Question

I honestly have no idea how to phrase any of the thoughts in my head right now.

Is it possible for emotional pain to be worth it? Can that pain lead you to happiness? Is that happiness real or is it just something to make you forget the pain?

Say you're in a relationship and your significant other cheats on you. If you forgive them and continue with the relationship, is it possible to be happy in that relationship again? Is it possible for that happiness to be real? Is it possible for that one indiscretion to become water under the bridge and no longer be an issue? Would it come up in other fights? First you're arguing about not having enough money and the next thing you know you're bringing up the fact that he/she cheated. Would that happen?

Of course each relationship is different and each couple is different so what might work out for one might not work out for another. There's the expression "No guy is worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry". That brings in another whole set of questions: Where is the line between reality and lowering your standards? He made me cry, should I accept that every guy at some point will, or should I hold out for the one that honestly doesn't?

I think the reason these questions are in my head because I feel ready for a relationship again. It's hard to admit, because there are still parts of me that are guarded. I feel wrong to feel ready for a relationship again. I feel like I keep on having an internal battle between what I want vs society; what I want vs family outlooks, what I want vs perception. I've always said that I know I've found the one when my own conviction is louder than society's, my family's, or any outside perception's. But then again, when stating that, does it look like I'm doing things out of spite? Should I care if that's what it looks like? Is that what it truly is?

For some crazy reason I feel like I'm going to tell someone that I want to be in a relationship and they're just going to flat out tell me no, I can't. Now does that mean that I'm afraid of what people will think? Is that my conscience telling me unconsciously that I'm not ready?

We're taught when we're younger not to judge a book by it's cover. I hope as adults this concept can still hold true.

MYO Chicken Taquitos

So today I decided to make my own lunch, and I saw some of the ingredients we had in the fridge, so I decided to make my own chicken taquitos. Here's everything I did:

You will need:
-2 flour tortillas
-1 cooked chicken breast (boneless, skinless) cut into 1/2 inch pieces
-shredded cheese (about 1 cup)
-crispy potatoes (about 1 cup)
-bacon crumbles (about 1/2 cup)
-2 T sour cream
-2 T salsa

Pre-steps: Make sure your chicken is cooked and seasoned however you like it. Mine personally was seasoned with season salt, garlic powder, and onion powder. I chose to use a Mexican blend shredded cheese. The crispy potatoes would be best to be home fries or cubed potatoes of sorts, I used french fries since that was all we had in the house. Make sure that they're cooked (ie: not cold/frozen) and crispy. I mixed my sour cream and my medium salsa to create one sauce, but that's just my own preference. Remember, this recipe makes two taquitos so don't pile all your ingredients onto one tortilla, because it won't fit.

1: start with your tortilla (no brainer, right?)

2: Spread your sauce

 3: 1/4 C cheese

 4: 1/2 chicken breast

5: 1/2 C potatoes

6: 1/4 C bacon crumbles

7: 1/4 C cheese

8: Fold corners. Make sure all ingredients are in center of tortilla. Fold in so that there are no openings.

9: Grill. Make sure you put a nonstick spray in your pan before you put the tortilla on, or else the tortilla will peel. Grill the side you folded that way it will seal shut. You also want to be on a medium heat that way your tortilla will grill but not burn and your cheese will melt and everything will get nice and warm inside. Keep an eye on it, it shouldn't take even five minutes.

10: Flip it and grill the other side. DO NOT FLIP IT MULTIPLE TIMES; once is fine :)

 

11: Enjoy!

The entire process shouldn't take very long, maybe 15 minutes. Like I said, this makes two and they definitely fill you up! Every single one of these ingredients is replaceable, so if you'd rather use guacamole or steak go right ahead! Make whatever you'll eat and enjoy!

Celebrating a Small Thing

Today, I realized how awesome "absence makes the heart grow fonder" can feel. I've been seeing a guy here and there for the past couple of weeks. It's been a lot of hanging out but there have also been moments where I have reason to believe we are seeing each other. Well I was leaving for my spring break and we talked that Friday and he didn't realize I was leaving. It was so cute how he was feeling badly that he didn't get to say goodbye. And THEN I called him after work last night, and we talked on the phone for five and a half hours! I don't even remember the last time I was on the phone with anyone for near that long! And during this conversation he was saying things about how he thinks he might be ready for a relationship and he was talking about me introducing him to my mother as my boyfriend, and this and that and the other thing....it was crazy adorable! It was a great conversation and even though the hour was crazy I definitely look forward to having more conversations like this while I'm home and then seeing him when I get back :)

Videos that Make me Smile

Trying to distract myself today, I've found some awesome videos online. These two just absolutely speak to me right now, and I feel the need to share them:


This video is perfect for the song.

I've seen the full short, but this trailer is enough because that's the best, most emotional song I've probably every listened to. It deserved the Oscar hands down.

Videos that Make me Laugh

Here are some of my favorite videos that make me laugh and brighten my day :)

Two British guys experience Wal-Mart



Harry Potter turned into a RomCom

Funny Animation

These animals are personified hilariously

Let's Play the Let's Be Honest Game Here

If I forget to post a daily blog post on my other blog, I'll write it the next day but change the time stamp so it looks like I really did post it on time.

Although when asked why I don't like chocolate I usually blame the caffeine, I truly just think it tastes bitter.

When it comes to math and word games, I feel like the black sheep in my family.

I'm afraid of settling for someone when there's someone better out there for me.

The only reason I sleep with a blanket on top of my sheets and covers on my bed is so I don't have to remake my bed each day.

Dustin calls me Elly (or El) and I surprisingly really like it.

I think I've done a good job of making myself an example for my future children.

I'm slightly obsessed with picking at my split ends.

The song "Let It Grow" from The Lorax makes me cry.

Listening to Three Days Grace will put me in a better mood, no matter what mood I was in beforehand.

I would love to find someone who not only would but would want to here my life story, no matter how boring I may think it sounds.

No matter how confident I sound, I get extremely anxious in new social groups and situations.

I will go to great lengths and do/buy near anything to keep me out of pain.

The Tables have Turned

So I'm watching some of the beginning episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager and it's so interesting to see the red flags go off in my head. I mean, this show is hella dramatic, and more times than not it makes me want to yell at the TV, but the writers are kind of genius. No, I don't think that the "secret life" of the American teenager is all about sex (some of it, yes, but not all of it), but these writers made sure that educators, parents, and pretty much anyone outside of adolescence had these red flags raised. There are certain things that the actors say, things they portray, and just general signs that make you want to call the authorities. Peer pressure, bullying, rumors, and the need for therapy are just some of the portrayals. These are things that we study to become educators, and although I've never been a parent, I'm sure it's pretty instinctual to worry about these things. It's pretty crazy.

Glad I never was a troubled teen. Or at least, not AS troubled ;)

Some Things are Worth the Money

Ok, I know I *can* be a picky eater, but as far as food quality, I didn't think I was that bad. I mean, add enough cheese or salt and anything will taste good, right?

Erm...well I found out the hard way how wrong I was.

So I have recently moved in with a friend about an hour and ten minutes away from my parents in order to take a French teaching job. I'm in charge of groceries and food, so when I went grocery shopping I made sure to get things that I could cook from scratch but also some canned/boxed foods that are easy to make. Personally, I stuck with brands that I knew, because I knew that if I ate it then my roommate would as well.

So I purchased an item such as this:




Pasta and red sauce, a nostalgic favorite for anyone who grew up in the 90s, and a reputable brand. Even at 21, this for a meal every once in a while (I certainly wouldn't be able to eat it more than that) is acceptable to the pallet. It tastes like it's supposed to, and you could add cheese, sour cream, crackers, ground beef, whatever strikes your fancy to "kick it up a notch". But just straight from can to microwave to bowl to mouth, it's decent.

Now I take responsibility for procrastinating grocery shopping this week (long day, finally Friday, really wasn't in the mood to tackle a grocery store today). So not in the mood to spend time on making something, I look in the cabinet and find this:


Now, it's a store brand, but the concept is pretty similar. AND they already added a cheese sauce to the tomato sauce, so I thought that would be one step less for me! I had always been told that the majority of store brands of products were the EXACT SAME as the name brand, only the store bought the items in bigger bulk so it's cheaper so they can sell their product cheaper.

Umm...yeah not in this case.

Again, I understand that it's not 100% the same, so it's like I'm comparing a granny smith apple with a yellow delicious, but the majority of it is the same.

Well, let me tell you, this product was ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

1) It was so unbelievably bland. First, I put garlic salt in it. Then I put season salt in it, then I put more of both in. THEN I put regular salt in. I could not believe how much seasoning it took just to get some sort of flavor into it.

2) The pasta was slimy. AS IN It had a residual film on it that would stick to my fork, stick to my mouth, and just make the entire thing completely unappealing.

I actually ended up throwing a good amount of the can away because I couldn't justify finishing it. Yes, it was THAT bad! I don't know if I've ever been so disappointed by a food before!

I am now 100% determined to only buy brands that I know will by what I want. Granted, I didn't buy that can or the rest that you can see in the shelf, but I have been telling my roommate for months now that what he feeds himself with can barely constitute as "food". It's about time I give him some...perspective :)

Mustafa: [taking Ego's order] Do you know what you'd like this evening, sir?
 
Anton Ego: Yes, I think I do. After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new cook, you know what I'm craving? A little perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well seasoned perspective. Can you suggest a good wine to go with that?

Mustafa: With what, sir?

Anton Ego: Perspective. Fresh out, I take it?

Mustafa: I am, uh...

Anton Ego: Very well. Since you're all out of perspective and no one else seems to have it in this BLOODY TOWN, I'll make you a deal. You provide the food, I'll provide the perspective, which would go nicely with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947.

Mustafa: I'm afraid... your dinner selection?

Anton Ego: [stands up angrily] Tell your chef Linguini that I want whatever he dares to serve me. Tell him to hit me with his best SHOT.
[Ratatouille, 2007 IMDB]

:)

Funniest Picture I've Seen in a While

And expresses my views on tattoos perfectly :D

Things that Keep Me Up at Night

Why did someone decide that counting sheep would get them to sleep? Why not cats? Or Toads?

The phrase "nothing's impossible", does it mean that nothing as in no [space] thing is impossible? Or does it mean that the entity that is nothing, is impossible?

Who decided to bend a piece of flexible metal in a certain shape in order to hold papers together? How did that particular shape get mainstreamed?

Could I have actually succeeded at teaching music?

Why do I never remember how bad the pain of sickness is?

What will I do if a student 100% defies me in the classroom?

Why do recording artists take their time to create both a song as well as a different radio edit. It's one thing to let the radio fudge over inappropriate words, but if you're going to take the time and spend the money to make the radio edit, why don't you just use the radio edit? Is being vulgar really the make/break point of the song? I highly doubt it.

Who chooses hold music and what do they consider when choosing the music?

Why is it so hard to stay on the right side of the moral line?

Is there anyone you can listen to if you can't listen to yourself?

Why is it such a big deal when we find the next decimal to pi or the next largest prime number?

If yawns are contagious, who yawned first?

Will I still be able to sing 25 years from now?

What's the point of all of this?