Quiet hallways scare me. Having passing period come and go with so little chatter is disturbing. These are high schoolers, and their lives have been affected in ways very few know how to be prepared.
The class across from me is always buzzing. Today I can barely hear the teacher.
There were going to be humorous presentations, now instead there are crosswords, study halls, and word of another teacher fighting cancer.
He was in the school teaching last week. LAST WEEK. He wanted more than anything to make it until the AP Calculus test and be there for his students until then. He did. He made it. But he paid for it, because he left the school early that day, driven by another teacher, because he was malnourished and dehydrated.
The cancer took advantage of his big heart and shredded it to pieces.
I see several math teachers throughout the day. It hurts that all I can ask is "how are you holding up" knowing that they have it so much worse than I do. They *knew* him. They worked with him. They LOVED him.
He was incredibly involved in the school. While we only exchanged smiles in the hallway a few times, I knew who he was because of the impact he had on the school. He was the wrestling coach. He tutored after school. He climbed mountains. He ran half-marathons. He had more teacher awards from students than could be counted.
Quiet hallways scare me. All anyone ever said was "if anyone should be able to beat this, it's him." While I'm sure this is a common phrase among most victims, I truly believe this to the core. He fought it for four years. He showed strength in times of weakness, and hope in times of helplessness. He was in school last week. He found out his liver was failing last night. He died hours later. It all happened so fast... Screaming...and then silence.
I donated today. even though everything is final, I had to reach out somehow. He had only been married for seven years. He had two daughters, 4 and 6 years old. He left behind a family of falcons that have so much respect for him, they are silent in the hallways. I had to do something. I had to do something.
It is easier, for me, to support rather than mourn. I will continue to ask how the math teachers are doing and will continue to hope that the silence turns from something scary to something beautiful.
Dave Thornton, you will be forever loved, forever missed, and forever remembered. God bless.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Stream of Consciousness 3
If I had to choose one subject to teach, I'm pretty sure it would always be French. I love teaching ENL and I love that I get to teach both, because those learning English actually WANT to learn and it's a treat to see them discover the language. However, my own passion is with French. I was explaining how the word "qu'est-ce que" came to be and going through it all...I knew no matter who understood that's what I enjoyed.
I like to read stories over again because I love getting to feel consumed by it time and time again. It's very easy for me to get sucked in and read as though I'm participating in a movie. Typically I enjoy a story because I enjoy the ending (there's a reason why I've read Divergent multiple times but not the final part of the trilogy). To me, it's not about knowing how it ends, it's about the journey TO the happily ever after.
Sometimes I wish teachers weren't so good at hiding their facebook. I'm sure others probably feel the same about me, but how am I supposed to be friends with these people if I can't cyber stalk them? (sarcasm)
I go back and forth between saying I'm allergic vs I'm sensitive to caffeine. The way I truly believe it works: You know how you get a headache if you stare at the computer for too long, or how you get a stomach ache for eating too much of something you like? That's how caffeine is for me, only it happens much more quickly than it does most people.
I don't think I'm passive aggressive. Passive aggressive--to me--sounds like, very literally, that you are taking out your aggression passively. Back handed compliments, hedging around the issue, etc. What I do is just completely shut down. I will go silent and remain silent until I know I won't say anything that shouldn't be said.
I think my ideal soulmate wouldn't be passive in his own life. I think he'd have strength...just more than likely in areas where I don't. I know I want to be the best at what I do, but I think I want to be with someone who is the best at what he does too.
I legitimately have no desire to leave Indiana, preferably even Indianapolis. I think this surprises most people, including my family. I'm not sure if it's because I'm afraid to try something new or I'm afraid to be alone, but I have absolutely no issues raising a family here.
I don't think I'm as extraverted as people make me out to be. I think I'm probably 65% extravert, 35% introvert. I think I'm surrounded by people who are more mostly introverted so I seem more extraverted, even though I still have quite a few introverted tendencies.
I think I have sympathies towards claustrophobia. While small spaces themselves don't bother me, I get anxious when I feel like I don't have room. Considering this just happened in my 1000 sq ft apartment, I think they're related but not an exact definition.
I do not for a second regret being a teacher's pet in high school, and to certain professors in college. The fact that at a drop of a hat I can get multiple letters of recommendation for any type of position I want is a blessing.
I have no idea what I'm going to do when I have free time over the summer. I say free time even though I'll still be working 40 hours a week. Considering it's a drop from 65-75 hours a week, it's going to feel like copious amounts of free time.
On that note, I don't even want to start thinking about what it will feel like when I have NO job over the summer/breaks. Maybe my yen for traveling will come back.
I like to read stories over again because I love getting to feel consumed by it time and time again. It's very easy for me to get sucked in and read as though I'm participating in a movie. Typically I enjoy a story because I enjoy the ending (there's a reason why I've read Divergent multiple times but not the final part of the trilogy). To me, it's not about knowing how it ends, it's about the journey TO the happily ever after.
Sometimes I wish teachers weren't so good at hiding their facebook. I'm sure others probably feel the same about me, but how am I supposed to be friends with these people if I can't cyber stalk them? (sarcasm)
I go back and forth between saying I'm allergic vs I'm sensitive to caffeine. The way I truly believe it works: You know how you get a headache if you stare at the computer for too long, or how you get a stomach ache for eating too much of something you like? That's how caffeine is for me, only it happens much more quickly than it does most people.
I don't think I'm passive aggressive. Passive aggressive--to me--sounds like, very literally, that you are taking out your aggression passively. Back handed compliments, hedging around the issue, etc. What I do is just completely shut down. I will go silent and remain silent until I know I won't say anything that shouldn't be said.
I think my ideal soulmate wouldn't be passive in his own life. I think he'd have strength...just more than likely in areas where I don't. I know I want to be the best at what I do, but I think I want to be with someone who is the best at what he does too.
I legitimately have no desire to leave Indiana, preferably even Indianapolis. I think this surprises most people, including my family. I'm not sure if it's because I'm afraid to try something new or I'm afraid to be alone, but I have absolutely no issues raising a family here.
I don't think I'm as extraverted as people make me out to be. I think I'm probably 65% extravert, 35% introvert. I think I'm surrounded by people who are more mostly introverted so I seem more extraverted, even though I still have quite a few introverted tendencies.
I think I have sympathies towards claustrophobia. While small spaces themselves don't bother me, I get anxious when I feel like I don't have room. Considering this just happened in my 1000 sq ft apartment, I think they're related but not an exact definition.
I do not for a second regret being a teacher's pet in high school, and to certain professors in college. The fact that at a drop of a hat I can get multiple letters of recommendation for any type of position I want is a blessing.
I have no idea what I'm going to do when I have free time over the summer. I say free time even though I'll still be working 40 hours a week. Considering it's a drop from 65-75 hours a week, it's going to feel like copious amounts of free time.
On that note, I don't even want to start thinking about what it will feel like when I have NO job over the summer/breaks. Maybe my yen for traveling will come back.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
One more Comment about Feminism
Last comment, for now.
Shailene Woodley is getting a lot of crap for her interview with TIME and her views on feminism. I just want to say a couple things:
Her main argument is that she's not for feminism because "raise women to power, take the men away from the power is never going to work because you need balance".
While most feminists will say that feminism is defined as vying for equality for men and women alike. If you think about it, that's what Shailene wants, she just doesn't call it feminism. She calls it sisterhood. Also, considering we live in a male-dominant world, wouldn't men have to lose power in order for women to gain it? Wouldn't that mean that you are "taking the men away from the power", which is what she says she's against?
So it sounds like we're saying the same thing, only you're mad that she said she's not feminist. This reminds me of when hipsters were a thing. See, my boyfriend is not the stereotypical hipster (glasses, starbucks, angst) but I would call him one all the time. Because my definition of hipster is synonymous with pretentious. He'd make a comment about how he did or did not like something, airing on how he's better than someone with opposite implications, and I would call him a hipster for it. I feel like this article is the same way: You all believe in the same thing, just are calling it different things.
I don't like the stigma and connotations that come with being a feminist. If I were to agree with the ideals, I probably still wouldn't call myself a feminist because my initial reaction IS to shy away from it.
There is one more thing that she says in her interview that I feel expressed my feelings towards "feminism" exactly. "I don't know how we as women expect men to respect us because we don't even seem to respect each other. There's so much jealous, so much comparison and envy". YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!
A woman will do or say what is socially acceptable more often than do what they want. You are going to tell your friend they look cute, lost weight, look tan, etc before you tell them you hate their dress, are wearing too much make-up, have a muffin top, and have been tanning too much. You are going to befriend someone you do not get along with just so you can keep up on the drama in their lives and watch them crumble and burn. You are going to surround yourself with people who have the traits you wish you had in yourself, and then you are going to talk badly about them to your other friends. PLEASE TELL ME HOW ANY OF THAT IS RESPECTFUL!!!!
Men don't do this. And that is why they're in more power than women. And if you think for a second that women striving for equality is going to end there, you are delusional. Women will not stop until they have it all, because that is the nature of their character.
A very accurate (though exaggerated) portrayal of this is in the comic "Y the Last Man" I think all "feminists" should check it out.
Bottom Line: Could Shailene have conducted a better interview to get her views across accurately? Absolutely. However, welcome to America where we enjoy making our celebrities look dumb to validate the common person.
Shailene Woodley is getting a lot of crap for her interview with TIME and her views on feminism. I just want to say a couple things:
Her main argument is that she's not for feminism because "raise women to power, take the men away from the power is never going to work because you need balance".
While most feminists will say that feminism is defined as vying for equality for men and women alike. If you think about it, that's what Shailene wants, she just doesn't call it feminism. She calls it sisterhood. Also, considering we live in a male-dominant world, wouldn't men have to lose power in order for women to gain it? Wouldn't that mean that you are "taking the men away from the power", which is what she says she's against?
So it sounds like we're saying the same thing, only you're mad that she said she's not feminist. This reminds me of when hipsters were a thing. See, my boyfriend is not the stereotypical hipster (glasses, starbucks, angst) but I would call him one all the time. Because my definition of hipster is synonymous with pretentious. He'd make a comment about how he did or did not like something, airing on how he's better than someone with opposite implications, and I would call him a hipster for it. I feel like this article is the same way: You all believe in the same thing, just are calling it different things.
I don't like the stigma and connotations that come with being a feminist. If I were to agree with the ideals, I probably still wouldn't call myself a feminist because my initial reaction IS to shy away from it.
There is one more thing that she says in her interview that I feel expressed my feelings towards "feminism" exactly. "I don't know how we as women expect men to respect us because we don't even seem to respect each other. There's so much jealous, so much comparison and envy". YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!
A woman will do or say what is socially acceptable more often than do what they want. You are going to tell your friend they look cute, lost weight, look tan, etc before you tell them you hate their dress, are wearing too much make-up, have a muffin top, and have been tanning too much. You are going to befriend someone you do not get along with just so you can keep up on the drama in their lives and watch them crumble and burn. You are going to surround yourself with people who have the traits you wish you had in yourself, and then you are going to talk badly about them to your other friends. PLEASE TELL ME HOW ANY OF THAT IS RESPECTFUL!!!!
Men don't do this. And that is why they're in more power than women. And if you think for a second that women striving for equality is going to end there, you are delusional. Women will not stop until they have it all, because that is the nature of their character.
A very accurate (though exaggerated) portrayal of this is in the comic "Y the Last Man" I think all "feminists" should check it out.
Bottom Line: Could Shailene have conducted a better interview to get her views across accurately? Absolutely. However, welcome to America where we enjoy making our celebrities look dumb to validate the common person.
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