So I know this is almost two months too late, but election night, a few friends and I came up with a list of reasons why Obama was taking so long to arrive and give his acceptance speech. Considering that I still can't remember what my awesome blog post is supposed to be about, I thought I'd use this as a filler. It's pretty hilarious, so you should still enjoy it :D
Why Obama Was Late to His Speech (compiled by Emma, Zack, and Andrew)
-He wanted a Big Mac
-He was kidnapped by libertarians
-Secret service had to pee
-Victory sex
-Flat tire
-Fell asleep
-Kids didn't finish their supper
-Escorted by entire White Sox team
-Refused to ask for directions
-Escorted by entire Blackhawks team (because they had nothing better to do since the lockout)
-Someone tied his shoes together
-Couldn't find his wallet
-Was stuck in a tie playing Rock Paper Scissors with Biden
-Got mustard on his suit jacket, had to go back and change
-Complaining about receding hair line
-Was ordering a bigger American flag pin
-Was working on a high score on Angry Birds
-"Getting his hair did"
-Finding a tie that was blue, but not too blue
-Had to wait for the song "I'm blue" to finish playing in the limo before he exited
-Apple Maps got him lost
-Had to finish the Election Day drinking game
-Couldn't get off the phone with a relative
And last but certainly not least:
-Checked the mirror too many times while saying "Looking good, Mr. President"
Friday, December 28, 2012
#thatmomentwhen
you come up with a really awesome blog post idea, plan it all out in your head, and then wake up the next morning, forget everything, and then contemplate if you actually had an idea or just dreamed it.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Gotta Love Culture Today
We're studying Robert Sternberg in my teaching practicum courses, and we've been studying him for the past two/three weeks now (he's pretty big in differentiation which is a pretty big part of teaching today). But each time, without fail, whenever my professor mentions his name the first thing in my head is:
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Everything Went Better Than Expected!
Barack Obama got reelected and beat Mitt Romney for president!
Glenda Ritz beat Tony Bennett for the Indiana State Superintendent!
Joe Donnelley beat Richard Murdock in the Senate Race!
And Ball State won against Toledo football 34-27!
Everything went better than expected and I cannot stop smiling. Faith in humanity has been restored :)
Glenda Ritz beat Tony Bennett for the Indiana State Superintendent!
Joe Donnelley beat Richard Murdock in the Senate Race!
And Ball State won against Toledo football 34-27!
Everything went better than expected and I cannot stop smiling. Faith in humanity has been restored :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Don't Read: Conceited Moments
I love that I have a passion for education. I know that's weird to say, but I truly enjoy being passionate about a field that is so diverse and so topical these days.
I have a professor who today told me "I love what you bring to the class; there are so many students who don't even think to ask questions like that or look at situations from that angle". We were talking about discipline in the classroom and how easy students these days have access to information literally at their fingertips without having to be near a computer.
I definitely have to say being in this participation/practicum phase of the education program has definitely opened my eyes to a lot of things that go on in the classroom. Earlier in the program I resented having to observe so much because it was so teacher-based. This semester, I observe the classrooms about once a week and participate/teach twice a week (I only go into the classrooms three times a week). The one thing I like about observing this time around is I can watch the students, and watching the students is definitely changing my outlook on discipline in the classroom and classroom management in general.
We have been listening to presentations in one of my courses where each student did a case study in a classroom that included three observations and an interview with a teacher. Each presentation I have seen I have had questions regarding discipline, classroom management, and administrative roles in the schools. I understand that there are so many outside factors that come into play with a teacher and his/her teaching styles, but some of them I just want to go up and ask "Why in the world did you decide to do that?"
Sometimes I can't believe how much I actually know about education. I was talking to a friend earlier about how people can be 20-some years old and still speak like "He don't know blah blah blah". I got all into language acquisition theory and how people learn when they're younger and I remember thinking "I seriously remember this stuff?"
I'm also reflecting on INTASC (Interstate New Teacher Assessment and Support Consortium) principles for my digital teaching portfolio review (click here for the link) and each principle has things that I actually remember learning in my content classrooms and I'm like "WHY do I remember these things? I mean, I'm glad I do, but I don't remember specifically trying to remember these concepts."
Crazy right? I mean, I shouldn't be complaining or anything, and retaining this information has been more than helpful with not only my education program but also conversations with teaching professionals, administrators, and proving points in discussions with friends.
Good golly is Ball State onto something? Are they preaching conceptual understanding and actually successful at it? Because I swear I'm not consciously trying to retain half the information I'm able to produce, yet here it is!
Of course this makes me sound like a terrible person. I love teaching. I love learning about teaching. I suppose that's why I'm able to retain all this information; it's something I am passionate about and my brain realizes that I might like to use it later in life. I'm not becoming a teacher as a fall back job, or an alternative to putting myself out there in a different field; I've wanted to become a teacher for the past 12 years. For all intents and purposes, I could have come to college, started taking education classes, and hated them. But I didn't. And that's why I'm here today.
I think I'm cut out to become a teacher. I even think I'm cut out to become an administrator (although I'm not looking forward to being in school anymore haha). I honestly think I could become a principal that the school benefits from rather than one who is just a puppet for a higher up or has very little regard for the teachers and students. If nothing else, this undergraduate experience has shown me what I'm capable of without even trying to be.
This isn't just analyzing my thought process or conversations I've had with professors or teachers. This was reflected on an assignment I turned into my practicum teacher (by far my strictest grader this semester). It was an assignment over assessment and evaluation, and in complete all honesty it was an assignment that I through together very haphazardly, to the point where I probably couldn't recreate my process if I tried. Even reflecting on the assignment, I remember starting at a very awkward place and working in and out of that place, rather than beginning to end or even end to beginning. It was sort of working in the middle and going in both directions until I reached one end point.
With that being said, I got an A on the assignment, was in the highest category on the rubric, and was told that it was a "strong response to the assessment and evaluation assignment. It looks aligned in terms of difficulty and scope of what’s being measured."
...I'm sorry what? I mean, I'm not complaining but...are you sure?
I'm sure my mother is going to have a cow when she reads this. See, if I had put more time and effort into it, I could probably get a higher A or at least think that I deserved the grade that I got.
Or maybe this is my key actually. Looking back at the previous two stages of the education program, I had always gotten "basic" or "proficient" on my reflections, philosophy, and artifacts. Maybe being haphazard and letting my unconscious knowledge take over is what I need to finally reach the distinguished level. I mean, I'm only halfway done with my reflections, but they look a lot different than my first two sets, and those I made with the standards right in front of me. I've looked at the standard maybe once and have just been going with it.
I wonder if my mother will have a cow with that, too.
What was I talking about? I have no idea what this blog post is about. Sorry for the stream of consciousness!
But yeah...teaching...gotta love it. I do, at least! Oh and mom don't kill me :P
I have a professor who today told me "I love what you bring to the class; there are so many students who don't even think to ask questions like that or look at situations from that angle". We were talking about discipline in the classroom and how easy students these days have access to information literally at their fingertips without having to be near a computer.
I definitely have to say being in this participation/practicum phase of the education program has definitely opened my eyes to a lot of things that go on in the classroom. Earlier in the program I resented having to observe so much because it was so teacher-based. This semester, I observe the classrooms about once a week and participate/teach twice a week (I only go into the classrooms three times a week). The one thing I like about observing this time around is I can watch the students, and watching the students is definitely changing my outlook on discipline in the classroom and classroom management in general.
We have been listening to presentations in one of my courses where each student did a case study in a classroom that included three observations and an interview with a teacher. Each presentation I have seen I have had questions regarding discipline, classroom management, and administrative roles in the schools. I understand that there are so many outside factors that come into play with a teacher and his/her teaching styles, but some of them I just want to go up and ask "Why in the world did you decide to do that?"
Sometimes I can't believe how much I actually know about education. I was talking to a friend earlier about how people can be 20-some years old and still speak like "He don't know blah blah blah". I got all into language acquisition theory and how people learn when they're younger and I remember thinking "I seriously remember this stuff?"
I'm also reflecting on INTASC (Interstate New Teacher Assessment and Support Consortium) principles for my digital teaching portfolio review (click here for the link) and each principle has things that I actually remember learning in my content classrooms and I'm like "WHY do I remember these things? I mean, I'm glad I do, but I don't remember specifically trying to remember these concepts."
Crazy right? I mean, I shouldn't be complaining or anything, and retaining this information has been more than helpful with not only my education program but also conversations with teaching professionals, administrators, and proving points in discussions with friends.
Good golly is Ball State onto something? Are they preaching conceptual understanding and actually successful at it? Because I swear I'm not consciously trying to retain half the information I'm able to produce, yet here it is!
Of course this makes me sound like a terrible person. I love teaching. I love learning about teaching. I suppose that's why I'm able to retain all this information; it's something I am passionate about and my brain realizes that I might like to use it later in life. I'm not becoming a teacher as a fall back job, or an alternative to putting myself out there in a different field; I've wanted to become a teacher for the past 12 years. For all intents and purposes, I could have come to college, started taking education classes, and hated them. But I didn't. And that's why I'm here today.
I think I'm cut out to become a teacher. I even think I'm cut out to become an administrator (although I'm not looking forward to being in school anymore haha). I honestly think I could become a principal that the school benefits from rather than one who is just a puppet for a higher up or has very little regard for the teachers and students. If nothing else, this undergraduate experience has shown me what I'm capable of without even trying to be.
This isn't just analyzing my thought process or conversations I've had with professors or teachers. This was reflected on an assignment I turned into my practicum teacher (by far my strictest grader this semester). It was an assignment over assessment and evaluation, and in complete all honesty it was an assignment that I through together very haphazardly, to the point where I probably couldn't recreate my process if I tried. Even reflecting on the assignment, I remember starting at a very awkward place and working in and out of that place, rather than beginning to end or even end to beginning. It was sort of working in the middle and going in both directions until I reached one end point.
With that being said, I got an A on the assignment, was in the highest category on the rubric, and was told that it was a "strong response to the assessment and evaluation assignment. It looks aligned in terms of difficulty and scope of what’s being measured."
...I'm sorry what? I mean, I'm not complaining but...are you sure?
I'm sure my mother is going to have a cow when she reads this. See, if I had put more time and effort into it, I could probably get a higher A or at least think that I deserved the grade that I got.
Or maybe this is my key actually. Looking back at the previous two stages of the education program, I had always gotten "basic" or "proficient" on my reflections, philosophy, and artifacts. Maybe being haphazard and letting my unconscious knowledge take over is what I need to finally reach the distinguished level. I mean, I'm only halfway done with my reflections, but they look a lot different than my first two sets, and those I made with the standards right in front of me. I've looked at the standard maybe once and have just been going with it.
I wonder if my mother will have a cow with that, too.
What was I talking about? I have no idea what this blog post is about. Sorry for the stream of consciousness!
But yeah...teaching...gotta love it. I do, at least! Oh and mom don't kill me :P
Sunday, November 4, 2012
I Have to Say
I am friends with a lot of educators, education administrators, and preservice educators. These educators teach very different age groups, subject matters, standards, lessons, and of course, students. These educators have very differing opinions on the Teacher's Union, tenure, philosophies of teaching, "best" practices in the classroom, importance on physical education, political alliances, religious affiliations, and a number of other things.
What I'm trying to get across is that there is very little linking each and every one of educators together, besides the fact that they are educators.
With elections coming up in two days, I have seen one thing that does link these educators together: None of them support Dr. Tony Bennett in his reelection as the Indiana State Superintendent.
Which gets me thinking: The general public get to vote for the State Superintendent, but the vast majority of them are not affected by his term. Since that is the case, I feel it would make more sense to look at my local educators who WILL be DIRECTLY affected by the person in this position. This position is more than just Tony Bennett being a republican and Glenda Ritz being a democrat. Looking at this diverse pool of educators and not one support for the Republican candidate, even when some of them do not associate with the Democratic Party, I'm starting to wonder what kind of support Dr. Bennett does have to keep him in the running.
Of course, Dr. Bennett's support is almost 100% business and politics. Now, I understand why someone in this position would have to play nice with the business owner and politicians because this position is truly a liaison between them and the educators. But if your bridge is completely severed on one side, what hope do you have to be a successful liaison?
Yes, I'm an education major so I am more aware and opinionated than the average citizen. Yes, I am a democrat so I am more likely to have issues with the republican government that has controlled Indiana for the past several years. My point? IT'S NOT JUST ME WHO THINKS TONY BENNETT SHOULD BE OUT OF OFFICE. Get informed. Talk to a friend you have in the education system. Do your own research. Think about what kind of education you want your kids to get and see which candidate's platform aligns with that. DON'T JUST GO WITH WHAT PARTY YOU ASSOCIATE WITH.
And if you ask me and/or anyone else I know, you'll see that Glenda Ritz is the right candidate for this position.
I'm just hoping ignorance does not get the best of this race and our education system will have a chance to turn around again.
What I'm trying to get across is that there is very little linking each and every one of educators together, besides the fact that they are educators.
With elections coming up in two days, I have seen one thing that does link these educators together: None of them support Dr. Tony Bennett in his reelection as the Indiana State Superintendent.
Which gets me thinking: The general public get to vote for the State Superintendent, but the vast majority of them are not affected by his term. Since that is the case, I feel it would make more sense to look at my local educators who WILL be DIRECTLY affected by the person in this position. This position is more than just Tony Bennett being a republican and Glenda Ritz being a democrat. Looking at this diverse pool of educators and not one support for the Republican candidate, even when some of them do not associate with the Democratic Party, I'm starting to wonder what kind of support Dr. Bennett does have to keep him in the running.
Of course, Dr. Bennett's support is almost 100% business and politics. Now, I understand why someone in this position would have to play nice with the business owner and politicians because this position is truly a liaison between them and the educators. But if your bridge is completely severed on one side, what hope do you have to be a successful liaison?
Yes, I'm an education major so I am more aware and opinionated than the average citizen. Yes, I am a democrat so I am more likely to have issues with the republican government that has controlled Indiana for the past several years. My point? IT'S NOT JUST ME WHO THINKS TONY BENNETT SHOULD BE OUT OF OFFICE. Get informed. Talk to a friend you have in the education system. Do your own research. Think about what kind of education you want your kids to get and see which candidate's platform aligns with that. DON'T JUST GO WITH WHAT PARTY YOU ASSOCIATE WITH.
And if you ask me and/or anyone else I know, you'll see that Glenda Ritz is the right candidate for this position.
I'm just hoping ignorance does not get the best of this race and our education system will have a chance to turn around again.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
A Break from Politics,
But something that I find equally as annoying.
On Twitter the other day I posted a tweet about how embarrassed I was with myself for questioning my own usage of "then" vs "than". There are some times where I literally have to stop and think about which rule applies. Of course it is even more annoying when I read something and I can tell that someone has made the error, why is it so hard for me to not see it so obviously in myself?
One thing that I have always prided myself in is the ability to trust my ear when I'm not sure which form to use. I remember taking AP Literature my senior year of high school and being told that it's becoming harder and harder to do so because of the atrocious butchering of what most consider "standard" English. Even though I have taken a more descriptive approach at our grammar system, as a future educator I want to be able to model what kind of language I want to see from my students in the classroom.
I understand that I have studied more language than the average American ever will in his or her life, but I don't attribute my ability to remember which forms of "there/they're/their" to my extensive studies. My extensive studies have just provided me with an answer as to WHY I don't struggle making the distinction.
I pronounce each of the forms slightly different. In the case of "there/they're/their", it's a matter of how much of a diphthong I put on the vowel sounds. "There" has essentially no diphthong, "their" has more of one, and "they're" almost is like making the word two syllables with "they-re". It's these tiny distinctions that I am able to know which one I am wanting to use in my sentences.
With that being said, this explains why I struggle with my "then/than"s. When I say the sentence either in my head or out loud, I find I have the most trouble knowing which form to use when I can't distinguish what vowel sound I just made. They are starting to sound very similar in my head and to my ear, and it's messing with my written language.
And that pisses me off! haha
I know if I look at vowel sound shift, I can see that in today's accepted pronunciations, the two sounds are becoming more and more alike, and part of me wouldn't be surprised if in 50 years the two words become more or less synonymous. Which would be sad, but not too surprising. I also know that the -en and -an sounds in French are extremely similar, where they are often given the same symbol in IPA.
So I can rationalize why I do what I do, but it doesn't make me feel any better for doing it :P
On Twitter the other day I posted a tweet about how embarrassed I was with myself for questioning my own usage of "then" vs "than". There are some times where I literally have to stop and think about which rule applies. Of course it is even more annoying when I read something and I can tell that someone has made the error, why is it so hard for me to not see it so obviously in myself?
One thing that I have always prided myself in is the ability to trust my ear when I'm not sure which form to use. I remember taking AP Literature my senior year of high school and being told that it's becoming harder and harder to do so because of the atrocious butchering of what most consider "standard" English. Even though I have taken a more descriptive approach at our grammar system, as a future educator I want to be able to model what kind of language I want to see from my students in the classroom.
I understand that I have studied more language than the average American ever will in his or her life, but I don't attribute my ability to remember which forms of "there/they're/their" to my extensive studies. My extensive studies have just provided me with an answer as to WHY I don't struggle making the distinction.
I pronounce each of the forms slightly different. In the case of "there/they're/their", it's a matter of how much of a diphthong I put on the vowel sounds. "There" has essentially no diphthong, "their" has more of one, and "they're" almost is like making the word two syllables with "they-re". It's these tiny distinctions that I am able to know which one I am wanting to use in my sentences.
With that being said, this explains why I struggle with my "then/than"s. When I say the sentence either in my head or out loud, I find I have the most trouble knowing which form to use when I can't distinguish what vowel sound I just made. They are starting to sound very similar in my head and to my ear, and it's messing with my written language.
And that pisses me off! haha
I know if I look at vowel sound shift, I can see that in today's accepted pronunciations, the two sounds are becoming more and more alike, and part of me wouldn't be surprised if in 50 years the two words become more or less synonymous. Which would be sad, but not too surprising. I also know that the -en and -an sounds in French are extremely similar, where they are often given the same symbol in IPA.
So I can rationalize why I do what I do, but it doesn't make me feel any better for doing it :P
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Politics These Days...
There are two issues that are still being argued in politics today that I really just don't understand. I don't understand how abortion laws and legalizing gay marriage are still being debated today.
Abortion: Please tell me how my decision specifically affects your life. It doesn't agree with your religion? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that not only was your religion the only religion but I followed it..oh wait. What's that? Oh, YOU don't agree with abortion? Well that seems like an easy solution, don't get an abortion! You think abortion should be illegal? Are you going to also tell me what baby foods to use, what diapers to use, and what schools to send my child? No? Oh, so you're just going to force me to have this child that I don't want to have and then leave me to it, gotcha. I shouldn't have been having sex in the first place? I'm an adult, my birth control failed, I was raped, I wasn't properly educated, I don't know, take your pick, but making me have a child I don't want for any of these reasons is like punishing me for a crime I didn't commit. I don't understand why so many people are so invest in a matter that does not directly effect them. How does your life change based on this decision that I may or may not make. It's funny, because the people who are pro-life also seem to be the people who are judging the quality of parenting these days. Think about the life of a child you're forcing on them if you don't allow a mother to get an abortion if she thinks she's unfit to be a parent.
Plain and simple: The MOTHER should be able to make the choice she thinks is best for her and her family. Not you, not the government, no one else.
Gay Marriage: I have yet to hear a decent argument as to why gay marriage isn't already 100% legal. Once again, if you're personally against it for whatever reason; congratulations, you don't have to get married. I thought we were beyond the times of segregation and "separate but equal". This is a matter that does not specifically affect you. And considering the monstrosities I've seen with "traditional" marriage, I don't see how same-sex marriage is any less ethical.
The most "supported" argument I've seen for both these cases is a religious argument, and I don't understand how that has backing with our government because of how much they stress "separation between church and state". Neither of these should still be an issue. Let the people who are actually affected by it decide, plain and simple, done and done.
Abortion: Please tell me how my decision specifically affects your life. It doesn't agree with your religion? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that not only was your religion the only religion but I followed it..oh wait. What's that? Oh, YOU don't agree with abortion? Well that seems like an easy solution, don't get an abortion! You think abortion should be illegal? Are you going to also tell me what baby foods to use, what diapers to use, and what schools to send my child? No? Oh, so you're just going to force me to have this child that I don't want to have and then leave me to it, gotcha. I shouldn't have been having sex in the first place? I'm an adult, my birth control failed, I was raped, I wasn't properly educated, I don't know, take your pick, but making me have a child I don't want for any of these reasons is like punishing me for a crime I didn't commit. I don't understand why so many people are so invest in a matter that does not directly effect them. How does your life change based on this decision that I may or may not make. It's funny, because the people who are pro-life also seem to be the people who are judging the quality of parenting these days. Think about the life of a child you're forcing on them if you don't allow a mother to get an abortion if she thinks she's unfit to be a parent.
Plain and simple: The MOTHER should be able to make the choice she thinks is best for her and her family. Not you, not the government, no one else.
Gay Marriage: I have yet to hear a decent argument as to why gay marriage isn't already 100% legal. Once again, if you're personally against it for whatever reason; congratulations, you don't have to get married. I thought we were beyond the times of segregation and "separate but equal". This is a matter that does not specifically affect you. And considering the monstrosities I've seen with "traditional" marriage, I don't see how same-sex marriage is any less ethical.
The most "supported" argument I've seen for both these cases is a religious argument, and I don't understand how that has backing with our government because of how much they stress "separation between church and state". Neither of these should still be an issue. Let the people who are actually affected by it decide, plain and simple, done and done.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
TAPIF 2013 APPLICATIONS ARE AVAILABLE!
I'm finally able to complete my application for the Teaching Assistantship Program in France! Do you have any idea how absolutely excited I am?!?!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Presidential Debate Live Blogging
Once the presidential debate started, I sat down with my laptop and decided to write my comments down as they came up in the debate.
I don't think Obama's hair was that gray in the last debate...
Education
Romney you are singing a different tune about loans and Pell grants than you were a month ago...I hope you don't wonder why we don't trust you.
Romney says he knows what it takes but you don't elaborate on anything!
Students who graduate from college are going to want more than manufacturing jobs. That'll lower unemployment but does not answer his question. Obama I love you but that doesn't answer his question.
Haha Obama way to pull a Miss America and tie in everything you want to convey that doesn't answer his question.
Romney you can't promise that! Twelve million jobs in four years, good luck with that.
Romney it's one thing to make a business go bankrupt and make it stronger in the end. To do that to an entire CITY who's entire revenue is in this one business...you're setting it up for failure.
WAY TO GO MODERATOR! Shut Romney up haha
Gas Prices
Has anyone thought to just turn off their mics when their two minutes is up and it's not their turn to talk? haha
Good point, Obama...this isn't just about the next four years, it's about the future of tomorrow.
Romney...energy independent...HOW. MY WORD MAN YOU HAVE THESE "IDEAS" BUT DON'T EXPLAIN ANY OF THEM. Ice cream and no classes on Mondays, anyone?
Obama don't waste your two minutes saying Romney is wrong.
Romney didn't take into consideration that our oil consumption is lower because we have better cars and more fuel efficiency in effect.
I now officially want a fact checker next to the mediator. I want someone to be able to check instantly whether what one candidate is accusing the other is right or not. BOOM. no more "he said she said"
YES FINALLY! Remember that the economy has CRASHED because of what our last Republican president did.
Romney shut up.
Sometimes I feel like Romney is going to start crying because of what Obama says haha
Taxes
Hmmm...Romney your first response sounds eerily like what Obama has been saying for the past four years and not like what you've been saying for the past month.
Once more, Romney, you're not saying HOW you're going to do ANY OF THIS!
You're doing this for people who are making less than $200,000. What if you make just over that but have a big family where the Cost of Living still puts you on the lower side? they're still getting screwed! It has to be a proportional annual income for the number of people in the family.
When Obama is debating, he says what he's doing, why he's done it, and what he wants to do, how he will do it, and WHY.
Obama's tax break is even $50,000 higher than Romney's. He's more inclusive. Win haha.
YES. ROMNEY SAID TAX CUTS VS TAX RATE CUTS.
"Governor Romney I'm sure you have a reply there"...
Romney your idea of wealthy is skewed.
TRICKLE DOWN DOESN'T WORK
Yes! Obama has pointed out that Romney can't tell you how he's going to do things! Finally!
Yes Romney, tell us how you're going to pay for 8 trillion dollars of cuts.
Obama didn't double the deficit remember what he CAME INTO! Bush didn't have a balanced budget, Obama had to allow for HIS spending!
Inequalities in the Workplace
Romney you're acting like you've done everything to qualify you for this position, but if that were true then you wouldn't be talking yourself into so many circles.
Planned Parenthood is not just for abortions. There are PP clinics that don't even do abortions. Getting rid of the entire institution will get rid of too many safety opportunities for women! Cancer screenings, contraceptives, oh and a SAFE ENVIRONMENT.
Difference between Bush and Romney
OK way to make undecided voter #1 feel like you care about her by taking half your time throwing a hissy fit. Vote for Obama!
How! HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW! Jeeze Romney take a hint!
I wonder how Bush feels if he's watching this?
This was the best question to highlight what Obama actually came into when he first got into office. You can't change all that in four years, especially when Bush had eight years to mess it all up.
Why revote for Obama?
Obama focused on his platform points from 2008 and how they've been implemented.
OBAMA YOUR TIME IS UP! HAHA
Romney, did you not just hear what Obama did? Focusing on what he didn't do doesn't accomplish anything because of course he didn't do what you're saying, because he did do what he just said he did!
Slow growing economy is not a bad thing. Making a spike growth is going to make it crash just as hard!
Immigration
Children should have a pathway to become citizens BUT NOT THEIR PARENTS?!?! And that path is through the MILITARY??? No...no no no no no...NO!
Romney made it sound like he's a second generation Hispanic...
Obama is inclusive with his immigration plans, not exclusive. As the big melting pot that we are, that's the approach that we need.
Foreign Security
Neither candidate has the right approach. The United States will always fail as a military power as long as we focus on the individual.
Ugh. No comment. You're both wrong.
Gun Control
Believe in the second amendment.
Help stop vi-o-lence...
Because criminals are totally above illegal activity...like obtaining a gun without a permit or through a black market of sorts...
Romney now thinks that two people who have a kid should marry to raise that kid to think violence is not the answer. Because if I'm not in love with someone I always have nonviolent thoughts in my head...
MARRIAGE IS NOT THE ANSWER.
MASSACHUSETTS IS NOT THE SCALE OF AMERICA! Just because it works there does not mean it'll work in the nation!
stupid...it's all stupid.
haha...moderator use Obama's words against him, nice try ;)
Job Outsourcing
I don't think anyone thinks going offshore is attractive, it's cheaper.
ROMNEY YOUR TAX PLAN IS TRICKLE DOWN BUT YOU SAY IT WON'T WORK HERE?
Canada has free health care...of course they're not taxed as much!
Oh the return of the Mom and Pop business haha
Once more, Romney, you have these ideas but you don't say HOW
Train your workers to work better...seems legit. Now let's see this happen.
Debunking Biggest Misconception about Candidates
Obama has painted you as a guy who's spent his entire life in the private sector...and you just affirmed that
Romney...no one is settling! Obama is continuously working on things too ya know!
47%...shit just got real.
Just the example that Romney will tell you want you want to hear to your face but if he doesn't think you're listening tell you how you really feel.
Vote Obama. He has more than an idea how to run a country, he has a way to do it.
I don't think Obama's hair was that gray in the last debate...
Education
Romney you are singing a different tune about loans and Pell grants than you were a month ago...I hope you don't wonder why we don't trust you.
Romney says he knows what it takes but you don't elaborate on anything!
Students who graduate from college are going to want more than manufacturing jobs. That'll lower unemployment but does not answer his question. Obama I love you but that doesn't answer his question.
Haha Obama way to pull a Miss America and tie in everything you want to convey that doesn't answer his question.
Romney you can't promise that! Twelve million jobs in four years, good luck with that.
Romney it's one thing to make a business go bankrupt and make it stronger in the end. To do that to an entire CITY who's entire revenue is in this one business...you're setting it up for failure.
WAY TO GO MODERATOR! Shut Romney up haha
Gas Prices
Has anyone thought to just turn off their mics when their two minutes is up and it's not their turn to talk? haha
Good point, Obama...this isn't just about the next four years, it's about the future of tomorrow.
Romney...energy independent...HOW. MY WORD MAN YOU HAVE THESE "IDEAS" BUT DON'T EXPLAIN ANY OF THEM. Ice cream and no classes on Mondays, anyone?
Obama don't waste your two minutes saying Romney is wrong.
Romney didn't take into consideration that our oil consumption is lower because we have better cars and more fuel efficiency in effect.
I now officially want a fact checker next to the mediator. I want someone to be able to check instantly whether what one candidate is accusing the other is right or not. BOOM. no more "he said she said"
YES FINALLY! Remember that the economy has CRASHED because of what our last Republican president did.
Romney shut up.
Sometimes I feel like Romney is going to start crying because of what Obama says haha
Taxes
Hmmm...Romney your first response sounds eerily like what Obama has been saying for the past four years and not like what you've been saying for the past month.
Once more, Romney, you're not saying HOW you're going to do ANY OF THIS!
You're doing this for people who are making less than $200,000. What if you make just over that but have a big family where the Cost of Living still puts you on the lower side? they're still getting screwed! It has to be a proportional annual income for the number of people in the family.
When Obama is debating, he says what he's doing, why he's done it, and what he wants to do, how he will do it, and WHY.
Obama's tax break is even $50,000 higher than Romney's. He's more inclusive. Win haha.
YES. ROMNEY SAID TAX CUTS VS TAX RATE CUTS.
"Governor Romney I'm sure you have a reply there"...
Romney your idea of wealthy is skewed.
TRICKLE DOWN DOESN'T WORK
Yes! Obama has pointed out that Romney can't tell you how he's going to do things! Finally!
Yes Romney, tell us how you're going to pay for 8 trillion dollars of cuts.
Obama didn't double the deficit remember what he CAME INTO! Bush didn't have a balanced budget, Obama had to allow for HIS spending!
Inequalities in the Workplace
Romney you're acting like you've done everything to qualify you for this position, but if that were true then you wouldn't be talking yourself into so many circles.
Planned Parenthood is not just for abortions. There are PP clinics that don't even do abortions. Getting rid of the entire institution will get rid of too many safety opportunities for women! Cancer screenings, contraceptives, oh and a SAFE ENVIRONMENT.
Difference between Bush and Romney
OK way to make undecided voter #1 feel like you care about her by taking half your time throwing a hissy fit. Vote for Obama!
How! HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW! Jeeze Romney take a hint!
I wonder how Bush feels if he's watching this?
This was the best question to highlight what Obama actually came into when he first got into office. You can't change all that in four years, especially when Bush had eight years to mess it all up.
Why revote for Obama?
Obama focused on his platform points from 2008 and how they've been implemented.
OBAMA YOUR TIME IS UP! HAHA
Romney, did you not just hear what Obama did? Focusing on what he didn't do doesn't accomplish anything because of course he didn't do what you're saying, because he did do what he just said he did!
Slow growing economy is not a bad thing. Making a spike growth is going to make it crash just as hard!
Immigration
Children should have a pathway to become citizens BUT NOT THEIR PARENTS?!?! And that path is through the MILITARY??? No...no no no no no...NO!
Romney made it sound like he's a second generation Hispanic...
Obama is inclusive with his immigration plans, not exclusive. As the big melting pot that we are, that's the approach that we need.
Foreign Security
Neither candidate has the right approach. The United States will always fail as a military power as long as we focus on the individual.
Ugh. No comment. You're both wrong.
Gun Control
Believe in the second amendment.
Help stop vi-o-lence...
Because criminals are totally above illegal activity...like obtaining a gun without a permit or through a black market of sorts...
Romney now thinks that two people who have a kid should marry to raise that kid to think violence is not the answer. Because if I'm not in love with someone I always have nonviolent thoughts in my head...
MARRIAGE IS NOT THE ANSWER.
MASSACHUSETTS IS NOT THE SCALE OF AMERICA! Just because it works there does not mean it'll work in the nation!
stupid...it's all stupid.
haha...moderator use Obama's words against him, nice try ;)
Job Outsourcing
I don't think anyone thinks going offshore is attractive, it's cheaper.
ROMNEY YOUR TAX PLAN IS TRICKLE DOWN BUT YOU SAY IT WON'T WORK HERE?
Canada has free health care...of course they're not taxed as much!
Oh the return of the Mom and Pop business haha
Once more, Romney, you have these ideas but you don't say HOW
Train your workers to work better...seems legit. Now let's see this happen.
Debunking Biggest Misconception about Candidates
Obama has painted you as a guy who's spent his entire life in the private sector...and you just affirmed that
Romney...no one is settling! Obama is continuously working on things too ya know!
47%...shit just got real.
Just the example that Romney will tell you want you want to hear to your face but if he doesn't think you're listening tell you how you really feel.
Vote Obama. He has more than an idea how to run a country, he has a way to do it.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
This Is Why I Teach
Hi Cathy,
Well it is decided on my end. If it works out for you, I will be delighted to continue working with Miss Dennis. After this first couple weeks, I could not be happier. Emma is easy to talk with, she comes up with great suggestions for how she can assist me during class. She is a breath of fresh air! She has already made a presentation and conducted an entire lesson for my French 2 students. She also writes mini messages and lessons on the board for whenever we have a few spare minutes between activities. She has ideas for working with French Club too. Just wanted to let you know how things are going.
Happy weekend,
Jill
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sometimes
Sometimes I reflect on my life: Where I've been, what I've done. I remember riding the metro in Paris and seeing the Eiffel Tower in between stops. Like it was no big deal.
I have to remind myself that I've touched that. I've been there. I've been to the top and back. Paris holds no secrets from me anymore.
It's so weird to think that, you know? I know so many people who dream about doing just that; seeing the Eiffel Tower in Paris. And I've seen it more times than I can remember or count.
And yet I've never seen the White House...
I have to remind myself that I've touched that. I've been there. I've been to the top and back. Paris holds no secrets from me anymore.
It's so weird to think that, you know? I know so many people who dream about doing just that; seeing the Eiffel Tower in Paris. And I've seen it more times than I can remember or count.
And yet I've never seen the White House...
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Kristine Jo
I feel liKe a donKey Kong game trying to use K in all of the words that I Kan. It has a certain impliKation that is liKe an inside joKe, but trying to use K-words is putting a smile on my face, much liKe my Konversations that Kreated this Konundrum. SpeaKing in Kode is fun, and I hope you are Kareful when Krossing the street beKause it Kan be dangerous. Knowing that only one person Kan understand this maKes it that much more fun. You Know who you are. :D
Conceptual Understanding
We are supposed to be teaching for conceptual understanding.
Teaching for conceptual understanding will cover the discreet materials that are required for standardized tests and then go beyond.
Supposedly not knowing the requirements for becoming a president but yet knowing how to form an opinion with the presidential candidates based on their platforms would be successful conceptual understanding.
A politician took a standardized test and failed it miserably. If the standardized test was on the conceptual understanding, would he have been able to pass it?
If the discreet materials are what we are testing for in standardized tests, but not what we want students to retain due to conceptual understanding, then why are we testing over those materials in the first place?
OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
Teaching for conceptual understanding will cover the discreet materials that are required for standardized tests and then go beyond.
Supposedly not knowing the requirements for becoming a president but yet knowing how to form an opinion with the presidential candidates based on their platforms would be successful conceptual understanding.
A politician took a standardized test and failed it miserably. If the standardized test was on the conceptual understanding, would he have been able to pass it?
If the discreet materials are what we are testing for in standardized tests, but not what we want students to retain due to conceptual understanding, then why are we testing over those materials in the first place?
OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
Friday, September 14, 2012
Looking Back
I have no idea what my first memory is, but I have quite a few that date pretty far back:
~*~*~
I remember when I was in kindergarten, I would be home before school and work with my mother on these place mats that had me learning how to make shapes, letters, numbers, etc. I remember that the heart shape was not on the place mats, but I tried making them anyway. I couldn't get the bottom to point, but I drew a whole page of them wanting to show my kindergarten teacher because I was so proud of them, even though none of them were really right.
I remember going to Disney World and not wanting to ride the merry-go-round but my parents taking us on it anyway. After that, it was the only thing I wanted to ride.
I remember being afraid of elevators and having to be held when on them.
I remember the first time my mom painted my fingernails. Or rather, she attempted to. It was a bright red polish. She got done with one hand and and wanted me to let it dry before she went to the other. I ended up begging her to take it off because I was afraid that if it dried my fingernails would be red forever and I might want to change my mind after it was too late.
I remember one time my dad sent me to my room I was so mad at him I set thumbtacks in front of my door for him to step on.
I remember my parents singing to me before going to sleep. The Itsy Bitsy Spider was my favorite song for them to sing.
I remember being invited to my preschool best friend's house down the street where we had pizza and jello eggs.
I remember my mother used to be the one to cut my hair. It would make my face itch from the stray hairs.
I remember getting sent to my room without finishing my dinner because of the way I was eating my roast beef sandwich from Arby's.
I remember my sister and I getting caught eating dirt in the backyard and being told if we wanted dinner we could go back outside and eat more dirt.
I remember cutting my own hair. The story goes that I couldn't reach all the way back so it looked like I had a rat tail. The story also goes that I cut my hair because I wanted to show my imaginary friend, Minnie, that it would look good short. See, this one is interesting, because I remember saying that. I remember saying that was the reason. However, I feel like I made that up, but I can't remember the real reason. Where's Freud when you need him hmm?
I remember crying because my mom made me wear my hair in a ponytail for soccer and I didn't want to.
I remember cutting the hair off of my dolls for a "haircut" and always crying when my mom told me it wouldn't grow back.
I remember my mom making us pick up our toys in the living room before she vacuumed. I either forgot or I just didn't and the next thing I knew I couldn't find my favorite teddy bear. I was convinced for a good half hour that she vacuumed it up.
The heads of two of my barbies popped off. When this happened, I stuck them away in a drawer so my parents wouldn't see that they were broken and insist I throw them away. Even though I didn't play with them once their heads were off, I didn't want to throw them away.
I remember our neighbor across the street babysitting us and her giving me mentos and absolutely loving them.
I remember thinking there was no way we could afford to buy a Barbie because it was listed at $9.99 but I didn't see the decimal point, so I thought it was $999.
I remember intentionally smelling ashtrays because I liked the smell.
I remember always going to my grandmother's house for my birthday and insisting that my cake be pink.
I remember one day I had a doctors appointment to get shots but before we left Rugrats was on and it was the episode where Tommy went to the doctor to get his shots.
~*~*~
I honestly have no idea what order those could go in. Some of them are so insignificant that I almost question their validity. But they're the first things I actually recall remembering.
~*~*~
I remember when I was in kindergarten, I would be home before school and work with my mother on these place mats that had me learning how to make shapes, letters, numbers, etc. I remember that the heart shape was not on the place mats, but I tried making them anyway. I couldn't get the bottom to point, but I drew a whole page of them wanting to show my kindergarten teacher because I was so proud of them, even though none of them were really right.
I remember going to Disney World and not wanting to ride the merry-go-round but my parents taking us on it anyway. After that, it was the only thing I wanted to ride.
I remember being afraid of elevators and having to be held when on them.
I remember the first time my mom painted my fingernails. Or rather, she attempted to. It was a bright red polish. She got done with one hand and and wanted me to let it dry before she went to the other. I ended up begging her to take it off because I was afraid that if it dried my fingernails would be red forever and I might want to change my mind after it was too late.
I remember one time my dad sent me to my room I was so mad at him I set thumbtacks in front of my door for him to step on.
I remember my parents singing to me before going to sleep. The Itsy Bitsy Spider was my favorite song for them to sing.
I remember being invited to my preschool best friend's house down the street where we had pizza and jello eggs.
I remember my mother used to be the one to cut my hair. It would make my face itch from the stray hairs.
I remember getting sent to my room without finishing my dinner because of the way I was eating my roast beef sandwich from Arby's.
I remember my sister and I getting caught eating dirt in the backyard and being told if we wanted dinner we could go back outside and eat more dirt.
I remember cutting my own hair. The story goes that I couldn't reach all the way back so it looked like I had a rat tail. The story also goes that I cut my hair because I wanted to show my imaginary friend, Minnie, that it would look good short. See, this one is interesting, because I remember saying that. I remember saying that was the reason. However, I feel like I made that up, but I can't remember the real reason. Where's Freud when you need him hmm?
I remember crying because my mom made me wear my hair in a ponytail for soccer and I didn't want to.
I remember cutting the hair off of my dolls for a "haircut" and always crying when my mom told me it wouldn't grow back.
I remember my mom making us pick up our toys in the living room before she vacuumed. I either forgot or I just didn't and the next thing I knew I couldn't find my favorite teddy bear. I was convinced for a good half hour that she vacuumed it up.
The heads of two of my barbies popped off. When this happened, I stuck them away in a drawer so my parents wouldn't see that they were broken and insist I throw them away. Even though I didn't play with them once their heads were off, I didn't want to throw them away.
I remember our neighbor across the street babysitting us and her giving me mentos and absolutely loving them.
I remember thinking there was no way we could afford to buy a Barbie because it was listed at $9.99 but I didn't see the decimal point, so I thought it was $999.
I remember intentionally smelling ashtrays because I liked the smell.
I remember always going to my grandmother's house for my birthday and insisting that my cake be pink.
I remember one day I had a doctors appointment to get shots but before we left Rugrats was on and it was the episode where Tommy went to the doctor to get his shots.
~*~*~
I honestly have no idea what order those could go in. Some of them are so insignificant that I almost question their validity. But they're the first things I actually recall remembering.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
And She's Back!
Hello bloggers, I have returned from my hibernation of blogging. Or would it more appropriately be deemed a hiatus? Either way, I have returned in full force!
Last you heard I was in Paris enjoying life, and almost three months later here I am. Unfortunately, I put an exorbitant amount of pressure on myself to keep my blogs up to date that when I miss that I become intimidated to come back. Because, you know, I have so many people that rely on my posts being in a timely manner and full of information that if I don't follow that I might as well stop altogether! But at the same time, I blog for me, and I know this. I blog when I know I have something on my mind and the only way for me to sort it out is by writing about it. So either my life has been content enough to where I haven't had a need to blog, or I'm just really good at keeping things in and I don't need to blog until it's all about to explode.
And who knows which one I'm demonstrating?
I suppose the biggest thing on my mind is the fact that it's my senior year of college. Wrapping my head around it is....excruciatingly hard. Part of me is jumping for joy that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...part of me is scared shitless that I can see the end of the tunnel, and part of me is absolutely frustrated that I feel like I'm the only person on track to graduate in May. I feel like I'm surrounded by either underclassmen or senior who are taking extra semesters to finish up. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely believe that there are some people who need to take the extra time to finish up, and I certainly wouldn't chastise someone for choosing to take more time in order to graduate with something I know he/she'd be happy with, but I'm feeling a little selfish when I say I am disappointed that I feel alone in this aspect.
The biggest thing that's been on my mind is my future. I've had a rude awakening as far as our education system and the real life opportunities that are not as guaranteed as they want you to believe when you're choosing your major your freshman year. I was told my freshman year that getting a teaching degree from Ball State, no matter what subject area, would guarantee me a job once I graduated. I did everything I was supposed to do, I even did it all in four years. I'm in my second to last semester and I'm told that they can't find a teacher for me to do my participating teaching with, and I can't student teach until I get through my participating teaching.
And honestly, hearing that makes me want to just quit. You know I'm sick of it. I wasn't told that some French classes were only offered certain semesters of certain years and ended up blocking myself out of taking french for two semesters. Now I find out that I haven't been told that the direction of education has made world languages (minus Spanish) nearly impossible to place, let alone find jobs for in the future. Excuse me? Whatever happened to making strides towards globalization? Whatever happened to needing language experience to get advanced high school diplomas, or even into colleges?
It was during this time that I also found out that more and more schools are switching to an "8-Step Plan" that gets standardized testing scores up as well as increases attendance and graduation rates. This plan essentially makes every single teacher adapt their lessons to better prepare students for the standardized tests, be it going over specific objectives and seeing where students struggle and where they don't, or taking time out of your art class to teach a basic algebra lesson. Yes, that's right, non-content classes are being told they have to give 20 minutes of class to teach either a 9th grade algebra lesson or a 10th grade English lesson.
The reason why more and more schools are doing this? Because they're seeing the numbers. They're seeing the test scores go up and in turn the attendance and graduation rates go up as well. And as we all know, the numbers don't lie so it must be the most beneficial option in the world!
Please realize the above paragraph is meant to be read in complete sarcasm.
I really want to do a coloration study to see how many of these students who have benefited from the 8-Step Plan have graduated college in 4 years. Because, it sounds like by the time they graduate high school, all they know how to do is 9th grade Algebra and 10th grade English. So when they get to choose what they think they want to do for the rest of their life, they realize that they've had absolutely no exposure to a range of electives and end up making a rash decision out of the blue because they feel the need to decide. Then, when they realize they've made a terrible choice and need to start over, they end up taking more than four years to graduate, the universities don't get funding, and tuition rises year after year in order to make ends meet.
All because some stupid politician saw that numbers went up therefore nothing else could possibly be wrong with this plan.
And to think, I want to congratulate myself for completing 16 years of education by sentencing myself to a life-long career dealing with this bullshit? I truly must be out of my mind.
I've always been able to convince myself that I'm doing this because I want to be part of the solution. I want to be able to show that I have a clue about education and know how to create solutions to the current problems we face.
And this is the first time I've wanted to just graduate and never step inside another classroom again.
Hello senior year. How I am looking ever so forward to seeing how you pan out these next coming months.
Last you heard I was in Paris enjoying life, and almost three months later here I am. Unfortunately, I put an exorbitant amount of pressure on myself to keep my blogs up to date that when I miss that I become intimidated to come back. Because, you know, I have so many people that rely on my posts being in a timely manner and full of information that if I don't follow that I might as well stop altogether! But at the same time, I blog for me, and I know this. I blog when I know I have something on my mind and the only way for me to sort it out is by writing about it. So either my life has been content enough to where I haven't had a need to blog, or I'm just really good at keeping things in and I don't need to blog until it's all about to explode.
And who knows which one I'm demonstrating?
I suppose the biggest thing on my mind is the fact that it's my senior year of college. Wrapping my head around it is....excruciatingly hard. Part of me is jumping for joy that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...part of me is scared shitless that I can see the end of the tunnel, and part of me is absolutely frustrated that I feel like I'm the only person on track to graduate in May. I feel like I'm surrounded by either underclassmen or senior who are taking extra semesters to finish up. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely believe that there are some people who need to take the extra time to finish up, and I certainly wouldn't chastise someone for choosing to take more time in order to graduate with something I know he/she'd be happy with, but I'm feeling a little selfish when I say I am disappointed that I feel alone in this aspect.
The biggest thing that's been on my mind is my future. I've had a rude awakening as far as our education system and the real life opportunities that are not as guaranteed as they want you to believe when you're choosing your major your freshman year. I was told my freshman year that getting a teaching degree from Ball State, no matter what subject area, would guarantee me a job once I graduated. I did everything I was supposed to do, I even did it all in four years. I'm in my second to last semester and I'm told that they can't find a teacher for me to do my participating teaching with, and I can't student teach until I get through my participating teaching.
And honestly, hearing that makes me want to just quit. You know I'm sick of it. I wasn't told that some French classes were only offered certain semesters of certain years and ended up blocking myself out of taking french for two semesters. Now I find out that I haven't been told that the direction of education has made world languages (minus Spanish) nearly impossible to place, let alone find jobs for in the future. Excuse me? Whatever happened to making strides towards globalization? Whatever happened to needing language experience to get advanced high school diplomas, or even into colleges?
It was during this time that I also found out that more and more schools are switching to an "8-Step Plan" that gets standardized testing scores up as well as increases attendance and graduation rates. This plan essentially makes every single teacher adapt their lessons to better prepare students for the standardized tests, be it going over specific objectives and seeing where students struggle and where they don't, or taking time out of your art class to teach a basic algebra lesson. Yes, that's right, non-content classes are being told they have to give 20 minutes of class to teach either a 9th grade algebra lesson or a 10th grade English lesson.
The reason why more and more schools are doing this? Because they're seeing the numbers. They're seeing the test scores go up and in turn the attendance and graduation rates go up as well. And as we all know, the numbers don't lie so it must be the most beneficial option in the world!
Please realize the above paragraph is meant to be read in complete sarcasm.
I really want to do a coloration study to see how many of these students who have benefited from the 8-Step Plan have graduated college in 4 years. Because, it sounds like by the time they graduate high school, all they know how to do is 9th grade Algebra and 10th grade English. So when they get to choose what they think they want to do for the rest of their life, they realize that they've had absolutely no exposure to a range of electives and end up making a rash decision out of the blue because they feel the need to decide. Then, when they realize they've made a terrible choice and need to start over, they end up taking more than four years to graduate, the universities don't get funding, and tuition rises year after year in order to make ends meet.
All because some stupid politician saw that numbers went up therefore nothing else could possibly be wrong with this plan.
And to think, I want to congratulate myself for completing 16 years of education by sentencing myself to a life-long career dealing with this bullshit? I truly must be out of my mind.
I've always been able to convince myself that I'm doing this because I want to be part of the solution. I want to be able to show that I have a clue about education and know how to create solutions to the current problems we face.
And this is the first time I've wanted to just graduate and never step inside another classroom again.
Hello senior year. How I am looking ever so forward to seeing how you pan out these next coming months.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Long Overdue Explanation
Two weeks without blogging...don't worry, I'm not dead!
So many things have happened in those two weeks too, which makes me feel badly because I never elaborated on any of them and thus you all are in the dark about my wonderful tales from Paris.
Wonderful indeed...haha
I have found that I have completely conflicting emotions concerning this trip, my experiences here, reflections, and really just everything in general. It's hard to pinpoint what I'm feeling, but here I'll try, just for you.
I know there have been several times where I've wondered about the progress of my language production and proficiency. It's hard for me because I continuously want to compare my experiences from being in France now and back in 2008. I have to consciously tell myself that it's like comparing apples and oranges because the purpose of the two programs is completely different. I don't like that I feel like I haven't gained proficiency in ANY way, but I suppose the fact that being here has kept me from losing proficiency is a compromise.
I keep on wondering if I'm going to wake up one day and forget English. I try and remember what my language was like after three/four weeks last time I was in France, and I'm pretty sure I was still struggling with some of the French production. However, this time around I am noticing a lot of "franglais" or times where I want to reply in French even if I know the person I'm talking to does not understand French. I actually think this will hold true for a few weeks back in America, so that's something to look forward to =P
I feel that once I set out to NOT be a tourist I started enjoying myself more. I didn't feel bogged down by going places I've already been or seeing things I've already seen, and that helped me let go of a lot of grudges I held for the city. The only sad thing about that is everyone else still wants to see the landmarks and be a tourist, so I ended up going on a lot of adventures by myself. The price you pay, I suppose. I have been blessed with the ability to look at a map, know where I am, and know how to proceed without being completely confused.
With that in mind, I have to say this trip did help my self-confidence quite a bit. I had always been afraid of living in big cities and relying on things like public transportation or walking everywhere not being able to trust the person next to you. Spending a month in Paris has shown me that I can adapt to the city life quite well. I know I still prefer suburbia, but at least I know I won't die if I move to intercity.
There have been some struggles, however. Besides home sickness and the mind numbingness of my classes, technology just hasn't been on my side this trip. First I thought I killed my mac charger, and now my mac just wants to follow suit. The backlight for the screen is refusing to work. Articles online say it could be from dust or the wire could be dislodged, or it might be damaged and need replacing, which is EXACTLY what I want to hear in France with a year left of university! Not... thankfully I have coaxed it into staying lit on literally the lowest setting without going completely black. And being back in the states in five days, hopefully I'll be able to sort this all out soon.
I don't like complaining about my courses because I knew from the beginning that I was going to be on the advanced side of the language, and there's nothing that my complaining will accomplish. I'm glad to be able to earn the credits I need for my major and I will say that I'm glad I came here. However, I feel that Ball State needs to reevaluate the necessity of an immersion experience in certain cases. But, that rant is for another time in a more conducive environment.
There were some great things that I got to accomplish here that I would not have been able to accomplish if I had gone to Quebec, like:
-Be part of a live studio audience for a major French news show
-See a ballet at the Opera Garnier in my own private balcony box with a friend
-Realize that I'll never get tired of seeing the Eiffel Tower lit up at night
-Create an English dub for a short film being entered in film festivals around the world
-Gain a full new appreciate for Paris
Even though I still have a few more days so I want to save my final reflections until then, I will say that if I hadn't come on this trip, then I would still have my nose in the air thinking that Paris is just a smelly city with lots of attractions for tourists who don't speak French. I don't think that at all anymore, and I can see myself actually wanting to return in the future.
And that's the final thing I want to talk about here today: returning. Just based on my homesickness from being here for a couple weeks, I am definitely not in a hurry to return anytime soon for an extensive visit. My two professors and the director of the program think that I would do very well teaching English here in France; and even though I think it would be a great opportunity I don't think I could live here for nine months with my friends, family, or significant other back in the states. However, I know Ben and I have talked about once we get jobs in schools teaming up have bringing students over here to learn about the language and history of the city. I feel that in that capacity where I get to play "expert" instead of tourist, and it's only for a week or two, I would enjoy it much more and be willing to return. And let's not mention that typically if so many students sign up the teachers get to go for free!
So I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to make any sort of update; even my other blog has suffered! I suppose just wrapping my head around the fact that I have been LIVING IN PARIS FRANCE FOR THE PAST THREE WEEKS is still something I struggle with. And of course we're leaving right when we start to get accustomed! I will say that my overall experience has been positive, but I am ready to be home.
Can't wait to see you all <3
So many things have happened in those two weeks too, which makes me feel badly because I never elaborated on any of them and thus you all are in the dark about my wonderful tales from Paris.
Wonderful indeed...haha
I have found that I have completely conflicting emotions concerning this trip, my experiences here, reflections, and really just everything in general. It's hard to pinpoint what I'm feeling, but here I'll try, just for you.
I know there have been several times where I've wondered about the progress of my language production and proficiency. It's hard for me because I continuously want to compare my experiences from being in France now and back in 2008. I have to consciously tell myself that it's like comparing apples and oranges because the purpose of the two programs is completely different. I don't like that I feel like I haven't gained proficiency in ANY way, but I suppose the fact that being here has kept me from losing proficiency is a compromise.
I keep on wondering if I'm going to wake up one day and forget English. I try and remember what my language was like after three/four weeks last time I was in France, and I'm pretty sure I was still struggling with some of the French production. However, this time around I am noticing a lot of "franglais" or times where I want to reply in French even if I know the person I'm talking to does not understand French. I actually think this will hold true for a few weeks back in America, so that's something to look forward to =P
I feel that once I set out to NOT be a tourist I started enjoying myself more. I didn't feel bogged down by going places I've already been or seeing things I've already seen, and that helped me let go of a lot of grudges I held for the city. The only sad thing about that is everyone else still wants to see the landmarks and be a tourist, so I ended up going on a lot of adventures by myself. The price you pay, I suppose. I have been blessed with the ability to look at a map, know where I am, and know how to proceed without being completely confused.
With that in mind, I have to say this trip did help my self-confidence quite a bit. I had always been afraid of living in big cities and relying on things like public transportation or walking everywhere not being able to trust the person next to you. Spending a month in Paris has shown me that I can adapt to the city life quite well. I know I still prefer suburbia, but at least I know I won't die if I move to intercity.
There have been some struggles, however. Besides home sickness and the mind numbingness of my classes, technology just hasn't been on my side this trip. First I thought I killed my mac charger, and now my mac just wants to follow suit. The backlight for the screen is refusing to work. Articles online say it could be from dust or the wire could be dislodged, or it might be damaged and need replacing, which is EXACTLY what I want to hear in France with a year left of university! Not... thankfully I have coaxed it into staying lit on literally the lowest setting without going completely black. And being back in the states in five days, hopefully I'll be able to sort this all out soon.
I don't like complaining about my courses because I knew from the beginning that I was going to be on the advanced side of the language, and there's nothing that my complaining will accomplish. I'm glad to be able to earn the credits I need for my major and I will say that I'm glad I came here. However, I feel that Ball State needs to reevaluate the necessity of an immersion experience in certain cases. But, that rant is for another time in a more conducive environment.
There were some great things that I got to accomplish here that I would not have been able to accomplish if I had gone to Quebec, like:
-Be part of a live studio audience for a major French news show
-See a ballet at the Opera Garnier in my own private balcony box with a friend
-Realize that I'll never get tired of seeing the Eiffel Tower lit up at night
-Create an English dub for a short film being entered in film festivals around the world
-Gain a full new appreciate for Paris
Even though I still have a few more days so I want to save my final reflections until then, I will say that if I hadn't come on this trip, then I would still have my nose in the air thinking that Paris is just a smelly city with lots of attractions for tourists who don't speak French. I don't think that at all anymore, and I can see myself actually wanting to return in the future.
And that's the final thing I want to talk about here today: returning. Just based on my homesickness from being here for a couple weeks, I am definitely not in a hurry to return anytime soon for an extensive visit. My two professors and the director of the program think that I would do very well teaching English here in France; and even though I think it would be a great opportunity I don't think I could live here for nine months with my friends, family, or significant other back in the states. However, I know Ben and I have talked about once we get jobs in schools teaming up have bringing students over here to learn about the language and history of the city. I feel that in that capacity where I get to play "expert" instead of tourist, and it's only for a week or two, I would enjoy it much more and be willing to return. And let's not mention that typically if so many students sign up the teachers get to go for free!
So I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to make any sort of update; even my other blog has suffered! I suppose just wrapping my head around the fact that I have been LIVING IN PARIS FRANCE FOR THE PAST THREE WEEKS is still something I struggle with. And of course we're leaving right when we start to get accustomed! I will say that my overall experience has been positive, but I am ready to be home.
Can't wait to see you all <3
Monday, June 11, 2012
Well that's Funny...
Just found out that all my friends here read my blog. Like, there were six of us in a room and they just started talking about my blog and asking if I had made any posts since Friday. Definitely took me by surprise. And now I'm posting this just to see if they'll see it and comment on it.
Now if only I could find a way to get Ben to do his rendition of the national anthem on film...
Now if only I could find a way to get Ben to do his rendition of the national anthem on film...
Friday, June 8, 2012
First Week Reflections
Well, it definitely is hard to believe that I've been here for a week! Things have become so regular already, it's hard to think of something actually notable to reflect on.
My classes are going well. I am taking a French Conversation and a French Literature course. Currently, both are extremely easy and set at a more intermediate rather than advanced level of language usage. Although it greatly annoyed me at first, it makes sense since this is the first week of class. I'm hoping that it'll get more advanced as the weeks go by.
The hardest challenge (with little surprise) is getting up for my 8:30 class. I currently have three alarms set to help me get up...here's hoping they continue to work!
The weather has been so interesting. I have to say I'm glad it's not in the 90s and humid like it is back home, but there is just a tad bit more rain than I would enjoy. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy the rain. But with as big of a walking city Paris is and everything being outside, the rain gets in the way sometimes.
However, I have finally adjusted to the pace here. No more blisters and shin splints!
There are a lot of students who enjoy going out at night and going to a bar or a club, and I'm glad that the group of friends I typically with are not that way. There has been a lot of just exploring the city and hanging out in groups at the FIAP, so I'm glad I don't feel pressured or anxious to do other sort of things.
I still have mixed feelings about going out and drinking. I actually have not had any alcohol since the plane ride to France. I don't know if it's because I don't want to spend the money or if it's because I don't know what to drink or what. I just have not had a big pull to drink here in Paris. Again, it's only been the first week, so we'll see if that changes ;)
I really just feel like I'm back in college. Like, I have my routine, I have my homework, I have my friends. And I think that's probably why I'm still thrown off by the time difference, because everything here feels so normal. And of course my instant access to talk to everybody back home makes it feel like they're a couple cities away, not across the ocean lol.
Of course, the fact that there is no dining open 24/7 like at college and a lot of eateries on this side of Paris close around 9 pm...that part is still taking a little getting used to lol
Unfortunately, I have already lost interest in the city. People are still talking about wanting to visit places and take pictures and I'm just like...eh... And then people act like we'll never come again and that really doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world for me...I swear Ben is going to shank me if he reads this =P
But who knows? Maybe I'll have a change of heart in the next week and be completely in love. I'm not being pessimistic and purposefully trying to have a bad time because I'm not having a bad time at all! In fact, I think I've laughed more here than I have in the past month back home! It's just if this program were to be in Kentucky or Quebec or anywhere else I'd probably be have just as much fun as I'm having here.
Everything I would say is going well. I keep baring in mind that it's just been the first week so there's still lots of time for things to change. here's to keeping an open mind and enjoying the rest of the trip!
My classes are going well. I am taking a French Conversation and a French Literature course. Currently, both are extremely easy and set at a more intermediate rather than advanced level of language usage. Although it greatly annoyed me at first, it makes sense since this is the first week of class. I'm hoping that it'll get more advanced as the weeks go by.
The hardest challenge (with little surprise) is getting up for my 8:30 class. I currently have three alarms set to help me get up...here's hoping they continue to work!
The weather has been so interesting. I have to say I'm glad it's not in the 90s and humid like it is back home, but there is just a tad bit more rain than I would enjoy. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy the rain. But with as big of a walking city Paris is and everything being outside, the rain gets in the way sometimes.
However, I have finally adjusted to the pace here. No more blisters and shin splints!
There are a lot of students who enjoy going out at night and going to a bar or a club, and I'm glad that the group of friends I typically with are not that way. There has been a lot of just exploring the city and hanging out in groups at the FIAP, so I'm glad I don't feel pressured or anxious to do other sort of things.
I still have mixed feelings about going out and drinking. I actually have not had any alcohol since the plane ride to France. I don't know if it's because I don't want to spend the money or if it's because I don't know what to drink or what. I just have not had a big pull to drink here in Paris. Again, it's only been the first week, so we'll see if that changes ;)
I really just feel like I'm back in college. Like, I have my routine, I have my homework, I have my friends. And I think that's probably why I'm still thrown off by the time difference, because everything here feels so normal. And of course my instant access to talk to everybody back home makes it feel like they're a couple cities away, not across the ocean lol.
Of course, the fact that there is no dining open 24/7 like at college and a lot of eateries on this side of Paris close around 9 pm...that part is still taking a little getting used to lol
Unfortunately, I have already lost interest in the city. People are still talking about wanting to visit places and take pictures and I'm just like...eh... And then people act like we'll never come again and that really doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world for me...I swear Ben is going to shank me if he reads this =P
But who knows? Maybe I'll have a change of heart in the next week and be completely in love. I'm not being pessimistic and purposefully trying to have a bad time because I'm not having a bad time at all! In fact, I think I've laughed more here than I have in the past month back home! It's just if this program were to be in Kentucky or Quebec or anywhere else I'd probably be have just as much fun as I'm having here.
Everything I would say is going well. I keep baring in mind that it's just been the first week so there's still lots of time for things to change. here's to keeping an open mind and enjoying the rest of the trip!
Monday, June 4, 2012
On That Note,
The way the internet works is a little finicky, and I think I should explain it so that we're all on the same page.
I have an access code that is good for the entire month. However, with this access code I can only be on one device with it. I can change devices, but if I'm on my computer, I can't be on my phone. If I'm on my phone, I can't be on my computer. It's a little tedious, especially when I'm doing homework but want to text someone, but I'd definitely take that over nothing at all!
Also, the internet is only in the FIAP. There are some other places that have wi-fi, such as the parks, but I have not ventured out for those yet. So, if we're texting and all of a sudden it seems like I've stopped, I'm probably just out of the wi-fi zone, or I've switched to my computer. I'll try and say something first, but if not, don't freak out lol.
I have an access code that is good for the entire month. However, with this access code I can only be on one device with it. I can change devices, but if I'm on my computer, I can't be on my phone. If I'm on my phone, I can't be on my computer. It's a little tedious, especially when I'm doing homework but want to text someone, but I'd definitely take that over nothing at all!
Also, the internet is only in the FIAP. There are some other places that have wi-fi, such as the parks, but I have not ventured out for those yet. So, if we're texting and all of a sudden it seems like I've stopped, I'm probably just out of the wi-fi zone, or I've switched to my computer. I'll try and say something first, but if not, don't freak out lol.
Bonjour vs Bonsoir
I have a really big problem with still saying "bonjour" (literally, good day) in the evening. I'm used to it just translating to "hello", so whenever I want to say hello I say "bonjour". But apparently, once evening is upon us, it is customary to say "bonsoir" (literally, good evening). This gets REALLY interesting, because one does not say bonnuit (literally, good night) as a salutation, only as a good night, good bye sort of thing. Oh the French...
The past few days have been very relaxing. We're all just trying to gain some semblance of a routine going. Our classes started on Saturday but they were considered a "preview" because today (Monday) was the last day we could make changes. For me, dropping or changing my classes really isn't an option because these are the only two classes offered in French which I need for finishing my major. But it's ok, because I really don't want to change them, anyway.
I never thought I would say thing, though, but I think I'll enjoy my literature course more than my conversation course. Not that I have anything against literature, I just usually struggle with reading comprehension in English let alone French, and I thoroughly enjoyed my previous conversation classes whereas my literature ones are pretty hit and miss. However, I think that I'll like the literature course better because it's asking for a more advanced use of the French language, whereas the conversation class is still in an intermediate level. We're going over regular verbs and grammar points that I learned in my first year of French.
Anyway, needless to say my classes will not be a problem. Otherwise things have been going fairly well. I had a rough day on Saturday; I think a combination of jet lag, blisters, and disdain for the lack of immersion in this program just had me beaten down. However, some time with friends helped put my mood back in the green.
This comes the point where we get to "métro boulot dodo" where I do the same thing each day. Just to clarify this is by no means a daily post blog. If you want one, go to my other blog. I'll post if I have something I need to just be blunt about or I just want to generally recap what has been going on in the past few days. So, if you wanted specific information, I suggest you e-mail me =)
I tried getting Ben to repeat a French phrase after me, and I swear everyone at the table was laughing so hard from his pronunciations we all had muscle aches from smiling and laughing. He would say it close enough to be considered comprehensive and then literally the next time he would completely butcher it. Of course, his strong accent didn't help things at all =)
The past few days have been very relaxing. We're all just trying to gain some semblance of a routine going. Our classes started on Saturday but they were considered a "preview" because today (Monday) was the last day we could make changes. For me, dropping or changing my classes really isn't an option because these are the only two classes offered in French which I need for finishing my major. But it's ok, because I really don't want to change them, anyway.
I never thought I would say thing, though, but I think I'll enjoy my literature course more than my conversation course. Not that I have anything against literature, I just usually struggle with reading comprehension in English let alone French, and I thoroughly enjoyed my previous conversation classes whereas my literature ones are pretty hit and miss. However, I think that I'll like the literature course better because it's asking for a more advanced use of the French language, whereas the conversation class is still in an intermediate level. We're going over regular verbs and grammar points that I learned in my first year of French.
Anyway, needless to say my classes will not be a problem. Otherwise things have been going fairly well. I had a rough day on Saturday; I think a combination of jet lag, blisters, and disdain for the lack of immersion in this program just had me beaten down. However, some time with friends helped put my mood back in the green.
This comes the point where we get to "métro boulot dodo" where I do the same thing each day. Just to clarify this is by no means a daily post blog. If you want one, go to my other blog. I'll post if I have something I need to just be blunt about or I just want to generally recap what has been going on in the past few days. So, if you wanted specific information, I suggest you e-mail me =)
I tried getting Ben to repeat a French phrase after me, and I swear everyone at the table was laughing so hard from his pronunciations we all had muscle aches from smiling and laughing. He would say it close enough to be considered comprehensive and then literally the next time he would completely butcher it. Of course, his strong accent didn't help things at all =)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Delayed Reaction Jet-Lag
Just realized that my jet-lag is not just being unwilling to wake up at 7:30 am when my body thinks it's 1:30 am...it's also being able to go to sleep at 11:30 pm when my body things it's 5:30 pm. I have yet to go to bed before 1:00 am here...and this is currently a problem because I have class at 8:30 am tomorrow morning and I'm sure my body will be resistant because it thinks it's only just 1:30 am when I try and wake up. GLORIOUS!
Just thought I'd share that little tidbit...where did I put my melatonin again?
Just thought I'd share that little tidbit...where did I put my melatonin again?
Friday, June 1, 2012
My Catch Phrase
"What's that? I can't hear you over my view of the Eiffel Tower!"
Today, we woke up at 8:15 to get breakfast and plan our day off. We decided to go to the Eiffel Tower and have a picnic lunch right in one of the parks nearby. Today, not only was I the translator but I also played métro navigator, as it seemed I was the only one familiar enough with directions to navigate the train system. We ended up spending about five hours just roaming around that district of Paris, also finding the first model of the Statue of Liberty as well as taking several leisurely walks on and across the Seine.
When we got back to the FIAP, we had about 2 hours to kill before the one thing we had to do today. I ended up just going online and checking up on everything, making sure that I got the internet figured out and such. We had to go to a photo booth and get pictures taken for a couple of our passes, so I also cut the pictures to size and placed them accordingly. I tried to drink as much water as possible throughout the day to avoid dehydration, but around 4:00 pm I was getting too tired so I indulged in a "Coca-Light" (Diet Coke) to get my energy back up.
A lot of us weren't looking forward to the tour we had scheduled this evening because we were under the impression that it would be comparable to what we did the day before. Thankfully we didn't skip out because we saw a whole new side to the district, that's for sure. I had no idea we were so close to the catacombs! And the tour guide showed us a lot of useful stores and shops for our day-to-day usage as well as the "cheap food" district for meals. I know a bunch of us are planning to start exploring come tomorrow.
I am happy to say that my lunches so far have only been about 5-10 euros. If you convert it to dollars it seems terribly expensive, but considering what I budgeted, it makes me happy that it's actually that low.
After the tour, we went back to FIAP for dinner which was not my favorite. I'm really trying not to be picky about what I eat and try everything at least once, but I'm pretty sure tomorrow I'm going to play it safe with either quiche, chopped steak, or pizza.
After dinner we sat and talked for a bit. When the sun goes under buildings it actually gets quite cool outside, especially with the wind. It's hard to think about how I just got here when it feels like I'm already accustomed to everything. Highlight of the day was definitely booking tickets to see a ballet at the Paris Opera House!!!
Unfortunately, one cannot enjoy such a vacation without some negatives the balance out all the good. I don't want to sound like I'm not enjoying myself, because I am, but already there are some things that are starting to bug me:
-There is a clique already forming of "those" kind of Americans. Very stereotypical, very inappropriate, and very condescending. Hopefully being around the culture long enough will help take the edge off
-I have very little to no excitement to explore the city. Seeing the Eiffel Tower was nice and I am very excited to go back to the Opera House, but when we were just exploring I felt no sense of adventure in me. Unfortunately it reminded me often why I wanted to go to Quebec instead of Paris in the first place.
-The vast majority of participants on this program are from Kentucky, and they have that VERY thick and strong accent. I have always been a fan of the accent, I think it sounds soothing. But I'm noticing it start to come in my English drawl, and I don't like that. It's harder to speak French with exaggerated diphthongs...
-I lost my room key today and had to get it replaced. Did not realize I was going to be THAT girl. Rawr...
However, I feel the need to spread the word about some really positive points I've already noticed:
-When I speak French in town, I'm not looked down at as some silly American. Last time I came to Paris I didn't like the fact that they recognized my accent and automatically thought we couldn't speak the language, even when all we spoke was French. Currently, if I speak French to them, they reply back in French with no hesitation or English. That's definitely something that makes me smile =D
-Along with that, word must be getting out that I'm the token French major because more and more people are asking me to either translate or just give random vocabulary out for usage. I definitely love using the language like this.
-I had made a joke that if I didn't speak French I wouldn't have made as many friends so quickly, and almost everyone came back and countered it with that we would still be friends no matter what language anyone spoke. Even though I try and be as extroverted as possible, that definitely helped me not be so shy towards others in the group that I hadn't gotten to know yet.
-Even though I wasn't enjoying exploring Paris myself, I was definitely enjoying seeing everyone else enjoy exploring. I loved taking pictures of everyone and seeing their faces when we happened upon something historical or monumental. Not to mention being surrounded by people I consider friends, no matter where we are, it's definitely a good time.
There see? The bads don't cancel anything out. The bottom line is I'm glad I'm here to take classes and meet new people and gain experience in the language and society. Tomorrow the only thing I have on my plate is class from 1-3, and then I think we're going to tour the neighborhood on our own just to make our own discoveries. Should definitely be fun!
Today, we woke up at 8:15 to get breakfast and plan our day off. We decided to go to the Eiffel Tower and have a picnic lunch right in one of the parks nearby. Today, not only was I the translator but I also played métro navigator, as it seemed I was the only one familiar enough with directions to navigate the train system. We ended up spending about five hours just roaming around that district of Paris, also finding the first model of the Statue of Liberty as well as taking several leisurely walks on and across the Seine.
When we got back to the FIAP, we had about 2 hours to kill before the one thing we had to do today. I ended up just going online and checking up on everything, making sure that I got the internet figured out and such. We had to go to a photo booth and get pictures taken for a couple of our passes, so I also cut the pictures to size and placed them accordingly. I tried to drink as much water as possible throughout the day to avoid dehydration, but around 4:00 pm I was getting too tired so I indulged in a "Coca-Light" (Diet Coke) to get my energy back up.
A lot of us weren't looking forward to the tour we had scheduled this evening because we were under the impression that it would be comparable to what we did the day before. Thankfully we didn't skip out because we saw a whole new side to the district, that's for sure. I had no idea we were so close to the catacombs! And the tour guide showed us a lot of useful stores and shops for our day-to-day usage as well as the "cheap food" district for meals. I know a bunch of us are planning to start exploring come tomorrow.
I am happy to say that my lunches so far have only been about 5-10 euros. If you convert it to dollars it seems terribly expensive, but considering what I budgeted, it makes me happy that it's actually that low.
After the tour, we went back to FIAP for dinner which was not my favorite. I'm really trying not to be picky about what I eat and try everything at least once, but I'm pretty sure tomorrow I'm going to play it safe with either quiche, chopped steak, or pizza.
After dinner we sat and talked for a bit. When the sun goes under buildings it actually gets quite cool outside, especially with the wind. It's hard to think about how I just got here when it feels like I'm already accustomed to everything. Highlight of the day was definitely booking tickets to see a ballet at the Paris Opera House!!!
Unfortunately, one cannot enjoy such a vacation without some negatives the balance out all the good. I don't want to sound like I'm not enjoying myself, because I am, but already there are some things that are starting to bug me:
-There is a clique already forming of "those" kind of Americans. Very stereotypical, very inappropriate, and very condescending. Hopefully being around the culture long enough will help take the edge off
-I have very little to no excitement to explore the city. Seeing the Eiffel Tower was nice and I am very excited to go back to the Opera House, but when we were just exploring I felt no sense of adventure in me. Unfortunately it reminded me often why I wanted to go to Quebec instead of Paris in the first place.
-The vast majority of participants on this program are from Kentucky, and they have that VERY thick and strong accent. I have always been a fan of the accent, I think it sounds soothing. But I'm noticing it start to come in my English drawl, and I don't like that. It's harder to speak French with exaggerated diphthongs...
-I lost my room key today and had to get it replaced. Did not realize I was going to be THAT girl. Rawr...
However, I feel the need to spread the word about some really positive points I've already noticed:
-When I speak French in town, I'm not looked down at as some silly American. Last time I came to Paris I didn't like the fact that they recognized my accent and automatically thought we couldn't speak the language, even when all we spoke was French. Currently, if I speak French to them, they reply back in French with no hesitation or English. That's definitely something that makes me smile =D
-Along with that, word must be getting out that I'm the token French major because more and more people are asking me to either translate or just give random vocabulary out for usage. I definitely love using the language like this.
-I had made a joke that if I didn't speak French I wouldn't have made as many friends so quickly, and almost everyone came back and countered it with that we would still be friends no matter what language anyone spoke. Even though I try and be as extroverted as possible, that definitely helped me not be so shy towards others in the group that I hadn't gotten to know yet.
-Even though I wasn't enjoying exploring Paris myself, I was definitely enjoying seeing everyone else enjoy exploring. I loved taking pictures of everyone and seeing their faces when we happened upon something historical or monumental. Not to mention being surrounded by people I consider friends, no matter where we are, it's definitely a good time.
There see? The bads don't cancel anything out. The bottom line is I'm glad I'm here to take classes and meet new people and gain experience in the language and society. Tomorrow the only thing I have on my plate is class from 1-3, and then I think we're going to tour the neighborhood on our own just to make our own discoveries. Should definitely be fun!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Paris: The Journey
Oh what a crazy journey these last 48 hours have been! Definitely went through a lot to get to where we are now, and I have to say I am glad to be here!
It is currently 10:22 pm in Paris, making it 4:22 pm back in Plainfield. I have probably accumulated about 7 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours...awesome!
So my journey started yesterday (Wednesday) making our journey to the Cincinnati airport, experiencing no bad traffic, but some bizarre fog. Once arriving, we stood around for an hour and a half waiting for our faculty escort to take us through as previously arranged. We ended up going through without him because of his tardiness, only to find out that our flight to Dallas (where we would be flying from to France) had been cancelled and we had to go on the next one scheduled an hour and fifteen minutes later.
This flight was actually not the most enjoyable. Although surrounded by friends and other trip members, the plane was fun-sized. Everything was so tiny...I had no idea how it could stay on course without the wind whipping it away! Maybe it didn't, because several of us experienced pressure headaches and nausea directly following the flight. Our original three hour layover had been reduced even though our next flight was delayed. I spent my time nibbling on pretzels praying for my Excedrin and Pepto Bismol to kick in. The flight to Paris could probably not have been more enjoyable unless moved to first class, because I had an aisle seat AND there was no one sitting in the seat directly next to me. Lots of leg room and ability to stretch without getting in someone else's space. And the actual flying of the plane was superb, we didn't experience too bad turbulence or tilting. Overall it was an enjoyable flight. The food was nice, they kept us hydrated, and I was even allowed a complimentary glass of wine with dinner. I could get used to that ;)
I tried dozing a couple of times. I believe overall I obtained about four hours of sleep, which compared to my comrades was a lot. Landing was fine and the next thing we know we're getting our bags and are in a bus heading to the south of Paris!
After a slow and uneventful bus ride, we get to the FIAP where we dropped off our bags and went in search for lunch. Then we had a series of meetings talking about our rooms, our meals, our classes, and the FIAP building itself. I actually have class starting on Saturday so we can get into the swing of things as quickly as possible. After our last meeting we went on a mini-tour of the neighborhood so if we needed to buy anything in particular we would know where to go. I then went with two friends to the mall so they could purchase cheap travel cell phones so they could communicate while abroad.
And thus my job as translator commenced.
Which I have always enjoyed, but it just got more amusing each time I was asked to translate. There are a couple of people who know limited French, but no one in our group with fluent enough or confident enough to interact with the store venders to ask questions. I ended up doing a lot of the talking for ordering lunch, obtaining cell phones, and searching for watches throughout the neighborhood. It was with this that I realized how much I enjoy being surrounded by the language and all that it entails! It's really nice to be able to reply in French and actually be understood, and a really cool feeling to be admired for speaking the language. Can't say that happens often.
So I have connected with a lot of people here just by being able to communicate with the necessary parties, and also a lot of people are just really fun to be around.
So after our adventures we went back to FIAP for dinner, showers, unpacking, and just relaxing trying to stay awake as long as possible in order to not wake up at 5 in the morning with nothing to do. Tomorrow is a free day except we have another tour at 5:45 pm. Until then, who knows what tomorrow will bring?
It is currently 10:22 pm in Paris, making it 4:22 pm back in Plainfield. I have probably accumulated about 7 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours...awesome!
So my journey started yesterday (Wednesday) making our journey to the Cincinnati airport, experiencing no bad traffic, but some bizarre fog. Once arriving, we stood around for an hour and a half waiting for our faculty escort to take us through as previously arranged. We ended up going through without him because of his tardiness, only to find out that our flight to Dallas (where we would be flying from to France) had been cancelled and we had to go on the next one scheduled an hour and fifteen minutes later.
This flight was actually not the most enjoyable. Although surrounded by friends and other trip members, the plane was fun-sized. Everything was so tiny...I had no idea how it could stay on course without the wind whipping it away! Maybe it didn't, because several of us experienced pressure headaches and nausea directly following the flight. Our original three hour layover had been reduced even though our next flight was delayed. I spent my time nibbling on pretzels praying for my Excedrin and Pepto Bismol to kick in. The flight to Paris could probably not have been more enjoyable unless moved to first class, because I had an aisle seat AND there was no one sitting in the seat directly next to me. Lots of leg room and ability to stretch without getting in someone else's space. And the actual flying of the plane was superb, we didn't experience too bad turbulence or tilting. Overall it was an enjoyable flight. The food was nice, they kept us hydrated, and I was even allowed a complimentary glass of wine with dinner. I could get used to that ;)
I tried dozing a couple of times. I believe overall I obtained about four hours of sleep, which compared to my comrades was a lot. Landing was fine and the next thing we know we're getting our bags and are in a bus heading to the south of Paris!
After a slow and uneventful bus ride, we get to the FIAP where we dropped off our bags and went in search for lunch. Then we had a series of meetings talking about our rooms, our meals, our classes, and the FIAP building itself. I actually have class starting on Saturday so we can get into the swing of things as quickly as possible. After our last meeting we went on a mini-tour of the neighborhood so if we needed to buy anything in particular we would know where to go. I then went with two friends to the mall so they could purchase cheap travel cell phones so they could communicate while abroad.
And thus my job as translator commenced.
Which I have always enjoyed, but it just got more amusing each time I was asked to translate. There are a couple of people who know limited French, but no one in our group with fluent enough or confident enough to interact with the store venders to ask questions. I ended up doing a lot of the talking for ordering lunch, obtaining cell phones, and searching for watches throughout the neighborhood. It was with this that I realized how much I enjoy being surrounded by the language and all that it entails! It's really nice to be able to reply in French and actually be understood, and a really cool feeling to be admired for speaking the language. Can't say that happens often.
So I have connected with a lot of people here just by being able to communicate with the necessary parties, and also a lot of people are just really fun to be around.
So after our adventures we went back to FIAP for dinner, showers, unpacking, and just relaxing trying to stay awake as long as possible in order to not wake up at 5 in the morning with nothing to do. Tomorrow is a free day except we have another tour at 5:45 pm. Until then, who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
AP Exams VS College Placement Tests
There's merit to both, I'm definitely not denying that. My grievance currently is with foreign language AP Exams vs Level Placement Tests offered by the university. I had the opportunity to take the AP French exam but I chose not to because I knew that my university offered a placement test that I thought would be more accurate in assessing my skills. I was right.
My old French teacher in high school become insistent that her fourth year class become an AP class. She's an idiot. There is absolutely no reason any of those students should take that exam. She came into the teacher workroom saying that her kids are blaming her for not being prepared for the exam. About how one is completely fluent in French and thought she failed. How others have already tested into 200 and 300 level college French and feel they failed. That it's the TEST'S fault for not being an accurate assessment and also the SCHOOL'S fault for not offering a fifth year to better prepare the students.
Uhh, lady? NO ONE MADE YOU OFFER THE AP COURSE.
Offering the AP course does absolutely nothing for your students except make them feel like they don't know the language. You're the only one who thinks it's a good idea to do that and let me tell you, YOUR RESULTS SHOULD SHOW YOU THAT YOU ARE INCORRECT.
College placement tests? Those are the way to go. It's a test that assesses your skill only, not your skill against everyone else who is taking that test. If you have 300-level proficiency, you'll get that score. Whereas with AP, you need a number. And if you don't get that number you're SOL.
I just don't get her logic. But in her words "it looks like we'll just have to agree to disagree, Emma".
My old French teacher in high school become insistent that her fourth year class become an AP class. She's an idiot. There is absolutely no reason any of those students should take that exam. She came into the teacher workroom saying that her kids are blaming her for not being prepared for the exam. About how one is completely fluent in French and thought she failed. How others have already tested into 200 and 300 level college French and feel they failed. That it's the TEST'S fault for not being an accurate assessment and also the SCHOOL'S fault for not offering a fifth year to better prepare the students.
Uhh, lady? NO ONE MADE YOU OFFER THE AP COURSE.
Offering the AP course does absolutely nothing for your students except make them feel like they don't know the language. You're the only one who thinks it's a good idea to do that and let me tell you, YOUR RESULTS SHOULD SHOW YOU THAT YOU ARE INCORRECT.
College placement tests? Those are the way to go. It's a test that assesses your skill only, not your skill against everyone else who is taking that test. If you have 300-level proficiency, you'll get that score. Whereas with AP, you need a number. And if you don't get that number you're SOL.
I just don't get her logic. But in her words "it looks like we'll just have to agree to disagree, Emma".
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Don't You Hate It
when you're on your blogger homepage and you click the title of your blog expecting it to take you to view your blog, but it takes you to your stats page instead?
Gets me every time...
Gets me every time...
Monday, May 7, 2012
Something to Look Forward To:
I am documenting all of the recipes I make this summer. I plan to post them with a picture and the recipe. Most of them are simple and are just summer fun to feed my siblings and I, but others are ones I've found and want to try! I've already got two going and can't wait to add more!
Saturday, May 5, 2012
REPA 2 Reaction
CKV: I know the current
requirements are not working! I don't agree with these either. I just
think the whole education system needs to be overhauled!!!
CJD: It absolutely does. But allowing people to become teachers because they can pass a test and yet have no training or experience in a classroom is NOT going to be an improvement. There is a difference between a mathematician and a math teacher. I have yet to learn anything mathematical from a mathematician. Likewise, these proposals are suggesting that anyone can be a special education teacher by taking a test. Maybe that's how the teacher in Kentucky, who put a child with autism in a duffle bag and placed it in the hallway, got her credentials.
ED: One of my professors had a student who was English Ed, ENL, and decided to take the math praxis ii just because and passed, and then was offered a job as a math teacher. I'm moving to illinois to be a teacher lol
CJD: I may join you, lol. Special education teachers have a maximum case load of 12.
WD: Not to swerve too far off this important topic, but have you seen Illinois' budget deficits? The entire state may have to declare bankruptcy.
CKV: I do not THINK (only my opinion) that teachers are really taught their subject matter to a level to earn a degree. My sister has a degree in elementary ed with a minor in English. She teaches first grade, but after 20 years could not teach 4th or 5th to the degree of knowledge needed to be completely successful to all the students. Does that make sense? I think some secondary math teachers can teach algebra for a few years and then couldn't teach geometry to the standard level that should be required.
CJD: I would agree that a transition from 1st to 5th grade or algebra to geometry might be difficult...at first. But I also believe teachers are capable of getting to that required standard in a shorter period of time than someone who is not educated in education. I also believe good teachers do what it takes to be the best at whatever they are called upon to teach. Teaching cannot be viewed as "just a job". Unfortunately, Dr. Bennett seems to be taking steps to devalue the profession.
CKV: I don't know...I think there is a big difference in being "taught" or "educated" on HOW to teach, and being ABLE to teach. It is like riding a bike. You know I have just been left a bad taste in my mouth because of educators. I don't have an education degree, but I think my children have more from me than most of the teachers they had.
ED: I can agree with that statement. I was in a 6th grade math class with two English Language Learners that I would help. It just happened to be a math class with one of my professor's daughters in it. I have heard countless stories from my professor about what is considered "important" in the classroom and how most of it has very little pedagogical value to it. More and more teachers are being told to teach to the test because their jobs are becoming more and more dependent on those test scores. How can a teacher differentiate or keep a low affective filter in the classroom when they are seemingly forced to cram so much information in the kids' head for one test that is the difference between and raise and a pink slip? Dr. Bennett is putting too much emphasis on these scores and not enough on learning in the classroom.
ED: Oh, and my mother has definitely taught me more than most of my teachers and professors. But she's just that way.
CKV: but think about it...think about all your mom taught you WITHOUT a teachering license...in this situation before her schooling, she could take the test and teach others in a classroom more than what those that have the teaching licenses under the current statutes and more students would be more successful, you know what i mean? i mean in your mom's case (as well as some others) just having a teaching license doesn't make you a better "teacher" of the material.
CKV: But, I have been in classrooms in IPS where there are hispanics sitting in the classrooms that do not speak one word of English and they are assigned another student to interpret what the teacher is saying...how do they interpret what they don't understand...some schools are really in some serious crisis
CKV: if you could find some people like your mom who can speak several languages fluently, and can "teach" effectively the students would be more educated than what they are receiving currently with a licensed teacher who only speaks English. i can see both sides to the proposed plan
CJD: After having gone to school to become a teacher, I will be a BETTER teacher because of my schooling. And there is plenty of research that says the most successful students are those whose parents value education and help their children outside of the classroom. I had issues with teachers, especially where [my son] was concerned, but I would not trust just anyone who could pass a content test to be able to TEACH that content.
PN: Did I seriously just read a post on here that said..."WITHOUT a teachering license"? Enough said....and you are criticizing educators? hahahahaha
CKV: haha, meant teaching license...fingers moving too fast...i understand, but you know, after the kids have certain teachers they had, i might trust one or atleast give them a chance...i remember [J] being in one class and every day they sat around on ebay trying to bid on an "YUGO" car, this teacher had a license but didn't teach ANY material
ED: I feel like with the standard that education is at currently, where teachers teach more to the test than to teach students to learn, someone without pedagogical training could become a "successful" teacher. HOWEVER. I have thought since I was in 5th grade that I could be a good teacher. Now that I have been through three years of pedagogical methods courses to teach me how to teach students to learn, my standards of being a successful teacher have increased dramatically. Knowing what I know now, I do not think I could have been a truly successful teacher without this training, just one that could get students to pass my classes and keep my job.
ED: And although this is extremely nitpicky it is a huge myth that you have to know several different language to effectively teach English Language Learners. This past semester I worked with two Korean students in a middle school who had been in the united states both for less than a month. I do not nor have I ever spoken Korean. However, with the methods I have been taught while obtaining my English as a New Language license, I know how to appropriately assess language acquisition and successfully help them acquire English, incorporate their native language, and still get them to understand the necessary academic language.
CJD: It absolutely does. But allowing people to become teachers because they can pass a test and yet have no training or experience in a classroom is NOT going to be an improvement. There is a difference between a mathematician and a math teacher. I have yet to learn anything mathematical from a mathematician. Likewise, these proposals are suggesting that anyone can be a special education teacher by taking a test. Maybe that's how the teacher in Kentucky, who put a child with autism in a duffle bag and placed it in the hallway, got her credentials.
ED: One of my professors had a student who was English Ed, ENL, and decided to take the math praxis ii just because and passed, and then was offered a job as a math teacher. I'm moving to illinois to be a teacher lol
CJD: I may join you, lol. Special education teachers have a maximum case load of 12.
WD: Not to swerve too far off this important topic, but have you seen Illinois' budget deficits? The entire state may have to declare bankruptcy.
CKV: I do not THINK (only my opinion) that teachers are really taught their subject matter to a level to earn a degree. My sister has a degree in elementary ed with a minor in English. She teaches first grade, but after 20 years could not teach 4th or 5th to the degree of knowledge needed to be completely successful to all the students. Does that make sense? I think some secondary math teachers can teach algebra for a few years and then couldn't teach geometry to the standard level that should be required.
CJD: I would agree that a transition from 1st to 5th grade or algebra to geometry might be difficult...at first. But I also believe teachers are capable of getting to that required standard in a shorter period of time than someone who is not educated in education. I also believe good teachers do what it takes to be the best at whatever they are called upon to teach. Teaching cannot be viewed as "just a job". Unfortunately, Dr. Bennett seems to be taking steps to devalue the profession.
CKV: I don't know...I think there is a big difference in being "taught" or "educated" on HOW to teach, and being ABLE to teach. It is like riding a bike. You know I have just been left a bad taste in my mouth because of educators. I don't have an education degree, but I think my children have more from me than most of the teachers they had.
ED: I can agree with that statement. I was in a 6th grade math class with two English Language Learners that I would help. It just happened to be a math class with one of my professor's daughters in it. I have heard countless stories from my professor about what is considered "important" in the classroom and how most of it has very little pedagogical value to it. More and more teachers are being told to teach to the test because their jobs are becoming more and more dependent on those test scores. How can a teacher differentiate or keep a low affective filter in the classroom when they are seemingly forced to cram so much information in the kids' head for one test that is the difference between and raise and a pink slip? Dr. Bennett is putting too much emphasis on these scores and not enough on learning in the classroom.
ED: Oh, and my mother has definitely taught me more than most of my teachers and professors. But she's just that way.
CKV: but think about it...think about all your mom taught you WITHOUT a teachering license...in this situation before her schooling, she could take the test and teach others in a classroom more than what those that have the teaching licenses under the current statutes and more students would be more successful, you know what i mean? i mean in your mom's case (as well as some others) just having a teaching license doesn't make you a better "teacher" of the material.
CKV: But, I have been in classrooms in IPS where there are hispanics sitting in the classrooms that do not speak one word of English and they are assigned another student to interpret what the teacher is saying...how do they interpret what they don't understand...some schools are really in some serious crisis
CKV: if you could find some people like your mom who can speak several languages fluently, and can "teach" effectively the students would be more educated than what they are receiving currently with a licensed teacher who only speaks English. i can see both sides to the proposed plan
CJD: After having gone to school to become a teacher, I will be a BETTER teacher because of my schooling. And there is plenty of research that says the most successful students are those whose parents value education and help their children outside of the classroom. I had issues with teachers, especially where [my son] was concerned, but I would not trust just anyone who could pass a content test to be able to TEACH that content.
PN: Did I seriously just read a post on here that said..."WITHOUT a teachering license"? Enough said....and you are criticizing educators? hahahahaha
CKV: haha, meant teaching license...fingers moving too fast...i understand, but you know, after the kids have certain teachers they had, i might trust one or atleast give them a chance...i remember [J] being in one class and every day they sat around on ebay trying to bid on an "YUGO" car, this teacher had a license but didn't teach ANY material
ED: I feel like with the standard that education is at currently, where teachers teach more to the test than to teach students to learn, someone without pedagogical training could become a "successful" teacher. HOWEVER. I have thought since I was in 5th grade that I could be a good teacher. Now that I have been through three years of pedagogical methods courses to teach me how to teach students to learn, my standards of being a successful teacher have increased dramatically. Knowing what I know now, I do not think I could have been a truly successful teacher without this training, just one that could get students to pass my classes and keep my job.
ED: And although this is extremely nitpicky it is a huge myth that you have to know several different language to effectively teach English Language Learners. This past semester I worked with two Korean students in a middle school who had been in the united states both for less than a month. I do not nor have I ever spoken Korean. However, with the methods I have been taught while obtaining my English as a New Language license, I know how to appropriately assess language acquisition and successfully help them acquire English, incorporate their native language, and still get them to understand the necessary academic language.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Power to the People
Ok, so I have a blog where I post everyday about one thing that is worth
celebrating. It's point is just for myself to see how I should
appreciate my life and everything that is in it. However, sometimes I'll
write about someone and put that on facebook so they can see, and
here's what happens:
Ok, so as you can see, I went from one viewer to 35 in the course of about 12 hours. Also that the top traffic source is facebook. I mean, I'm not doing this for people to read, but I had no idea so many people were interested in what I post on faebook enough that it would have that much traffic.
With that being said, let's look at this blog right here:
As you can see, I currently have no page views. I'm wondering if this experiment will get me some if I post this on facebook. Especially since I just posted my other blog. We shall see, shant we?
Ready...GO!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Please and Thank You
Can someone tell me how to become a politician without selling my soul?
I am so absolutely tired of being in a position where I can't do anything about things I want to change. Too much red tape, not high enough on the food chain.
THINGS AREN'T RIGHT! THEY NEED TO BE CHANGED! WHY CAN'T THOSE HIGHER UP SEE THIS AND DO SOMETHING?!?!
I swear all I want to do is keep climbing the ladder until I'm high enough to make the necessary changes. But after so many tiers it becomes political which means I need to get into the politics. But typically if you want voters you need points to stand on and the points I want to make probably aren't what everyone else is looking for.
Even though I'm right. I went to school for this sort of thing, they did not. Why are they making the decisions then?
I want a task force. I want people with real life experience helping me make the right choices.
I also want to talk a standardized test every year I am a teacher. I WILL beat them at their own game.
You will see me up there some day.
I am so absolutely tired of being in a position where I can't do anything about things I want to change. Too much red tape, not high enough on the food chain.
THINGS AREN'T RIGHT! THEY NEED TO BE CHANGED! WHY CAN'T THOSE HIGHER UP SEE THIS AND DO SOMETHING?!?!
I swear all I want to do is keep climbing the ladder until I'm high enough to make the necessary changes. But after so many tiers it becomes political which means I need to get into the politics. But typically if you want voters you need points to stand on and the points I want to make probably aren't what everyone else is looking for.
Even though I'm right. I went to school for this sort of thing, they did not. Why are they making the decisions then?
I want a task force. I want people with real life experience helping me make the right choices.
I also want to talk a standardized test every year I am a teacher. I WILL beat them at their own game.
You will see me up there some day.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I cannot believe I just did that
I just shot myself in the foot.
I just ruined all the progress I had made in the past 15 weeks.
I just sentences myself to a place where I am extremely certain that nothing can get me out of.
All I want to do is cry, but no tears are coming.
I can't bring myself to try and finish, try and give something more, try and do what I came here to do.
Why did I do this? Why didn't I just get up or stay up and to avoid all this.
I KNEW what I was getting into, why didn't it matter?
Why am I such a failure?
Why couldn't I have been better than him?
Why don't I want this?
I am so ashamed.
I just ruined all the progress I had made in the past 15 weeks.
I just sentences myself to a place where I am extremely certain that nothing can get me out of.
All I want to do is cry, but no tears are coming.
I can't bring myself to try and finish, try and give something more, try and do what I came here to do.
Why did I do this? Why didn't I just get up or stay up and to avoid all this.
I KNEW what I was getting into, why didn't it matter?
Why am I such a failure?
Why couldn't I have been better than him?
Why don't I want this?
I am so ashamed.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Want to Know What Makes My Life?
Autocorrect on Microsoft Word.
In FRENCH.
As in, I typed "dasn" and it automatically corrected me for "dans" <-- what I meant to spell.
I always knew it did this in English, and I loved it for that, but I had not expected it to be able to have that knowledge when set in a different language. Maybe that plays me as a fool, but I was still extremely impressed and it just made my night.
In FRENCH.
As in, I typed "dasn" and it automatically corrected me for "dans" <-- what I meant to spell.
I always knew it did this in English, and I loved it for that, but I had not expected it to be able to have that knowledge when set in a different language. Maybe that plays me as a fool, but I was still extremely impressed and it just made my night.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
100 Truths
Happy 100th blog post! I definitely was not expecting to hit 100 posts so quickly...in wanting to do something special I decided to just post 100 truths about me and my life!
1. I don't go by my real name. My real name is Ellen Mae Dennis, but I go by Emma. This confuses people...which in reality amuses me =)
2. I became a senior in college before I turned 21. I'm also constantly the youngest member of exec boards I've been a part of.
3. I can't tell you what color my hair or eyes are. My hair is a cross between blonde and brown, and my eyes are a cross between blue and green. You can look at me and say "You have brown hair and green eyes, that's easy enough" Just wait a week...they'll change =P
4. I was born in Sandusky, Ohio. I don't remember it at all. I've lived in Indiana since 1993. Be that as it may, I still call myself a Buckeye and LOVE Ohio. If I stay in the midwest I'd love to move there.
5. I actually have no problems whatsoever about suburbia. I love living in a neighborhood where I can have a yard and be centrally located in the town. They tend to have better school systems and more of a community feeling than inner-city.
6. I was a girl scout for seven years. In those seven years, I hated selling cookies. The thought of knocking on strangers' doors to ask if they wanted cookies...in the COLD...never appealed to me. I got most of my sales from my dad taking the forms to work. =P
7. I've always loved school. Every year I claim is better than the last for whatever reason. Even though I have a severe case of senioritus I still enjoy being here and doing what I love to do.
8. When I was in 5th grade I was given the award "Most likely to become a teacher" and in 12th grade I was nominated for the "Most likely to teach in Plainfield" superlative. What's my major? Education =D
9. When I was younger I had a sensitivity to caffeine. It seems that I have grown out of it, because I can consume it with none of the side effects I'd have when I was younger. However, because of the previous aversion, I still don't drink energy drinks or Coke unless it's diet; I don't like tea or coffee unless it has flavors added to it.
10. With that in mind, I have never *really* liked chocolate. Even when I was younger, I thought it tasted bitter and did not like it at all. To this day I rarely eat it.
11. I got my first kiss when I was in 7th grade. It wasn't all that great, although if you would read my diary entry from it, I'd say it was one of the best moments over. I haven't had contact with the guy in several years and I typically pretend that it never happened =P
12. My little sister is my best friend. She has constantly been in my shadow basically her entire life, and I've always enjoyed us sharing interests. whenever we're home the same weekends it's the best time ever. It's like we've always been on the same wave length and we just get each other.
13. I played soccer for two years and softball for ten years. I miss them both and hope to someday play either of them for recreation when I have time and settle down somewhere.
14. I have a pretty good long term memory. I'll remember people and things from my past all the time. But for the life of me, I swear my mother did not tell me to do that chore two hours ago...
15. When I was in 2nd grade, I had a problem with my right eye. The problem was that it had rolled into the back of my head. I had several MRIs as well as blood drawn and a spinal tap. The doctors don't know exactly what was wrong still. It was just an inflamed cell that, with the help of medication, got better.
16. My family is a pet loving family. In my lifetime, we've had a dachshund named Sam, a hamster named April, a cat named Tiger, several goldfish--the white ones called Bob--and an English Coonhound named Abby.
17. I do have a favorite punctuation mark. It is the dash (--). I like it because I know how to use it correctly, and very few people--that I know of--seem to take advantage of it's side note abilities.
18. Along with favorites, my favorite color is cerulean blue. I like it because of the Crayola crayon color; it just seems to be a fantastic shade of blue.
19. I associate with synesthesia. For those of you who don't know, that's a neurological condition where two senses intertwine with an observation. Such that I taste the color green, or the number 7 is yellow. I don't think I have the condition. Honestly, I blame Sesame Street.
20. I constantly played piano for 12 years, but I have been playing for a total of 15. It's crazy, because I'm not that good. I never took playing seriously and therefore my site reading is terrible. It's weird to think that there once was a day that I thought it would become my career. My mother gave me lessons and taught me everything I know, up to accompanying Rachel's Vocal solo my senior year of high school. There are times where I wish I had taken it more seriously, but it's pretty cool to be able to sit down and play something I learned in middle school completely from memory.
21. I am afraid of losing control. Of all the fears I could have in life, I believe that is the one that affects me the most.
22. My 09-10 New Year's Resolution was to not swear for a year. I've eliminated all curse words from my vocabulary. I'm happy to say that even though I don't restrict those words anymore, they fly much less often than they did when I was in high school.
23. I'm pretty darn convincing when I want to be. I now understand that people will believe what you say, no matter how cock-eyed it is, as long as you seem confident in it.
24. I've always loved drama. Whether it's happening to me or I'm observing it, I know I thrive off of it.
25. I'm trying to be more frank with people. I'm tired of beating around the bush or telling a white lie...it all just seems pointless.
26. I'm a total romantic at heart. I fall head over heels for a good "Happily Ever After".
27. I really enjoy sports. Watching or playing them, it's all fun to me!
28. After talking to my sister, I've come to realize I've only felt true apathy once. I was a freshman in high school and it was May. It was not a fun time.
29. I call myself a Christian and believe that Jesus is the son of God. I pray and I truly believe that he listens. However, I have never been more afraid of dying, just because I don't know what happens after.
30. Last year I applied to become an RA. I did everything I thought I could in order to secure everything. I networked, I participated, I excelled in the required class and I made it through the entire process. I was chosen as an alternate. I resent myself for it.
31. I seem to have always had a passion for leadership. It's possible that it's the control thing again, but if you ever look at my resume...I've done my fair share of work to get where I am.
32. I've spent the past two years working with Robert's Rules of Order Newly Revised and Parliamentary Procedure. I had never studied a network of rules that makes an entire body function. It fascinates me so much I wish I could use it in my career somehow.
33. I'm a sprinter. Not just in the running sort but also in life. I'll get really into an activity for a little bit...and then lose almost complete interest. I'll not be able to sit still for 30 seconds...and then have no problems for two hours. It's an interesting lifestyle.
34. I like to cook. I like to make things that I know people will enjoy. I'm no where near professional, nor do I want to be. But I'll definitely survive on my own =)
35. I have a money spending problem. It almost literally burns a hole in my pocket--I can't keep it on me at all. I know it'll bite me on the butt soon enough.
36. I feel like my right side is cursed. Aside from my eye, I also broke a top knuckle on my right index finger in five places so that it now doesn't bend all the way. Also, my right foot only has two toes that can bend. The rest are immobile.
37. I really really really don't think I'll ever get a tattoo. I don't think I know anything that I'd want to have on me for the rest of my life, and I honestly believe that most people who have tattoos now will regret it in later life.
38. I have been known to be a hypocrite, and it is something I want to try and stop. I have a habit of judging people and actions without having experienced them myself. Then when I do experience them, I do what I said I wouldn't. It's not something I'm proud of, and I want to be able to understand the other side better.
39. For someone who loves being in control, I don't know how to take control of myself very well. I'll avoid functions all together just to avoid certain people. Some might argue that I'm taking the ultimate control, but I know I make people mad by doing that.
40. I do believe I'll have my own Happily Ever After.
41. The summer before my senior year of high school, I went to France for seven weeks. I was on a program where I still went to school and signed a contract that I would not speak English for those seven weeks of the trip. Best. Summer. Of. My. Life.
42. I really have been trying not to lie as much. It goes with the being frank stuff. I remember that I would make up stories not to hide anything, but for sheer amusement. I am consciously trying to stop that.
43. My family means the world to me. But they drive me CRAZY! We've been through so much in so many ways, sometimes I wish we could just sit down and talk about it all. I don't think we're a sit down and talk family, though, more like a sit down and lecture family.
44. Besides playing the piano, I've been singing for a while. I took five years of voice lessons and for a while competed in both piano and voice. I was in the top choir at my high school and got into the top choir at my university my freshman year. It makes me feel good.
45. In the school year I overbook myself constantly. There's just something about running myself ragged that's rather thrilling and exhilarating.
46. There are two things that will drive me crazy: Disappointment and Lies. If you either disappoint me or lie to me...chances are we won't have a very good friendship.
47. I'm not a daredevil at all. I'm more the voice of reason, and have been called Conscience on more than one occasion.
48. When I was younger and we would go to Ohio for vacation, I would always look for the billowing puffy clouds on the way there because I could imagine seeing Sam, our dachshund, in the clouds in Heaven.
49. I'm in love with Dr. Seuss. His books were fine when I was younger, but some of his quotes you can pull from either his books or his words, are magnificent. I live by them.
50. I like to think I'll make an impact on society someday.
51. I've never really held much clout in Freudian theory until recently. His theories claim that because of actions that occur during infancy affect you as an adult. I have a huge fixation problem, and technically his theories explain why. There's just not a lot of support backing them up.
52. I have a problem with picking at my split ends. It's annoying, even for me, but once I see one it's hard to just leave it there.
53. I have kissed (like really kissed) 8 guys.
54. I have never been drunk.
55. Just after I graduated, one of my friend's mother was talking about how often student change their major nowadays. Right then and there I was determined never to change my major because of how sure I was that what I wanted was what I would always want. Honestly, I wish I wasn't so stubborn and would have changed my major when I wasn't so trapped a few years ago.
56. If teaching doesn't work out here in the United States then I plan to teach in France.
57. I rely on medicine very often. I despise being in pain and I would rather take medicine than suffer through pain. I put a lot of faith in our heath system.
58. If I can't sleep, I will think of whatever movie, tv series, or book I'm currently obsessing with and write myself into the plot somehow. I typically end up falling asleep before I get too deep into it, so it works out.
59. I'm 100% non-confrontational. I would rather spend a week in self-loathing pity than talk to someone about what's wrong.
60. I don't like thinking that someday my little sister is going to be an actual adult. I know she will, but in my head she's still 12...I don't want to think what my parents are going through.
61. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier if I were closer to more people.
62. I absolutely LOVE pizza. It doesn't mater what kind, there hasn't been one yet that I haven't liked.
63. I am afraid to end up alone.
64. I have a path of goals for myself and my career: teacher, principal, superintendent, state superintendent, congresswoman, secretary of education for president of the United States.
65. I love having a dog in the house, but I don't think I have the patience to raise one myself. I'm definitely more of a cat person.
66. I grew up with a Super Nintendo and I loved some of the games on there. I currently have a Wii and have discovered their virtual console so I can download some of those games. The nostalgia is amazing.
67. I am a recovering grammar Nazi. I took a class over linguistics last year and showed me the difference between prescriptive grammar and descriptive grammar. Ever since, I try not to correct grammar because one, it's annoying and two, for all I know they are using their rights to be a descriptivist.
68. If I'm reading a book, sometimes I will get so into it that it will actually affect my mood. It's a pretty awesome experience...until the book gets depressing and then I have to convince myself that it's not real. The price you pay...
69. I love getting my nails done. I get it from my mom; she's had fake nails on for as long as I can remember. I currently have fake nails and I'm trying to think of ways I can keep them without spending all my money.
70. I wish it were possible in this day and age to be a stay at home mom without marrying into money. I feel I would be so content to keep house and raise my children...but most families can't live off of one income...which sucks.
71. I would love to be one a cooking competition show like Chopped or Cupcake Wars. Even though I'm not trained I love watching them and coming up with my own concoctions in my head.
72. I can rarely listen to music when I'm working on homework. The only time I can is when the silence is louder than the music could ever be, and when I do it has to be classical with no lyrics and a tune that I don't recognize. I typically have to go to Pandora or another internet radio because I've listened to everything I have in my personal library.
73. I would definitely say that I'm addicted to chewing ice.
74. I have always had long hair for as long as I can remember. The shortest I've ever cut it is at my shoulders, and I prefer it to be lower on my back. My hair is something I take pride in and try to take care of as much as possible.
75. My favorite Disney movie of all time no matter what is the Lion King. I loved both the sequels and I saw the 3D revival on the first day it was out. It is one of my dreams to see it on Broadway.
76. I truly enjoy learning French. The language and culture has so many fascinating intricacies that I enjoy discovering, but I do not think I'd be happy teaching this to students. That's why I'm glad I'm planning to get two other English certifications, one for ESL and the other for ELA.
77. Sometimes I try and remember all of my high school schedules just for the fun of it.
78. My favorite ice cream is cookie dough. In a close second is mint, but only if it's green. I know that green means it's artificial...but I cannot wrap my head around non-green mint.
79. I was pretty big into anime when I was younger. It was mostly in elementary school, but then my middle school best friend was into it too, so I stayed into it until around freshman year of high school. To this day I'll find a lot of nostalgia with it.
80. My parents think I'm planning to get married as soon as possible. My mother has told me she's afraid I'm going to elope without her. I have no intentions of eloping and I'm not planning to get married for at least another three years, if not more.
81. I used to write a lot. Not just in blogs, but actual works of fiction. And poetry, too. I stopped when my computer crashed and I thought I lost everything; I had taken it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. I ended up being able to retrieve what I had lost, and although I have thought about starting again, it's not a current high priority for me.
82. I truly believe there is someone looking out for me. Maybe it's extremely foolish because there are a lot of bad things out in the real world, but I feel like I can't be touched. It's almost like I can see the life that's already been painted for me and all I have to do is follow it.
83. I am extremely liberal when it comes to my beliefs.
84. The hardest transition for me to make from school to summer/work is the hours. I am so used to everything being open and available until 4am. Back home things close around 9/10ish and are not a five minute walk away.
85. I am going to Paris, France for a month over the summer. I have full intentions of going to Disneyland Paris while I'm there.
86. I think it would be pretty awesome to get a teaching job near where my parents live so I can have a $30,000 income with a $500/month expenses. I could get my loans paid off super quickly if that worked out.
87. I have never considered myself to be a stellar dancer, but if it's choreographed I can pick up on the steps easily. I have a tendency to make up my own sequences in the privacy of my room when I'm getting ready for classes in the morning.
88. I enjoy typing quickly. I do better when I'm warmed up by playing piano, and my nails aren't too long (or fake), and this is something again I get from my mother. On average my typing is 90 words per minute with 100% accuracy. The best I've done is 122(ish) with 100% accuracy. It is something I am proud of.
89. When I was younger, the thing that I hated the most was being yelled at. I vowed that I would never yell at my kids when I was angry, and I wanted to use the silence treatment to be as effective as yelling. Unfortunately, I feel better when I yell when I'm angry. I've been trying to control it, and I can usually go a while without yelling when arguing, but if I'm pushed too far I will yell. Still working on it.
90. I feel I can make anything edible with Bisquick.
91. One of my jobs all I do is sign in residents into their halls as well as their guests. Basically, I sit for 4 hours online perfecting my signature. Did I mention I make $8.50?
92. My mother calls me the "normal" one in the family.
93. I have an extreme attachment to one of my professors. I'm sure it sounds weird, but I constantly want to ask if she wants a babysitter or just to hang out, even though she's basically twice my age. I can't really explain it, I just enjoy being around her. Whether we're talking about classes or just shooting the breeze, she is someone I want to stay in contact with for...well essentially the rest of my life. It's a Promance? idk lol
94. I once forged my dad's signature because I failed a test and he had to sign it. When I got caught, my father made me write out "I will not forge a signature again" 1000 times in cursive. This was in 4th grade, so doing it in cursive was absolutely brutal. I guess I learned my lesson, though, because it seems like such a smaller deal nowadays; but I haven't done it since.
95. When I was in elementary school, one of the biggest joys was being able to hold open the doors to let people in from recess.
96. Sometimes I wonder how I will look at my college experience 10 years from now. I never really partied or took dangerous risks that make good stories. It's one of my favorite attributes currently, but I wonder if I'll have wanted to be more adventurous.
97. My mother and I make macaroni and cheese exactly the same, recipe and all. I swear hers tastes better than mine.
98. I do not like ranch dressing. I never have. I never will. I am constantly mocked for it. Then I tell them I don't like chocolate either and they just have a heyday with it. It gets amusing often.
99. I rarely believe I actually have something interesting to contribute. Most of what I do or say is purely for myself
100. I would never change anything that's happened to me. Everything has made me who I am today, and I truly love me for who I am. I am Me.
1. I don't go by my real name. My real name is Ellen Mae Dennis, but I go by Emma. This confuses people...which in reality amuses me =)
2. I became a senior in college before I turned 21. I'm also constantly the youngest member of exec boards I've been a part of.
3. I can't tell you what color my hair or eyes are. My hair is a cross between blonde and brown, and my eyes are a cross between blue and green. You can look at me and say "You have brown hair and green eyes, that's easy enough" Just wait a week...they'll change =P
4. I was born in Sandusky, Ohio. I don't remember it at all. I've lived in Indiana since 1993. Be that as it may, I still call myself a Buckeye and LOVE Ohio. If I stay in the midwest I'd love to move there.
5. I actually have no problems whatsoever about suburbia. I love living in a neighborhood where I can have a yard and be centrally located in the town. They tend to have better school systems and more of a community feeling than inner-city.
6. I was a girl scout for seven years. In those seven years, I hated selling cookies. The thought of knocking on strangers' doors to ask if they wanted cookies...in the COLD...never appealed to me. I got most of my sales from my dad taking the forms to work. =P
7. I've always loved school. Every year I claim is better than the last for whatever reason. Even though I have a severe case of senioritus I still enjoy being here and doing what I love to do.
8. When I was in 5th grade I was given the award "Most likely to become a teacher" and in 12th grade I was nominated for the "Most likely to teach in Plainfield" superlative. What's my major? Education =D
9. When I was younger I had a sensitivity to caffeine. It seems that I have grown out of it, because I can consume it with none of the side effects I'd have when I was younger. However, because of the previous aversion, I still don't drink energy drinks or Coke unless it's diet; I don't like tea or coffee unless it has flavors added to it.
10. With that in mind, I have never *really* liked chocolate. Even when I was younger, I thought it tasted bitter and did not like it at all. To this day I rarely eat it.
11. I got my first kiss when I was in 7th grade. It wasn't all that great, although if you would read my diary entry from it, I'd say it was one of the best moments over. I haven't had contact with the guy in several years and I typically pretend that it never happened =P
12. My little sister is my best friend. She has constantly been in my shadow basically her entire life, and I've always enjoyed us sharing interests. whenever we're home the same weekends it's the best time ever. It's like we've always been on the same wave length and we just get each other.
13. I played soccer for two years and softball for ten years. I miss them both and hope to someday play either of them for recreation when I have time and settle down somewhere.
14. I have a pretty good long term memory. I'll remember people and things from my past all the time. But for the life of me, I swear my mother did not tell me to do that chore two hours ago...
15. When I was in 2nd grade, I had a problem with my right eye. The problem was that it had rolled into the back of my head. I had several MRIs as well as blood drawn and a spinal tap. The doctors don't know exactly what was wrong still. It was just an inflamed cell that, with the help of medication, got better.
16. My family is a pet loving family. In my lifetime, we've had a dachshund named Sam, a hamster named April, a cat named Tiger, several goldfish--the white ones called Bob--and an English Coonhound named Abby.
17. I do have a favorite punctuation mark. It is the dash (--). I like it because I know how to use it correctly, and very few people--that I know of--seem to take advantage of it's side note abilities.
18. Along with favorites, my favorite color is cerulean blue. I like it because of the Crayola crayon color; it just seems to be a fantastic shade of blue.
19. I associate with synesthesia. For those of you who don't know, that's a neurological condition where two senses intertwine with an observation. Such that I taste the color green, or the number 7 is yellow. I don't think I have the condition. Honestly, I blame Sesame Street.
20. I constantly played piano for 12 years, but I have been playing for a total of 15. It's crazy, because I'm not that good. I never took playing seriously and therefore my site reading is terrible. It's weird to think that there once was a day that I thought it would become my career. My mother gave me lessons and taught me everything I know, up to accompanying Rachel's Vocal solo my senior year of high school. There are times where I wish I had taken it more seriously, but it's pretty cool to be able to sit down and play something I learned in middle school completely from memory.
21. I am afraid of losing control. Of all the fears I could have in life, I believe that is the one that affects me the most.
22. My 09-10 New Year's Resolution was to not swear for a year. I've eliminated all curse words from my vocabulary. I'm happy to say that even though I don't restrict those words anymore, they fly much less often than they did when I was in high school.
23. I'm pretty darn convincing when I want to be. I now understand that people will believe what you say, no matter how cock-eyed it is, as long as you seem confident in it.
24. I've always loved drama. Whether it's happening to me or I'm observing it, I know I thrive off of it.
25. I'm trying to be more frank with people. I'm tired of beating around the bush or telling a white lie...it all just seems pointless.
26. I'm a total romantic at heart. I fall head over heels for a good "Happily Ever After".
27. I really enjoy sports. Watching or playing them, it's all fun to me!
28. After talking to my sister, I've come to realize I've only felt true apathy once. I was a freshman in high school and it was May. It was not a fun time.
29. I call myself a Christian and believe that Jesus is the son of God. I pray and I truly believe that he listens. However, I have never been more afraid of dying, just because I don't know what happens after.
30. Last year I applied to become an RA. I did everything I thought I could in order to secure everything. I networked, I participated, I excelled in the required class and I made it through the entire process. I was chosen as an alternate. I resent myself for it.
31. I seem to have always had a passion for leadership. It's possible that it's the control thing again, but if you ever look at my resume...I've done my fair share of work to get where I am.
32. I've spent the past two years working with Robert's Rules of Order Newly Revised and Parliamentary Procedure. I had never studied a network of rules that makes an entire body function. It fascinates me so much I wish I could use it in my career somehow.
33. I'm a sprinter. Not just in the running sort but also in life. I'll get really into an activity for a little bit...and then lose almost complete interest. I'll not be able to sit still for 30 seconds...and then have no problems for two hours. It's an interesting lifestyle.
34. I like to cook. I like to make things that I know people will enjoy. I'm no where near professional, nor do I want to be. But I'll definitely survive on my own =)
35. I have a money spending problem. It almost literally burns a hole in my pocket--I can't keep it on me at all. I know it'll bite me on the butt soon enough.
36. I feel like my right side is cursed. Aside from my eye, I also broke a top knuckle on my right index finger in five places so that it now doesn't bend all the way. Also, my right foot only has two toes that can bend. The rest are immobile.
37. I really really really don't think I'll ever get a tattoo. I don't think I know anything that I'd want to have on me for the rest of my life, and I honestly believe that most people who have tattoos now will regret it in later life.
38. I have been known to be a hypocrite, and it is something I want to try and stop. I have a habit of judging people and actions without having experienced them myself. Then when I do experience them, I do what I said I wouldn't. It's not something I'm proud of, and I want to be able to understand the other side better.
39. For someone who loves being in control, I don't know how to take control of myself very well. I'll avoid functions all together just to avoid certain people. Some might argue that I'm taking the ultimate control, but I know I make people mad by doing that.
40. I do believe I'll have my own Happily Ever After.
41. The summer before my senior year of high school, I went to France for seven weeks. I was on a program where I still went to school and signed a contract that I would not speak English for those seven weeks of the trip. Best. Summer. Of. My. Life.
42. I really have been trying not to lie as much. It goes with the being frank stuff. I remember that I would make up stories not to hide anything, but for sheer amusement. I am consciously trying to stop that.
43. My family means the world to me. But they drive me CRAZY! We've been through so much in so many ways, sometimes I wish we could just sit down and talk about it all. I don't think we're a sit down and talk family, though, more like a sit down and lecture family.
44. Besides playing the piano, I've been singing for a while. I took five years of voice lessons and for a while competed in both piano and voice. I was in the top choir at my high school and got into the top choir at my university my freshman year. It makes me feel good.
45. In the school year I overbook myself constantly. There's just something about running myself ragged that's rather thrilling and exhilarating.
46. There are two things that will drive me crazy: Disappointment and Lies. If you either disappoint me or lie to me...chances are we won't have a very good friendship.
47. I'm not a daredevil at all. I'm more the voice of reason, and have been called Conscience on more than one occasion.
48. When I was younger and we would go to Ohio for vacation, I would always look for the billowing puffy clouds on the way there because I could imagine seeing Sam, our dachshund, in the clouds in Heaven.
49. I'm in love with Dr. Seuss. His books were fine when I was younger, but some of his quotes you can pull from either his books or his words, are magnificent. I live by them.
50. I like to think I'll make an impact on society someday.
51. I've never really held much clout in Freudian theory until recently. His theories claim that because of actions that occur during infancy affect you as an adult. I have a huge fixation problem, and technically his theories explain why. There's just not a lot of support backing them up.
52. I have a problem with picking at my split ends. It's annoying, even for me, but once I see one it's hard to just leave it there.
53. I have kissed (like really kissed) 8 guys.
54. I have never been drunk.
55. Just after I graduated, one of my friend's mother was talking about how often student change their major nowadays. Right then and there I was determined never to change my major because of how sure I was that what I wanted was what I would always want. Honestly, I wish I wasn't so stubborn and would have changed my major when I wasn't so trapped a few years ago.
56. If teaching doesn't work out here in the United States then I plan to teach in France.
57. I rely on medicine very often. I despise being in pain and I would rather take medicine than suffer through pain. I put a lot of faith in our heath system.
58. If I can't sleep, I will think of whatever movie, tv series, or book I'm currently obsessing with and write myself into the plot somehow. I typically end up falling asleep before I get too deep into it, so it works out.
59. I'm 100% non-confrontational. I would rather spend a week in self-loathing pity than talk to someone about what's wrong.
60. I don't like thinking that someday my little sister is going to be an actual adult. I know she will, but in my head she's still 12...I don't want to think what my parents are going through.
61. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier if I were closer to more people.
62. I absolutely LOVE pizza. It doesn't mater what kind, there hasn't been one yet that I haven't liked.
63. I am afraid to end up alone.
64. I have a path of goals for myself and my career: teacher, principal, superintendent, state superintendent, congresswoman, secretary of education for president of the United States.
65. I love having a dog in the house, but I don't think I have the patience to raise one myself. I'm definitely more of a cat person.
66. I grew up with a Super Nintendo and I loved some of the games on there. I currently have a Wii and have discovered their virtual console so I can download some of those games. The nostalgia is amazing.
67. I am a recovering grammar Nazi. I took a class over linguistics last year and showed me the difference between prescriptive grammar and descriptive grammar. Ever since, I try not to correct grammar because one, it's annoying and two, for all I know they are using their rights to be a descriptivist.
68. If I'm reading a book, sometimes I will get so into it that it will actually affect my mood. It's a pretty awesome experience...until the book gets depressing and then I have to convince myself that it's not real. The price you pay...
69. I love getting my nails done. I get it from my mom; she's had fake nails on for as long as I can remember. I currently have fake nails and I'm trying to think of ways I can keep them without spending all my money.
70. I wish it were possible in this day and age to be a stay at home mom without marrying into money. I feel I would be so content to keep house and raise my children...but most families can't live off of one income...which sucks.
71. I would love to be one a cooking competition show like Chopped or Cupcake Wars. Even though I'm not trained I love watching them and coming up with my own concoctions in my head.
72. I can rarely listen to music when I'm working on homework. The only time I can is when the silence is louder than the music could ever be, and when I do it has to be classical with no lyrics and a tune that I don't recognize. I typically have to go to Pandora or another internet radio because I've listened to everything I have in my personal library.
73. I would definitely say that I'm addicted to chewing ice.
74. I have always had long hair for as long as I can remember. The shortest I've ever cut it is at my shoulders, and I prefer it to be lower on my back. My hair is something I take pride in and try to take care of as much as possible.
75. My favorite Disney movie of all time no matter what is the Lion King. I loved both the sequels and I saw the 3D revival on the first day it was out. It is one of my dreams to see it on Broadway.
76. I truly enjoy learning French. The language and culture has so many fascinating intricacies that I enjoy discovering, but I do not think I'd be happy teaching this to students. That's why I'm glad I'm planning to get two other English certifications, one for ESL and the other for ELA.
77. Sometimes I try and remember all of my high school schedules just for the fun of it.
78. My favorite ice cream is cookie dough. In a close second is mint, but only if it's green. I know that green means it's artificial...but I cannot wrap my head around non-green mint.
79. I was pretty big into anime when I was younger. It was mostly in elementary school, but then my middle school best friend was into it too, so I stayed into it until around freshman year of high school. To this day I'll find a lot of nostalgia with it.
80. My parents think I'm planning to get married as soon as possible. My mother has told me she's afraid I'm going to elope without her. I have no intentions of eloping and I'm not planning to get married for at least another three years, if not more.
81. I used to write a lot. Not just in blogs, but actual works of fiction. And poetry, too. I stopped when my computer crashed and I thought I lost everything; I had taken it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. I ended up being able to retrieve what I had lost, and although I have thought about starting again, it's not a current high priority for me.
82. I truly believe there is someone looking out for me. Maybe it's extremely foolish because there are a lot of bad things out in the real world, but I feel like I can't be touched. It's almost like I can see the life that's already been painted for me and all I have to do is follow it.
83. I am extremely liberal when it comes to my beliefs.
84. The hardest transition for me to make from school to summer/work is the hours. I am so used to everything being open and available until 4am. Back home things close around 9/10ish and are not a five minute walk away.
85. I am going to Paris, France for a month over the summer. I have full intentions of going to Disneyland Paris while I'm there.
86. I think it would be pretty awesome to get a teaching job near where my parents live so I can have a $30,000 income with a $500/month expenses. I could get my loans paid off super quickly if that worked out.
87. I have never considered myself to be a stellar dancer, but if it's choreographed I can pick up on the steps easily. I have a tendency to make up my own sequences in the privacy of my room when I'm getting ready for classes in the morning.
88. I enjoy typing quickly. I do better when I'm warmed up by playing piano, and my nails aren't too long (or fake), and this is something again I get from my mother. On average my typing is 90 words per minute with 100% accuracy. The best I've done is 122(ish) with 100% accuracy. It is something I am proud of.
89. When I was younger, the thing that I hated the most was being yelled at. I vowed that I would never yell at my kids when I was angry, and I wanted to use the silence treatment to be as effective as yelling. Unfortunately, I feel better when I yell when I'm angry. I've been trying to control it, and I can usually go a while without yelling when arguing, but if I'm pushed too far I will yell. Still working on it.
90. I feel I can make anything edible with Bisquick.
91. One of my jobs all I do is sign in residents into their halls as well as their guests. Basically, I sit for 4 hours online perfecting my signature. Did I mention I make $8.50?
92. My mother calls me the "normal" one in the family.
93. I have an extreme attachment to one of my professors. I'm sure it sounds weird, but I constantly want to ask if she wants a babysitter or just to hang out, even though she's basically twice my age. I can't really explain it, I just enjoy being around her. Whether we're talking about classes or just shooting the breeze, she is someone I want to stay in contact with for...well essentially the rest of my life. It's a Promance? idk lol
94. I once forged my dad's signature because I failed a test and he had to sign it. When I got caught, my father made me write out "I will not forge a signature again" 1000 times in cursive. This was in 4th grade, so doing it in cursive was absolutely brutal. I guess I learned my lesson, though, because it seems like such a smaller deal nowadays; but I haven't done it since.
95. When I was in elementary school, one of the biggest joys was being able to hold open the doors to let people in from recess.
96. Sometimes I wonder how I will look at my college experience 10 years from now. I never really partied or took dangerous risks that make good stories. It's one of my favorite attributes currently, but I wonder if I'll have wanted to be more adventurous.
97. My mother and I make macaroni and cheese exactly the same, recipe and all. I swear hers tastes better than mine.
98. I do not like ranch dressing. I never have. I never will. I am constantly mocked for it. Then I tell them I don't like chocolate either and they just have a heyday with it. It gets amusing often.
99. I rarely believe I actually have something interesting to contribute. Most of what I do or say is purely for myself
100. I would never change anything that's happened to me. Everything has made me who I am today, and I truly love me for who I am. I am Me.
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