Plain and simple: DON'T DO IT!
As an outsider, you do not have the authority to tell people what to do, how to do it, or whether to do it or not.
But man, will that keep you from trying? Nope.
You see, everything that you, yourself, do is right. Even if you regret it, change it, or admit that you were wrong, you were still right. Because even if you made a mistake you went about it in a way that made things right...therefore you're still right.
Therefore, if you see someone doing something differently--taking a different path or avoiding it all together--they're wrong. Why? Because they didn't do what you did, which was right.
Example: My roommate last year had to go to a concert for her music history class. It just so happened that it was a concert that I was performing in, so I had to be there, too. Now because I was in this concert, I had a CD of all of the songs we were performing so that I could practice at home. I had been practicing for this concert for the majority of the semester, so by the time the concert actually rolled around, I was pretty sick of the practices and was complaining where sympathetic ears could be found...ie my roommate. I didn't think it was a big thing because she had to go for her class and I had to go because it was my concert...so it's not like she couldn't just skip it or anything...right?
Heh...wrong! You see, there was a movie showing that night that she wanted to see, so she decided to tell me only hours before the concert that she was only going to go for the first third of the concert and skip the rest so she could see this movie. THEN she was going to use my CD and what I told her about the concert in order to write the paper she had to turn in for her class.
I was livid. I felt not only used but betrayed. But of course I couldn't make her do the right thing or change her mind. So of course I decided to take matters into my own hands and take her tickets that I had gotten her for free, so that she could take a friend with her if she wanted, forcing her to go alone in a worse spot. And I wrote her a note that pretty much showed how angry I was.
But even after that she didn't stay for the whole thing. She left after the first third of the concert, used the CD to fill in the blanks, and got an A on her paper. There's no sure fire way of knowing if she learned anything or not.
But is it my job to make sure that she learned something or not? Nope. It is in no way my role to mother her or make sure she was "taught" anything.
"There are two choices in life: Acceptance and Change. If you can't accept something, then change it. If you can't change it, then accept it."
Nowhere in that quote is "feel free to hold a grudge for as long as you need to".
Don't support bad decisions, but don't discriminate them for choosing their own path.
