I'm THAT Girl

All throughout my schooling career, I've not enjoyed Social Studies/History classes. I have little to no interest in the subject, and I find it hard to concentrate and pay attention and retain the information necessary to do well in those courses. My sister doesn't get it because she actually likes those sort of things (but I mean come on her favorite season is winter so what does that tell you about her lol). Anyway, this would typically confound my friends and classmates because even though I didn't like it and would complain about it often, that didn't mean I was bad in those classes.

I remember my 12th grade year I took regular Government rather than We The People/AP Government and a lot of my friends questioned my decision. Having multiple reasons, such as being in France for two months would make it hard to find American news articles as well as there were some people in that class I wasn't too fond of, the main reason was it was my senior year and I didn't want it to be spoiled by being in an honors class that not only did I not enjoy but didn't care about. So I took regular government, and it was seriously the easiest class in the world. But you better bet I complained about it. It was one of those classes where you're sitting in the back of the room reading and the teacher thinks they're being smart and calling on you to show how you weren't paying attention but then you bust out the right answer and the teacher hangs their mouth and you just sigh from being bored...

My favorite part about that class was when it was over and report cards came, my mom wanted to lecture me so badly about getting a C on the final. The thing was, I had such a high A from doing NOTHING in that class yet still succeeding, that the C legitimately changed nothing in my grade.

Anyway, the point of this anecdote is that I have found a similar situation in my adult life. At the movie theater, there are two main closing duties: Counting all the cash flow throughout the day and dealing with nightly paperwork, and counting our stock inventory and making sure it matches what the computer says we should have on hand. Most nights, each manager picks one of the tasks and that's what they focus on all night. If you're really good, both managers can get done relatively at the same time. However, more times than not, inventory takes longer than cash.

If I am given my choice and the other managers legitimately want me to chose, I will always choose cash. I've been doing it longer and the administrative side of me prefers working with those numbers and paperwork, and I have a pretty flawless system were everything gets done orderly and efficiently. However, there are some times where I get cornered into doing inventory, and each time I basically make it known how much I don't like doing it. I don't like feeling secluded and uninvolved and being behind the concession stand while all the other managers are in the lobby makes me feel just that.

Only here's the thing: I'm actually quite good at inventory. As in, I did it on Tuesday for the first time in over a month (and we do this nightly) and I finished BEFORE the cash manager did (which really only ever happens if someone completely messed up their cash, and that night that was not the case). However it was a Tuesday which is one of our slower days, so it might have been just a fluke. However, I also did it tonight, on a Saturday, which has the most likely of all the days for there to be gross errors in inventory. The previous night the manager who had done it spent over an hour REcounting EVERYTHING because he was so off and basically had to end the day with a loss of a great amount of product and money. I was preparing for a similar night (because typically things don't disappear and then reappear for counting) but as I entered my numbers into the computer and saw the results, everything was exactly as it should have been. Not only was my FIRST set of counts in the great range, but I was done before any of the other managers,  including over an hour before cash was done.

BUT EVEN KNOWING THIS! Knowing that I have a system that works extremely well and can do it in a time efficient manner...I'll still complain about it and I'll still pick cash over inventory every time.

The Best Thing Ever Introduced to Public School Lunches

My parents did not give me school lunch money after 7th grade. I was responsible for either packing my own lunch, using my own money to buy school lunch, or going without for the day. I usually packed my lunch, but there was one item that you always had to get if they were serving, especially since they were only around once a month:

PEANUT. BUTTER. BARS.

You see the lunch lady bring out a tray of these and the Gods are smiling down on you. You try and get the best piece available but know that no matter what piece you get is going to be the upmost delicious thing you've had in a month. You savor it, and wish they would come more often.

As a fellow baker, I've looked for copycat recipes and tried my own concoctions to recreate this beloved childhood favorite. I've had some that are not even close...some that were close but not close enough, and then this one. And...I've found it.

I believe this is the third recipe I tried. The simplicity of it makes me wonder where I could have gone wrong in the previous ones, but the taste test holds true: They taste exactly the same.

I found this recipe on Pinterest. She claimed that they tasted like Reese's Cups...but obviously she either had not tasted the actual peanut butter bars, or she was mixing up childhood memories. Either way, I saw everything and decided to give it a try. I have made only a few tweaks, but this recipe is pretty darn close.

Ingredients

1 cup butter melted

2 cups graham cracker crumbs (use the boxed kind, or grind them in a food processor. Tiny granules.)

2 cups confectioners’ (powdered) sugar

1 cup peanut butter

For the Frosting
1/2 cup peanut butter chips

1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

peanut butter to taste

Some notes about the ingredients:

-Definitely make sure you use actual BUTTER. Using margarine will not yield the same delicious results (Will probably not hold/set as well).

-I used the Keebler boxed graham cracker crumbs. At first I thought they weren't fine enough, but they are actually quite perfect. I also had another 1/4 cup of the crumbs set aside to help the consistency of the peanut butter part.

-Water displacement is your friend

-I used Toll House Semisweet chocolate chips, Reese's Peanut Butter Chips, and Peter Pan peanut butter.

Directions

In a medium bowl, mix together the melted butter, graham cracker crumbs, confectioners’ sugar, and 1 cup peanut butter until well blended. Press evenly into the bottom of an ungreased 9×13 inch pan. In a metal bowl over simmering water, or in the microwave, melt the chocolate and peanut butter chips, stirring occasionally until smooth. Add peanut butter as desired. Spread over the peanut butter layer. Refrigerate for at least one hour before cutting into squares.

Some notes on the directions:

-Please feel free to use a fork, there's no need to whip out the electric mixer for this.

-You want the concoction to be completely mixed, however be able to pick up with hand and mold without leaving a complete mess. Like you could roll in a ball and make chunky peanut butter cookies. This is where the 1/4 cup of graham cracker crumbs will come in handy if it's too wet.

-I used a 9x9 glass Pyrex pan. These ratios fit fine without it being too full or thick.

-The frosting is what I changed most from the recipe. I think the original recipe's chocolate made it more like Reese's Cups, but this is closer to what the schools had. If you're using the double boiler to melt the chocolate...congratulations, you're an overachiever. I put the chips in another Pyrex bowl and microwaved them in 30 second increments, stirring after each time (I've burnt chocolate in the microwave enough times not to do more than that). I believe I ended up adding about a tablespoon of peanut butter after that. You want the bitterness of the semi-sweet chocolate to be cut by the peanut butter. It should be a nice light brown color when you're done.

I waited the hour (longest hour of my LIFE) and cut the squares. The taste test was definitely worth the wait. I was surprised how spot on things were! If there was ever a moment of life achievement, that was it. I proceeded to share with my sister and a coworker, who were also crying with delight that was the heavens in their mouths.

As you can see, they're almost gone. After less than 24 hours. Luckily my aversion to chocolate doesn't have me eating a lot, but my sister on the other hand...

Accommodations

The big thing these days is to see what substitutions you can get away with. This is going to have to be someone else's experiment, because I am absolutely terrible at substitutions going successfully. But this is by no means healthy for you (except for letting your childhood rest in peace of course). I mean, two cups of powdered sugar...because that's healthy. However, things I'm wondering:

-What can we use instead of butter? I'm curious how Greek Yogurt or Applesauce would affect the results.

-Would the more natural/healthy nut butters (almond butter for example) give a similar if not better result?

-What about finely processed granola? Or oats?


I do like how easy the ratios are for the current recipe. This could probably very easily be converted into a one serving thing to ease the guilt in our consciences (like a microwave mug minus the microwaving). But if you were making these for a larger crowd it would be simple to convert.

I'd love to hear about any success stories! Let me know if your taste buds have been saved as mine have :)

Oops

Obligatory post so that I don't miss a month.

I have I think three blog drafts. One is extremely personal so it's taking forever to get the right feeling to post. Another is very very personal to the point of I doubt I'll ever post, and the third is one I started when I was half asleep and just haven't gotten around to finishing. Some updates:

Rachel came to live with me this summer

I am staying at Perry Meridian High School to teach ENL

My roommate got a dog that I continuously have a love-hate relationship with

My quest to eliminate all dangling prepositions from my written and spoken language is not succeeding

Rest in Peace, Dave Thornton

Quiet hallways scare me. Having passing period come and go with so little chatter is disturbing. These are high schoolers, and their lives have been affected in ways very few know how to be prepared.

The class across from me is always buzzing. Today I can barely hear the teacher.

There were going to be humorous presentations, now instead there are crosswords, study halls, and word of another teacher fighting cancer.

He was in the school teaching last week. LAST WEEK. He wanted more than anything to make it until the AP Calculus test and be there for his students until then. He did. He made it. But he paid for it, because he left the school early that day, driven by another teacher, because he was malnourished and dehydrated.

The cancer took advantage of his big heart and shredded it to pieces.

I see several math teachers throughout the day. It hurts that all I can ask is "how are you holding up" knowing that they have it so much worse than I do. They *knew* him. They worked with him. They LOVED him.

He was incredibly involved in the school. While we only exchanged smiles in the hallway a few times, I knew who he was because of the impact he had on the school. He was the wrestling coach. He tutored after school. He climbed mountains. He ran half-marathons. He had more teacher awards from students than could be counted.

Quiet hallways scare me. All anyone ever said was "if anyone should be able to beat this, it's him." While I'm sure this is a common phrase among most victims, I truly believe this to the core. He fought it for four years. He showed strength in times of weakness, and hope in times of helplessness. He was in school last week. He found out his liver was failing last night. He died hours later. It all happened so fast... Screaming...and then silence.

I donated today. even though everything is final, I had to reach out somehow. He had only been married for seven years. He had two daughters, 4 and 6 years old. He left behind a family of falcons that have so much respect for him, they are silent in the hallways. I had to do something. I had to do something.

It is easier, for me, to support rather than mourn. I will continue to ask how the math teachers are doing and will continue to hope that the silence turns from something scary to something beautiful.

Dave Thornton, you will be forever loved, forever missed, and forever remembered. God bless.

BEHOLD THE TRUTH!!!

In convenient picture form :)

Stream of Consciousness 3

If I had to choose one subject to teach, I'm pretty sure it would always be French. I love teaching ENL and I love that I get to teach both, because those learning English actually WANT to learn and it's a treat to see them discover the language. However, my own passion is with French. I was explaining how the word "qu'est-ce que" came to be and going through it all...I knew no matter who understood that's what I enjoyed.

I like to read stories over again because I love getting to feel consumed by it time and time again. It's very easy for me to get sucked in and read as though I'm participating in a movie. Typically I enjoy a story because I enjoy the ending (there's a reason why I've read Divergent multiple times but not the final part of the trilogy). To me, it's not about knowing how it ends, it's about the journey TO the happily ever after.

Sometimes I wish teachers weren't so good at hiding their facebook. I'm sure others probably feel the same about me, but how am I supposed to be friends with these people if I can't cyber stalk them? (sarcasm)

I go back and forth between saying I'm allergic vs I'm sensitive to caffeine. The way I truly believe it works: You know how you get a headache if you stare at the computer for too long, or how you get a stomach ache for eating too much of something you like? That's how caffeine is for me, only it happens much more quickly than it does most people.

I don't think I'm passive aggressive. Passive aggressive--to me--sounds like, very literally, that you are taking out your aggression passively. Back handed compliments, hedging around the issue, etc. What I do is just completely shut down. I will go silent and remain silent until I know I won't say anything that shouldn't be said.

I think my ideal soulmate wouldn't be passive in his own life. I think he'd have strength...just more than likely in areas where I don't. I know I want to be the best at what I do, but I think I want to be with someone who is the best at what he does too.

I legitimately have no desire to leave Indiana, preferably even Indianapolis. I think this surprises most people, including my family. I'm not sure if it's because I'm afraid to try something new or I'm afraid to be alone, but I have absolutely no issues raising a family here.

I don't think I'm as extraverted as people make me out to be. I think I'm probably 65% extravert, 35% introvert. I think I'm surrounded by people who are more mostly introverted so I seem more extraverted, even though I still have quite a few introverted tendencies.

I think I have sympathies towards claustrophobia. While small spaces themselves don't bother me, I get anxious when I feel like I don't have room. Considering this just happened in my 1000 sq ft apartment, I think they're related but not an exact definition.

I do not for a second regret being a teacher's pet in high school, and to certain professors in college. The fact that at a drop of a hat I can get multiple letters of recommendation for any type of position I want is a blessing.

I have no idea what I'm going to do when I have free time over the summer. I say free time even though I'll still be working 40 hours a week. Considering it's a drop from 65-75 hours a week, it's going to feel like copious amounts of free time.

On that note, I don't even want to start thinking about what it will feel like when I have NO job over the summer/breaks. Maybe my yen for traveling will come back.

One more Comment about Feminism

Last comment, for now.

Shailene Woodley is getting a lot of crap for her interview with TIME and her views on feminism. I just want to say a couple things:

Her main argument  is that she's not for feminism because "raise women to power, take the men away from the power is never going to work because you need balance".

While most feminists will say that feminism is defined as vying for equality for men and women alike. If you think about it, that's what Shailene wants, she just doesn't call it feminism. She calls it sisterhood. Also, considering we live in a male-dominant world, wouldn't men have to lose power in order for women to gain it? Wouldn't that mean that you are "taking the men away from the power", which is what she says she's against?

So it sounds like we're saying the same thing, only you're mad that she said she's not feminist. This reminds me of when hipsters were a thing. See, my boyfriend is not the stereotypical hipster (glasses, starbucks, angst) but I would call him one all the time. Because my definition of hipster is synonymous with pretentious. He'd make a comment about how he did or did not like something, airing on how he's better than someone with opposite implications, and I would call him a hipster for it. I feel like this article is the same way: You all believe in the same thing, just are calling it different things.

I don't like the stigma and connotations that come with being a feminist. If I were to agree with the ideals, I probably still wouldn't call myself a feminist because my initial reaction IS to shy away from it.

There is one more thing that she says in her interview that I feel expressed my feelings towards "feminism" exactly. "I don't know how we as women expect men to respect us because we don't even seem to respect each other. There's so much jealous, so much comparison and envy". YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!

A woman will do or say what is socially acceptable more often than do what they want. You are going to tell your friend they look cute, lost weight, look tan, etc before you tell them you hate their dress, are wearing too much make-up, have a muffin top, and have been tanning too much. You are going to befriend someone you do not get along with just so you can keep up on the drama in their lives and watch them crumble and burn. You are going to surround yourself with people who have the traits you wish you had in yourself, and then you are going to talk badly about them to your other friends. PLEASE TELL ME HOW ANY OF THAT IS RESPECTFUL!!!!

Men don't do this. And that is why they're in more power than women. And if you think for a second that women striving for equality is going to end there, you are delusional. Women will not stop until they have it all, because that is the nature of their character.

A very accurate (though exaggerated) portrayal of this is in the comic "Y the Last Man" I think all "feminists" should check it out.

Bottom Line: Could Shailene have conducted a better interview to get her views across accurately? Absolutely. However, welcome to America where we enjoy making our celebrities look dumb to validate the common person.