More of What I Love: I keep meaning to learn a new piece of music on the piano, or sing more, or write more; but there is always something else to occupy my time. And some of it is completely unnecessary. If I'm doing things I enjoy rather than things that are closer or easier, then that should help me be happier, which is my next goal.

-Be Happier: It is so easy to get bogged down by all the stresses and lower points in life. I don't want to do that. I want to be able to handle the bad but live in the good. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so that's what I plan to do: Enjoy my life.

-Finally See Avengers: Because my sister has seen it 11 times...9 of which were in theaters...and is completely flabbergasted that I have yet to see it once. This goal will probably be accomplished within the next few days because I promised my sister I would watch it before I went back to school, but she still insisted that I put it on the list. Just for you, Rachel... :P

I know I have more things that I hope to accomplish this year, but I think this is a good list to work from when trying to make the most of these 365 days :)

Annnnnnd...GO!