I'd Like to Thank All The Little People

I got my first (practice) evaluation of the year last week. It went well and I got some great feedback, but that wasn't the most memorable part of it. My guest evaluator knew me before I was a teacher. He even knew me before I was in college to become a teacher. He was actually student teaching in my mother's classroom when I was a senior in high school. SMALL WORLD! There's just something about this guy that makes me create super random connections, because back in high school we did the whole six degrees of separation with his fiancée working with my best friend...it's a long story. But the craziest thing was even though it had been six years we still knew each other and were able to quickly catch up. He even sent me a note the next week saying how nice it was to have seen each other again!

Tiny impacts...it made me realize that I have had some awesome teachers in my life who have impacted my life. I just wanted to take the time to tribute them all.

Mrs. Shelton was my 2nd and 3rd grade teacher. She looped us up and I loved her for it. I was one of three kids who never got marked for discipline, and she took us out for pizza and ice cream because of it. As a second/third grader you don't think "I should stay in contact with this person", but even so, when I graduated high school she sent me a card. I don't know if she followed that I became a teacher, but I doubt I'd have wanted to become one without her.

Miss Montgomery was my 5th grade teacher. Fresh meat, right out of college. I was originally supposed to have my 4th grade teacher for 5th grade but she moved out of the district before school started. I loved Miss Montgomery. She probably let me get away with much more than I should have, but I don't have a single bad memory from her class. She used "Learn Ball", which had us have teams and we got so many points doing certain things throughout the day and we could actually try and shoot basketballs to earn points at the end of the day. The vividness of some of my memories from 5th grade are crazy, but the best was the fact she gave me the "most likely to become a teacher" superlative. She was there was I was inducted into the National Honor Society, and when I graduated high school. Thanks to modern technology, we're able to keep up with each other through Facebook. It's pretty cool to see the path that was paved for me so young stay true all this time.

I had two teachers in 7th grade that inspired me. The first was my science teacher, Mrs. Effinger, because she pushed me to understand what I had never tried to understand before. At the end of the year, my report card came and it said I got a C in her class. My parents were furious, especially when I said I had no idea who I could have gotten a C. Two weeks later, I get a card from her in the mail saying that there was a mishap with the grades, I had actually gotten an A-, and that they should be honored and proud to have a daughter like me I'M NOT KIDDING! My mom was touched, and it was nice to have a teacher that challenged me.

Mrs. Jennings was my 7th grade English teacher. One of those teachers that you just have an instant connection with. To this day I thank her for putting up with my huge ego thinking that I had a decent writing bone in my body. I cringe every time I read them now...but she is a saint! She encouraged me to write! If it weren't for her I might not be so obsessed with keeping up a blog...It's not fiction, but it's been one of the best outlets I've had. Even if it's a mindless post it keeps me sane.

Mrs. Shumaker was my high school French teacher. She's the reason why I'm convinced that every French teacher needs to have some insanity in them...and it's so true. It's not easy to take French. The spelling is different, the pronunciation is different, you cannot be a student not wanting to do work, and do well in French. Which means that I have to spend a lot of time making my lessons engaging and comprehensive so that whatever learning type my students are, I can reach them. As a teacher now, I look back at some of the things she had us do and think "THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW!!!" Every other French teacher I have met has had some crazy in them, so I'm determined to keep the trend going.

I only had Mrs. Cumberworth for one year as a teacher, but she was the English Academic Superbowl coach, and I participated in that for the three years that I didn't have her as a teacher. She was another one that made me learn to challenge myself, and that's a skill I can't thank anyone enough for. Not only did I spend free time working on reading and understanding extremely complex works of literature, but she helped me develop my writing style more than anyone else has. There was one college project my freshman year where I had to turn around and write 17 pages essentially in a day...and I was able to do so thanks to her. Now people can't get me to stop writing, if you couldn't tell from this extremely verbose blog entry...

As much as I want to keep the parallelism with titles and last names, it's so hard for me to call her "Mrs. Said". Stacy Said was the first face I saw on campus at Ball State. I was participating in the Accelerate Program to kick off the school year, and she was the staff coordinator for the event. She talked about all these leadership opportunities on campus, and I was one who loved to overextend herself by participating in as many things as possible! Stacy advised me from my very first step on campus, first as a representative in the Residence Hall Association, and from then on in every other leadership role I had on campus (and there were several). I didn't realize how big of an impact she had on me being a leader until she moved before my senior year...and she was just no longer there.

Dr. Gilman at Ball State was the first professor I had who I thought was a mad genius. If anyone were to actually have the French language MASTERED, it would be him. He and I connected because he instantly saw my enjoyment for French grammar. Even though I took his composition class before his grammar class, he saw it in me, sought me out, and led me down his path of genius. When I did eventually take his grammar class, on top of his normal homework he had me working on text translations, in case I decided teaching wasn't for me and I wanted to become a mad genius like him. He seriously had a good ten years of my life mapped out if that's the path I decided to take.

Mr. Cooper wasn't a traditional teacher I had, mostly because he was the general manager at the movie theater where I spent my summers in between college semesters. However, he is the first person to actually take the time and teach me how to lead. I was just a floor staff member when he became general manager, and he took the time to evaluate me, give me feedback, and watch me grow throughout my four and a half years there. He had me as a trainer, supervisor, lead supervisor, and then I became an assistant manager just under a year ago. He took the time to invest in me, and that type of education is something that I couldn't learn from a classroom. Even though I no longer work at the theater, his lessons find themselves with me in my classroom.

Last but not least, is probably the mentor I talk about the most. Dr. Stallings is so much more than a university professor these days. She's a colleague, a mentor, a confidant, and a friend. She is the direct reason why I am exactly where I am today. Besides her astounding knowledge of language, she showed me a whole new world of passion with working with English Language Learners. I owe her so much when it comes to my teaching path and career. She is magic. I hope our paths cross in the future and we're able to work together once again.

There are so many others who impacted my life and my decisions as to who I am today. Obviously I would not be where I am without everyone, but these individuals stand out to me, even though some of our contact was over a decade (almost two!) for some. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I will always appreciate what you have done for me.

Frustration Venting

Can I just say that it is extremely frustrating to be the only teacher in the entire building that has four preps?

For those of you not familiar with teacher lingo, preps do not refer to prep periods but rather the different courses that a teacher teaches in one day. If you only teach 8th grade science, you have one prep. Me, I teach French 7, French 8, ENL Beginner and ENL Intermediate. All in one day. 

Don't get me wrong, I've probably go insane if I taught the same class six periods in one day. But being a new teacher and having the biggest workload is getting to me more than I'd ever dare let on. I'm supposed to be an expert in not one but two different fields with two separate levels. I can talk about my expertise until I'm blue on the face, but to be teaching French only to have an administrator come in saying we have a newcomer with no English that needs help in a class...to teaching English and having an administrator come in with a Native Frenchman wondering if he can sit in on my classes...not to mention the typical popping in to see how I'm doing teaching my lessons because evaluations will start in two months and those decide my future as a teacher...

Part of me is waiting for someone to tell me they think I'm struggling and I'll just explode asking if they could handle cramming everything I do into one day. Or sometimes my facilitator wants to talk about lesson plans three weeks down the road because we have new standards so we have to make a new curriculum and I know where he's coming from and he doesn't have the background to make all these decisions but I'm dealing with exactly the same issue with new French books, new French teacher, and loss of parallelism between last years curriculum and the high school curriculum. 

...I'm legitimately on my own. No one else does what I do and certainly not to the extent. I know it will get easier with time but I'm hoping I make it long enough to actually feel like I'm doing more than just surviving. 

Crossing the Starting Line and Taking Those First Steps

I really am sorry for the lack of posts these past couple of months. I hate to say that I've been too busy, but I truly have been. It has been a marathon of running around since I started teaching and I'm still waiting for that one moment where I can take a second to breathe. Still hasn't happened yet...

Going back to when I last posted, I actually no longer work at the movie theater. The team I joined and grew to love started falling apart by people leaving (moving on up so I can't complain, but it's still sad) and not feeling as comfortable with those that replaced them. While I do identify as an extrovert, I definitely do not get along with everyone. I went to the general manager and told him how I was feeling, and I was able to leave on extremely good terms.

Up until about three days before the first day of school for my township, I was prepared to teach ENL to high schoolers. Of course that's just too easy of a job so I got a call from the assistant super intendent asking if I'd be alright switching to teaching half French half ENL at the middle school. He also said that both principals had already approved, of course implying that I'd look like a total ass if I said no. Not to mention he said the French program would turn into an online program if I didn't say yes. So with absolutely no pressure at all (sarcasm) I traded in my falcons for the mighty mustangs. And of course with three days until students arrive, I was scrambling to get everything into my new classroom and set up for the students. There were definitely some days where I came to the school, left for a meeting, and then came BACK to the school because if I left for the day I'd be so behind. There's part of me that feels like I still need to come in on Saturdays just to try and get SOMETHING finished.

Despite the rocky start, the school year has actually been pretty darn fantastic so far. I've finally gotten to meet the teaching whom I'm replacing, along with gather some insight on this school, I feel a little on my own because the way the school has me and my schedule, I'm the only actual ENL teacher. There's one teacher that works with ENL students in a small learning community, but there are native students in there as well and she does not focus on the ENL WIDA standards. There's also a facilitator, who is a licensed teacher but not actually trained or versed in ENL. Basically he's looking for a social studies teaching job and this is his foot in the door for the district. Can I blame him? Absolutely not, that's where I was last year...but at least I had the ENL license when I was in that position. But anyway, the school talks about how we have more EL students this year than ever before, but yet the main EL teacher (me) is only teaching three periods a day...with a total of 26 students (I'll give you a hint, there are more than 100 in this school alone...) I'm not sure if they're utilizing our staff to the best of their ability.

I'm still wrapping me head around this being a permanent job. I don't know if it's because every other teaching experience has been sectioned off into pretty little amounts (8 weeks here, 12 there, 16 there, etc) and this basically is exactly what I make of it. It's kind of powerful. It makes me want to move again (even though I've had more than my fair share of moving in the past year) and be closer to the township and learn how to be part of this community.

I was telling all of this to Rachel, and she made the comment that I've started the rest of my life. It took me a moment to understand what she meant by that, because I feel no different today than I did last week than I did four months ago than I did a year ago. I'm still just going along doing what I need to do to be successful. But she's right. I've graduated college and obtained a job in LITERALLY the definition of my degree. I've moved out of my parents house and am paying for my own place of residency. I pay for insurance, utilities, rent, food, my own activities...I'm at that point of my life where the gun has sounded, and I've started racing down the track of life.

On one hand I hate that it's true. I feel like I'm always going to be reaching for that next achievement...whatever it may be. Grad school, buying a house, getting married, promotions, etc and so forth because I'm sure if I'll ever get used to the race, even if I stay exactly where I am for the next five years. The race is still going on and I'm in it...I'm just getting used to it still.

The rest of my life has started. I am 100% officially an adult. Who did this? Who let this happen?

I'm THAT Girl

All throughout my schooling career, I've not enjoyed Social Studies/History classes. I have little to no interest in the subject, and I find it hard to concentrate and pay attention and retain the information necessary to do well in those courses. My sister doesn't get it because she actually likes those sort of things (but I mean come on her favorite season is winter so what does that tell you about her lol). Anyway, this would typically confound my friends and classmates because even though I didn't like it and would complain about it often, that didn't mean I was bad in those classes.

I remember my 12th grade year I took regular Government rather than We The People/AP Government and a lot of my friends questioned my decision. Having multiple reasons, such as being in France for two months would make it hard to find American news articles as well as there were some people in that class I wasn't too fond of, the main reason was it was my senior year and I didn't want it to be spoiled by being in an honors class that not only did I not enjoy but didn't care about. So I took regular government, and it was seriously the easiest class in the world. But you better bet I complained about it. It was one of those classes where you're sitting in the back of the room reading and the teacher thinks they're being smart and calling on you to show how you weren't paying attention but then you bust out the right answer and the teacher hangs their mouth and you just sigh from being bored...

My favorite part about that class was when it was over and report cards came, my mom wanted to lecture me so badly about getting a C on the final. The thing was, I had such a high A from doing NOTHING in that class yet still succeeding, that the C legitimately changed nothing in my grade.

Anyway, the point of this anecdote is that I have found a similar situation in my adult life. At the movie theater, there are two main closing duties: Counting all the cash flow throughout the day and dealing with nightly paperwork, and counting our stock inventory and making sure it matches what the computer says we should have on hand. Most nights, each manager picks one of the tasks and that's what they focus on all night. If you're really good, both managers can get done relatively at the same time. However, more times than not, inventory takes longer than cash.

If I am given my choice and the other managers legitimately want me to chose, I will always choose cash. I've been doing it longer and the administrative side of me prefers working with those numbers and paperwork, and I have a pretty flawless system were everything gets done orderly and efficiently. However, there are some times where I get cornered into doing inventory, and each time I basically make it known how much I don't like doing it. I don't like feeling secluded and uninvolved and being behind the concession stand while all the other managers are in the lobby makes me feel just that.

Only here's the thing: I'm actually quite good at inventory. As in, I did it on Tuesday for the first time in over a month (and we do this nightly) and I finished BEFORE the cash manager did (which really only ever happens if someone completely messed up their cash, and that night that was not the case). However it was a Tuesday which is one of our slower days, so it might have been just a fluke. However, I also did it tonight, on a Saturday, which has the most likely of all the days for there to be gross errors in inventory. The previous night the manager who had done it spent over an hour REcounting EVERYTHING because he was so off and basically had to end the day with a loss of a great amount of product and money. I was preparing for a similar night (because typically things don't disappear and then reappear for counting) but as I entered my numbers into the computer and saw the results, everything was exactly as it should have been. Not only was my FIRST set of counts in the great range, but I was done before any of the other managers,  including over an hour before cash was done.

BUT EVEN KNOWING THIS! Knowing that I have a system that works extremely well and can do it in a time efficient manner...I'll still complain about it and I'll still pick cash over inventory every time.

The Best Thing Ever Introduced to Public School Lunches

My parents did not give me school lunch money after 7th grade. I was responsible for either packing my own lunch, using my own money to buy school lunch, or going without for the day. I usually packed my lunch, but there was one item that you always had to get if they were serving, especially since they were only around once a month:

PEANUT. BUTTER. BARS.

You see the lunch lady bring out a tray of these and the Gods are smiling down on you. You try and get the best piece available but know that no matter what piece you get is going to be the upmost delicious thing you've had in a month. You savor it, and wish they would come more often.

As a fellow baker, I've looked for copycat recipes and tried my own concoctions to recreate this beloved childhood favorite. I've had some that are not even close...some that were close but not close enough, and then this one. And...I've found it.

I believe this is the third recipe I tried. The simplicity of it makes me wonder where I could have gone wrong in the previous ones, but the taste test holds true: They taste exactly the same.

I found this recipe on Pinterest. She claimed that they tasted like Reese's Cups...but obviously she either had not tasted the actual peanut butter bars, or she was mixing up childhood memories. Either way, I saw everything and decided to give it a try. I have made only a few tweaks, but this recipe is pretty darn close.

Ingredients

1 cup butter melted

2 cups graham cracker crumbs (use the boxed kind, or grind them in a food processor. Tiny granules.)

2 cups confectioners’ (powdered) sugar

1 cup peanut butter

For the Frosting
1/2 cup peanut butter chips

1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

peanut butter to taste

Some notes about the ingredients:

-Definitely make sure you use actual BUTTER. Using margarine will not yield the same delicious results (Will probably not hold/set as well).

-I used the Keebler boxed graham cracker crumbs. At first I thought they weren't fine enough, but they are actually quite perfect. I also had another 1/4 cup of the crumbs set aside to help the consistency of the peanut butter part.

-Water displacement is your friend

-I used Toll House Semisweet chocolate chips, Reese's Peanut Butter Chips, and Peter Pan peanut butter.

Directions

In a medium bowl, mix together the melted butter, graham cracker crumbs, confectioners’ sugar, and 1 cup peanut butter until well blended. Press evenly into the bottom of an ungreased 9×13 inch pan. In a metal bowl over simmering water, or in the microwave, melt the chocolate and peanut butter chips, stirring occasionally until smooth. Add peanut butter as desired. Spread over the peanut butter layer. Refrigerate for at least one hour before cutting into squares.

Some notes on the directions:

-Please feel free to use a fork, there's no need to whip out the electric mixer for this.

-You want the concoction to be completely mixed, however be able to pick up with hand and mold without leaving a complete mess. Like you could roll in a ball and make chunky peanut butter cookies. This is where the 1/4 cup of graham cracker crumbs will come in handy if it's too wet.

-I used a 9x9 glass Pyrex pan. These ratios fit fine without it being too full or thick.

-The frosting is what I changed most from the recipe. I think the original recipe's chocolate made it more like Reese's Cups, but this is closer to what the schools had. If you're using the double boiler to melt the chocolate...congratulations, you're an overachiever. I put the chips in another Pyrex bowl and microwaved them in 30 second increments, stirring after each time (I've burnt chocolate in the microwave enough times not to do more than that). I believe I ended up adding about a tablespoon of peanut butter after that. You want the bitterness of the semi-sweet chocolate to be cut by the peanut butter. It should be a nice light brown color when you're done.

I waited the hour (longest hour of my LIFE) and cut the squares. The taste test was definitely worth the wait. I was surprised how spot on things were! If there was ever a moment of life achievement, that was it. I proceeded to share with my sister and a coworker, who were also crying with delight that was the heavens in their mouths.

As you can see, they're almost gone. After less than 24 hours. Luckily my aversion to chocolate doesn't have me eating a lot, but my sister on the other hand...

Accommodations

The big thing these days is to see what substitutions you can get away with. This is going to have to be someone else's experiment, because I am absolutely terrible at substitutions going successfully. But this is by no means healthy for you (except for letting your childhood rest in peace of course). I mean, two cups of powdered sugar...because that's healthy. However, things I'm wondering:

-What can we use instead of butter? I'm curious how Greek Yogurt or Applesauce would affect the results.

-Would the more natural/healthy nut butters (almond butter for example) give a similar if not better result?

-What about finely processed granola? Or oats?


I do like how easy the ratios are for the current recipe. This could probably very easily be converted into a one serving thing to ease the guilt in our consciences (like a microwave mug minus the microwaving). But if you were making these for a larger crowd it would be simple to convert.

I'd love to hear about any success stories! Let me know if your taste buds have been saved as mine have :)

Oops

Obligatory post so that I don't miss a month.

I have I think three blog drafts. One is extremely personal so it's taking forever to get the right feeling to post. Another is very very personal to the point of I doubt I'll ever post, and the third is one I started when I was half asleep and just haven't gotten around to finishing. Some updates:

Rachel came to live with me this summer

I am staying at Perry Meridian High School to teach ENL

My roommate got a dog that I continuously have a love-hate relationship with

My quest to eliminate all dangling prepositions from my written and spoken language is not succeeding

Rest in Peace, Dave Thornton

Quiet hallways scare me. Having passing period come and go with so little chatter is disturbing. These are high schoolers, and their lives have been affected in ways very few know how to be prepared.

The class across from me is always buzzing. Today I can barely hear the teacher.

There were going to be humorous presentations, now instead there are crosswords, study halls, and word of another teacher fighting cancer.

He was in the school teaching last week. LAST WEEK. He wanted more than anything to make it until the AP Calculus test and be there for his students until then. He did. He made it. But he paid for it, because he left the school early that day, driven by another teacher, because he was malnourished and dehydrated.

The cancer took advantage of his big heart and shredded it to pieces.

I see several math teachers throughout the day. It hurts that all I can ask is "how are you holding up" knowing that they have it so much worse than I do. They *knew* him. They worked with him. They LOVED him.

He was incredibly involved in the school. While we only exchanged smiles in the hallway a few times, I knew who he was because of the impact he had on the school. He was the wrestling coach. He tutored after school. He climbed mountains. He ran half-marathons. He had more teacher awards from students than could be counted.

Quiet hallways scare me. All anyone ever said was "if anyone should be able to beat this, it's him." While I'm sure this is a common phrase among most victims, I truly believe this to the core. He fought it for four years. He showed strength in times of weakness, and hope in times of helplessness. He was in school last week. He found out his liver was failing last night. He died hours later. It all happened so fast... Screaming...and then silence.

I donated today. even though everything is final, I had to reach out somehow. He had only been married for seven years. He had two daughters, 4 and 6 years old. He left behind a family of falcons that have so much respect for him, they are silent in the hallways. I had to do something. I had to do something.

It is easier, for me, to support rather than mourn. I will continue to ask how the math teachers are doing and will continue to hope that the silence turns from something scary to something beautiful.

Dave Thornton, you will be forever loved, forever missed, and forever remembered. God bless.