Question

I honestly have no idea how to phrase any of the thoughts in my head right now.

Is it possible for emotional pain to be worth it? Can that pain lead you to happiness? Is that happiness real or is it just something to make you forget the pain?

Say you're in a relationship and your significant other cheats on you. If you forgive them and continue with the relationship, is it possible to be happy in that relationship again? Is it possible for that happiness to be real? Is it possible for that one indiscretion to become water under the bridge and no longer be an issue? Would it come up in other fights? First you're arguing about not having enough money and the next thing you know you're bringing up the fact that he/she cheated. Would that happen?

Of course each relationship is different and each couple is different so what might work out for one might not work out for another. There's the expression "No guy is worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry". That brings in another whole set of questions: Where is the line between reality and lowering your standards? He made me cry, should I accept that every guy at some point will, or should I hold out for the one that honestly doesn't?

I think the reason these questions are in my head because I feel ready for a relationship again. It's hard to admit, because there are still parts of me that are guarded. I feel wrong to feel ready for a relationship again. I feel like I keep on having an internal battle between what I want vs society; what I want vs family outlooks, what I want vs perception. I've always said that I know I've found the one when my own conviction is louder than society's, my family's, or any outside perception's. But then again, when stating that, does it look like I'm doing things out of spite? Should I care if that's what it looks like? Is that what it truly is?

For some crazy reason I feel like I'm going to tell someone that I want to be in a relationship and they're just going to flat out tell me no, I can't. Now does that mean that I'm afraid of what people will think? Is that my conscience telling me unconsciously that I'm not ready?

We're taught when we're younger not to judge a book by it's cover. I hope as adults this concept can still hold true.