So In my position, I end of working with a lot of aides and classified staff. It doesn't bother me; it's the nature of the job. I like working with them because to me it doesn't matter if you have a degree but the experience you have in the field and I have had some great learning experiences from these staff.
But sometimes (like currently while we're doing ECA testing) I'll be with a bunch of aides and the head of guidance will come in and say "now you're all here to help Miss Dennis because we need a licensed person to administer this and that blah blah" and it makes me want to have a swivel chair and be all "so how high should I make you jump" and "so look who needs who now" and "BOOM I'm your boss now" etc etc more things to make me look like a selfish cocky idiot.
I would never actually say any of those things. Again, I love working with the people I do. But sometimes in my head I remember why I took the time to get the certifications I did and this is how it pays off. I get to be useful in the school. I get to help manage stressful situations. All because I have a teachers license.
And I am ok with this :)
BUT with that being said, because I'm the one that *needs* to administer everything, I'm stuck in this room, whereas my assistants have left and not come back :( It's like...
...guys...guys...anyone...guys...
#foreveralone
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
On a Completely Unrelated Note:
I had no idea it had been since September since I last posted a chapter! Granted, I knew it had been a few months, but I swore I had worked on it at some point in 2014! Shows how much I know...
And Here's To You - Chapter 5
“Elaina, you really should let me shop for you.” My best
friend, Robin, shook her head as I tried to pick out clothes from a boutique in
the mall. With record high temperatures and Cameron working, I found myself in
the air-conditioned mall with my completely opposite and oldest friend.
By completely opposite I mean there’s no reason we should
get along at all let alone be best friends. We first met at freshman
orientation four years ago because we were in the same advising group. I was
never a shy girl, but I didn’t just randomly talk to strangers like she did. First
she asked our advisor if different grades could have the same lunch, the next
thing I know she’s turning to me asking if I know any cute seniors. I mean
seriously who does that? Anyway, she must have enjoyed my presence because the
first day of freshman year she found me in the lunchroom and the rest went from
there.
Here at the mall she somehow convinced me to get pedicures.
She’s the type of girl that gets her nails done habitually, along with
maintaining her professionally highlighted hair regularly and never leaving the
house without a perfectly coordinated outfit. How she and I, the
give-me-jeans-and-a-tshirt-and-I’m-happy tomboy, have made it this long with a
relatively peaceful friendship is beyond me.
Robin looked at the clothes I had in my hand “It’s the
hottest day of the year so far and you’re picking out jeans?”
“The summer is the best time to find jeans, high supply, low
demand,” I counter. She must have thought I was joking because when I started
looking at long sleeved shirts she drags me away, throwing the jeans behind her,
not caring where they fall.
“Hey! I was going to by those!”
“No you weren’t,” she said “You were going to try them on
and then complain that the thread on the hem was loose, or the rhinestones on
the pocket were tacky and would fall off in two washes, and then you’d put them
back and scowl until we left the store.”
She dragged me along while she went through more racks of
clothing. The next thing I knew, I had a maxi skirt and a peasant blouse in my
arms and was being shoved back towards the dressing rooms. “You’re trying these
on, and I’m going to see you in them, and that’s that.”
I rolled my eyes and shut the door, mildly amused at her
insistence. Because I knew there’s no way out of it, I took off my jean capris
and blue cotton tshirt and put on the clothes she chose. I stepped out without
looking in the mirror and turned to Robin.
She stared at me for two seconds and then nods. “Yep. You’re
getting those.”
I go over to the 180-mirror and take a look. The skirt hugs my
hips and flows straight down, stopping less than an inch to the floor. The
shirt makes my athletic body look more feminine than I’ve ever succeeded in
making it, by making my boobs look big and stomach look small.
Self-consciously, I take my hair out of its ponytail and watch it tumble onto
my shoulders, blond waves cascading to the small of my back. Whoa.
I feel a pinch at my shoulder and hip, and when I turn, I
see Robin running away with the tags in her hand. “I’m buying these before you
can change your mind. Don’t change out of those if you value your life!” She
blows a kiss at me and continues towards the cashier. I roll my eyes but look
at my reflection again. I certainly can’t complain with the end results. I put
on my sandals and start folding my old clothes. My mind drifts back to last
night.
Despite how suave he had been that morning or in his text,
he seemed visibly relieved when I came to his window. It was the encouragement
I needed to climb through, this isn’t
just about me. He was playing a game on his Xbox so I sat on his bed with
my legs crossed. He got back on the bed and lay on his stomach; his shoulder
and my knee were touching.
I’m not sure what the game is, but he is shooting wormhole
entry points and exit points with a gun and then going through them. Boys and their toys, I think, never
having gotten the hang of Xbox myself.
“You wanna talk about dinner?” Cameron asks me without
taking his eyes off the screen.
“Not really. You wanna talk about your sister?” I say in the
same tone he used with me.
He paused his game and looked me in the eye. “No.” I
resisted the sudden urge to cry but broke the eye contact. It’s hard to see
pain etched in someone when you know it’s reflected in yourself. After a couple
moments he went back to his game. I uncrossed my legs and lay down with my head
on his pillow, putting my feet by his head. “Hey now,” he started “what did I
do to you? Get your smelly feet away from me”.
He pushes at my feet and I push them towards his face,
making us both laugh. Incidentally, he lost concentration and died somehow in his
game, putting him back at his last checkpoint. “Check this out” he said as his
character went to a narrow hallway and made a wormhole entry and exit right
across from each other. Holstering the gun, his character extended his hands
into each hole. He was holding hands with himself, in an infinite loop of his
character. “That’s one way to never be alone.” He shut off his game and Xbox
and joined me at the top of his bed. “Amanda called today.”
“Oh really?” I ask nonchalantly. “And how did that go?”
“She was going on about how we broke up rashly, how we could
make things work, and how I could transfer down to New Mexico…” he trailed off
and looked at me and I did my best to keep a blank face. “Could she be anymore
selfish?”
I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I’m
glad he said it and not me. “Looks like you’ll have to keep breaking hearts,
then.”
He put his arm around me and turned me on my side facing
him. “Here’s what we need: A watch that instead of telling time, it tells you
how much time until you meet your true love. Then, all you have to do is wait
until it ticks down to zero and let fate do all the rest.”
I have to keep myself from chiding a sarcastic remark back.
While I personally didn’t care for Amanda, I know he did. “Isn’t that basically
what we’re doing? The only thing is that there’s no watch. You’re still waiting
for fate to do all the dirty work”
“Yeah, I guess.” He looks down at me and pulls me closer so
that my head is on his chest. “But isn’t knowing half the fun?”
His tshirt is soft against my cheek. Rhythmically rubbing my
back, he’s chasing the demons from earlier this evening away. “If I knew who
mine was, I’d feel badly for knowing I’d mess it up somehow.”
Cameron laughed sleepily “It’d be because of your smelly
feet.” One last squeeze and I know he’s drifting off to dreamland, while I
relaxed and tried to sleep, but kept thinking about soul mates and how much
Cameron deserves to meet his.
Friday, April 18, 2014
My struggle with feminist progression
A long time ago I made a post about how I was not a feminist. Today, I feel the same way, but this feeling confuses me.
It's a fine line. Do I believe that women should be treated equally and given the exact same rights, wages, privileges, responsibilities, duties, and opportunities that men do? Honestly...no. But do I think that women should be treated with blatant INequality and disrespect? Absolutely not! So then, what is it that I actually believe?
My go to example is if a draft were reinstated. If we had true equality, then both men and women would be expected to draft at 18, not just men. Can you imagine being a parent and having to lose both your sons and your daughters to war? Family lines all over the country would cease to exist because there is no active preservation of that line.
If a man and a woman are doing exactly the same job, to the tee, with the exact amount and caliber of experience, then I think it is wrong if there is a wage gap. If the woman has more experience and a higher caliber, then I do not think she should be making the same or less than someone with less experience. I see it very objectively: take the gender off the resume and evaluate them based on their worth, not their sexual organs. However, there's a strong part of me that feels this is rarely the case. Even if the man and woman have the same caliber of education, I do not feel that their experience will be the same, and I do not think their perception towards clients or administrations will be the same. We have stereotypes for a reason, and while I know it's easy to defy them or be the exception, it's still an accurate assumption or else it wouldn't be the stereotype.
You have two companies trying to sign on a client. One is run by a guy, the other a girl.
Actually, let's start by looking how I addressed the scenario: Guy vs Girl. There's a social etiquette with gender terms, and for some reason, we are allowed to say girl for an adult, but not boy. By saying girl instead of lady or woman, aren't we already belittling females? If you say "girl" the first words a guy will think is young, silly, foolish, etc. Very similar to what girls think of the world "boy". But yet, I've called my mom a girl and there's never been an issue.
However, I digress...
The two companies cannot take the same approach with the client. The one run by a guy will take the client out to a round of golf and then a lunch, all expensively paid by his company, trying to show the luxuries available to the client by signing on. Of course, this is under the assumption that the client is a guy. If it is a girl, he'll probably still take her out to lunch, showing her the luxuries of the company but then taking the route that she would never have to lift a finger by signing on with them. The company run by a girl would be trying hard to impress a guy client by empirically stating facts proving her to be the best option. With a girl client she would probably take more of a relatable approach...
Of course I'm saying all this when I'm a teacher...which is a profession that has been ruled by women for the past century. Funnily enough this started out as a man's profession but when women started to feel the need to work for themselves they became teachers because their nurturing instincts would do well with the children in the classroom.
I need to make a better habit of not speaking of subject which I have no experience, just mild observations. I suppose my perception of the world is that men do more for society, so their added privileges and responsibilities don't strike me as odd or undeserving. However, if I personally am vying for something that is given to a man, I'm not going to pull the "it's because I'm a girl" card, I'm going to work to show that I'm the better candidate and do more to DESERVE it.
I am again saying this because I've been promoted over a guy before. Twice. We were both up for a supervisor promotion, and technically he had been promoted before me the first time (though I blame being out of the country half way through promotions, not lack of experience) I still beat him out for that promotion. Then when a manager position became open, there were only three of us with the experience to qualify the promotion, and it was me and another girl (ie NOT the guy) who got promoted. So I suppose all my personal experience says that my hard work will give me what I need and desire, regardless of my sex or the sex of those opposed to me. I might have a different stance if I were in a different position, but I'm not.
It's a fine line. Do I believe that women should be treated equally and given the exact same rights, wages, privileges, responsibilities, duties, and opportunities that men do? Honestly...no. But do I think that women should be treated with blatant INequality and disrespect? Absolutely not! So then, what is it that I actually believe?
My go to example is if a draft were reinstated. If we had true equality, then both men and women would be expected to draft at 18, not just men. Can you imagine being a parent and having to lose both your sons and your daughters to war? Family lines all over the country would cease to exist because there is no active preservation of that line.
If a man and a woman are doing exactly the same job, to the tee, with the exact amount and caliber of experience, then I think it is wrong if there is a wage gap. If the woman has more experience and a higher caliber, then I do not think she should be making the same or less than someone with less experience. I see it very objectively: take the gender off the resume and evaluate them based on their worth, not their sexual organs. However, there's a strong part of me that feels this is rarely the case. Even if the man and woman have the same caliber of education, I do not feel that their experience will be the same, and I do not think their perception towards clients or administrations will be the same. We have stereotypes for a reason, and while I know it's easy to defy them or be the exception, it's still an accurate assumption or else it wouldn't be the stereotype.
You have two companies trying to sign on a client. One is run by a guy, the other a girl.
Actually, let's start by looking how I addressed the scenario: Guy vs Girl. There's a social etiquette with gender terms, and for some reason, we are allowed to say girl for an adult, but not boy. By saying girl instead of lady or woman, aren't we already belittling females? If you say "girl" the first words a guy will think is young, silly, foolish, etc. Very similar to what girls think of the world "boy". But yet, I've called my mom a girl and there's never been an issue.
However, I digress...
The two companies cannot take the same approach with the client. The one run by a guy will take the client out to a round of golf and then a lunch, all expensively paid by his company, trying to show the luxuries available to the client by signing on. Of course, this is under the assumption that the client is a guy. If it is a girl, he'll probably still take her out to lunch, showing her the luxuries of the company but then taking the route that she would never have to lift a finger by signing on with them. The company run by a girl would be trying hard to impress a guy client by empirically stating facts proving her to be the best option. With a girl client she would probably take more of a relatable approach...
Of course I'm saying all this when I'm a teacher...which is a profession that has been ruled by women for the past century. Funnily enough this started out as a man's profession but when women started to feel the need to work for themselves they became teachers because their nurturing instincts would do well with the children in the classroom.
I need to make a better habit of not speaking of subject which I have no experience, just mild observations. I suppose my perception of the world is that men do more for society, so their added privileges and responsibilities don't strike me as odd or undeserving. However, if I personally am vying for something that is given to a man, I'm not going to pull the "it's because I'm a girl" card, I'm going to work to show that I'm the better candidate and do more to DESERVE it.
I am again saying this because I've been promoted over a guy before. Twice. We were both up for a supervisor promotion, and technically he had been promoted before me the first time (though I blame being out of the country half way through promotions, not lack of experience) I still beat him out for that promotion. Then when a manager position became open, there were only three of us with the experience to qualify the promotion, and it was me and another girl (ie NOT the guy) who got promoted. So I suppose all my personal experience says that my hard work will give me what I need and desire, regardless of my sex or the sex of those opposed to me. I might have a different stance if I were in a different position, but I'm not.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
RIP: Originality
Ok. I'm going to say this. I'm going to regret it, but I'm going to.
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THE SEQUELS AND REMAKES.
Seriously, I don't know if I'm just more attuned to them because of how invested I now am in the movie business, but this is getting really old really quickly. Like, this is an exponential equation...and it's escalating very rapidly.
I know sequels have been a thing here and there for books and movies a like. I blame Toy Story 3, personally. I feel by Pixar making that movie, they opened the door to "nostalgia sequels", making it ok to revive characters that we happily gained closure with and moved on with our lives from.
Don't get me wrong. I loved Toy Story 3. I CRIED in Toy Story 3. It was beautiful. I had never felt so touched by an animated movie before. It was magical.
And then Boy Meets World decided to do a continuation tv show Girl Meets World. ANOTHER part of my childhood that I said good-bye to, that I made peace with, and that I was content with how it ended. I hate how excited I am for Girl Meets World but when you have such an emotional attachment to something that brought joy to your childhood it's really really hard to NOT be excited!
But now I'm becoming confused because I'm craving originality, but I'm getting movies that I'm emotionally programmed to love. And some of them turn out decently, others...not so much. And now that I'm seeing it all over, I'm becoming less excited and more fearful for these progressions of the stories.
And THEN they start making sequels of movies that did decently in the Box Office...just because they did decently and they want to make an extra buck! Take Pitch Perfect 2...there is no continuation to this story that warrants a sequel. They're just going to turn a capella into the next Bring it On series...which also got over played. IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY PEOPLE?!
This rant started because I saw they were making a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel. and a Now You See Me sequel. And a spin-off from How I Met Your Mother to How I Met Your Father. And Space Jam 2. And a Toy Story 4. 4!!!! And how last night my roommate and I were talking about how Sabrina the Teenage Witch will imminently be remade but there's no way it could be nearly as good. And...EVERYTHING! It's just...not...necessary!
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Nostalgia is a glorious feeling. Searching the past for that one thing that made you feel happy is wonderful! But it feels like they're taking our past and beating it to a pulp. Is this the people from 1970s getting back at us for going on and on and on and ON about how being a kid in the 90s was the best thing ever? Because I really can't think about a better reason...
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THE SEQUELS AND REMAKES.
Seriously, I don't know if I'm just more attuned to them because of how invested I now am in the movie business, but this is getting really old really quickly. Like, this is an exponential equation...and it's escalating very rapidly.
I know sequels have been a thing here and there for books and movies a like. I blame Toy Story 3, personally. I feel by Pixar making that movie, they opened the door to "nostalgia sequels", making it ok to revive characters that we happily gained closure with and moved on with our lives from.
Don't get me wrong. I loved Toy Story 3. I CRIED in Toy Story 3. It was beautiful. I had never felt so touched by an animated movie before. It was magical.
And then Boy Meets World decided to do a continuation tv show Girl Meets World. ANOTHER part of my childhood that I said good-bye to, that I made peace with, and that I was content with how it ended. I hate how excited I am for Girl Meets World but when you have such an emotional attachment to something that brought joy to your childhood it's really really hard to NOT be excited!
But now I'm becoming confused because I'm craving originality, but I'm getting movies that I'm emotionally programmed to love. And some of them turn out decently, others...not so much. And now that I'm seeing it all over, I'm becoming less excited and more fearful for these progressions of the stories.
And THEN they start making sequels of movies that did decently in the Box Office...just because they did decently and they want to make an extra buck! Take Pitch Perfect 2...there is no continuation to this story that warrants a sequel. They're just going to turn a capella into the next Bring it On series...which also got over played. IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY PEOPLE?!
This rant started because I saw they were making a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel. and a Now You See Me sequel. And a spin-off from How I Met Your Mother to How I Met Your Father. And Space Jam 2. And a Toy Story 4. 4!!!! And how last night my roommate and I were talking about how Sabrina the Teenage Witch will imminently be remade but there's no way it could be nearly as good. And...EVERYTHING! It's just...not...necessary!
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Nostalgia is a glorious feeling. Searching the past for that one thing that made you feel happy is wonderful! But it feels like they're taking our past and beating it to a pulp. Is this the people from 1970s getting back at us for going on and on and on and ON about how being a kid in the 90s was the best thing ever? Because I really can't think about a better reason...
Let's Embarrass Emma!
For some reason I feel like this is a good idea..
I wanted to do a post where you could get to know me better, but I feel like whenever I do I just say the same things over and over again. I've recently read the Divergent series and if you choose the Candor faction, their initiation final test is giving you truth serum and making you reveal your most personal information, thinking that if you've revealed it all, including the bad, then you'll see no reason to ever be dishonest.
Now, I consider myself a honest person. With that being said, I'm probably more socially honest than implicitly honest. By that, I mean I know what details to say and hold back, what people want to hear as far as social comments and cues, and when to hold back my true opinion when someone is just fishing for something.
Although now I'm sitting here and that makes me sound like I'm dishonest. Honestly, that's just me stating what everyone does. We all know how to convey that we're listening when we're not, we all know how to encourage someone to continue a story when we don't care, and we all know how to make a friend feel good without telling a blatant lie.
I'm not sure if that's helping my case..
Oh well, in my free spirited moment, I've found some questions that I think would just make good stories, even if they embarrass me, that I just feel like sharing.
1. What is the most embarrassing break up you ever had? When I was in 7th grade my best friend at the time asked out for me the guy I had a crush on. During passing period, he told me he'd go out with me. He went to social studies and I went to math, telling all my friends that he and I were going out. The next passing period, he said he didn't think he could do it, it would mess up our friendship, blah blah blah. That was NOT fun explaining to my friends.
2. When have you been fired from a job? I have only been fired from one job, and it was the job that my roommate's mom got me in a warehouse as a pallet builder. Since it was through a temp agency, I was on a two-week test period. Apparently, I failed the test, because after two weeks I got a call telling me not to come back. I had just sent my roommate's mom a thank you card the day before, too.
3. What celebrity do you have a crush on? I have had a crush on Ashton Kutcher for as long as I can remember. There was a time where I would watch a movie ONLY because he was in it.
4. When you are trying to impress people what personality trait do you hide? I'm actually pretty cocky. While I like to think that I just have awesome self-esteem, I know it comes off as being cocky sometimes. I struggle finding the line between being impressive and bragging too much.
5. What things are you shallow about? I know I'm going to sound extremely shallow when I say these. I'm pretty bad at judging people, and I will judge them if they don't have their life figured out. I'll judge you if you didn't finish college and are still working a crappy job. I'm also really shallow about being superior. Like, I feel those who have caved to substance use like smoking (legal or otherwise) I think I'm better than them because I've legitimately never tried anything or had ANY desire TO try anything. Ah well, some people need to try the forbidden fruit I suppose.
6. What music are you embarrassed about listening to? I don't listen to them so much anymore but I used to really like Nickelback, I've even seen them in concert. I still listen to a lot of teeny-pop where I know it's 80% autotune but it still sounds good...
7. What is your guilty pleasure? Anything with cookie dough in it. And diet coke. And fast food. SO MUCH GUILT.
8. What fears keep you up at night? I haven't had any paralyzing fears that keep me up, but guilt and anxiety have kept me up before, and it was such an interesting experience because when I realized that I couldn't sleep I realized it was because my heart was racing and my mind was in a negative place. I remember this happening the day before my student teaching orientation, because I was convinced they were going to see my name and tell me that I was not eligible for student teaching and make me leave. I had already been accepted into the program so it was not rational for me to think that, but it legitimately kept me up really late that night.
9. When have you lost your dignity? I always feel like I look like an idiot whenever I fall down. Whether I've tripped, slipped, or been pushed, there's a part of me that feels like I look like the stupidest person in the world when I fall. So, whenever it happens, I have a tendency not to move in hopes that people will just go about their lives, but invariably it just draws MORE attention, making me blush like all get out. With that in mind, there was a time in 6th grade where my friends Denise and Kevin were "dating" (the only way 6th graders can) and I was telling Denise how Kevin and I used to date and she went up to him and said "You never told me you and Emma used to date" and he replied with "yeah...in preschool". Which was true (ish...it was kindergarten), but I was not expecting her to ask AND him to reply! I'm not sure if I've turned a deeper shade of red...
10. What talent do you have that is embarrassing to share? It really depends on who I'm sharing with. My roommate and I talk about our facebook stalking escapades but I wouldn't talk about that with my mother.
I wanted to do a post where you could get to know me better, but I feel like whenever I do I just say the same things over and over again. I've recently read the Divergent series and if you choose the Candor faction, their initiation final test is giving you truth serum and making you reveal your most personal information, thinking that if you've revealed it all, including the bad, then you'll see no reason to ever be dishonest.
Now, I consider myself a honest person. With that being said, I'm probably more socially honest than implicitly honest. By that, I mean I know what details to say and hold back, what people want to hear as far as social comments and cues, and when to hold back my true opinion when someone is just fishing for something.
Although now I'm sitting here and that makes me sound like I'm dishonest. Honestly, that's just me stating what everyone does. We all know how to convey that we're listening when we're not, we all know how to encourage someone to continue a story when we don't care, and we all know how to make a friend feel good without telling a blatant lie.
I'm not sure if that's helping my case..
Oh well, in my free spirited moment, I've found some questions that I think would just make good stories, even if they embarrass me, that I just feel like sharing.
1. What is the most embarrassing break up you ever had? When I was in 7th grade my best friend at the time asked out for me the guy I had a crush on. During passing period, he told me he'd go out with me. He went to social studies and I went to math, telling all my friends that he and I were going out. The next passing period, he said he didn't think he could do it, it would mess up our friendship, blah blah blah. That was NOT fun explaining to my friends.
2. When have you been fired from a job? I have only been fired from one job, and it was the job that my roommate's mom got me in a warehouse as a pallet builder. Since it was through a temp agency, I was on a two-week test period. Apparently, I failed the test, because after two weeks I got a call telling me not to come back. I had just sent my roommate's mom a thank you card the day before, too.
3. What celebrity do you have a crush on? I have had a crush on Ashton Kutcher for as long as I can remember. There was a time where I would watch a movie ONLY because he was in it.
4. When you are trying to impress people what personality trait do you hide? I'm actually pretty cocky. While I like to think that I just have awesome self-esteem, I know it comes off as being cocky sometimes. I struggle finding the line between being impressive and bragging too much.
5. What things are you shallow about? I know I'm going to sound extremely shallow when I say these. I'm pretty bad at judging people, and I will judge them if they don't have their life figured out. I'll judge you if you didn't finish college and are still working a crappy job. I'm also really shallow about being superior. Like, I feel those who have caved to substance use like smoking (legal or otherwise) I think I'm better than them because I've legitimately never tried anything or had ANY desire TO try anything. Ah well, some people need to try the forbidden fruit I suppose.
6. What music are you embarrassed about listening to? I don't listen to them so much anymore but I used to really like Nickelback, I've even seen them in concert. I still listen to a lot of teeny-pop where I know it's 80% autotune but it still sounds good...
7. What is your guilty pleasure? Anything with cookie dough in it. And diet coke. And fast food. SO MUCH GUILT.
8. What fears keep you up at night? I haven't had any paralyzing fears that keep me up, but guilt and anxiety have kept me up before, and it was such an interesting experience because when I realized that I couldn't sleep I realized it was because my heart was racing and my mind was in a negative place. I remember this happening the day before my student teaching orientation, because I was convinced they were going to see my name and tell me that I was not eligible for student teaching and make me leave. I had already been accepted into the program so it was not rational for me to think that, but it legitimately kept me up really late that night.
9. When have you lost your dignity? I always feel like I look like an idiot whenever I fall down. Whether I've tripped, slipped, or been pushed, there's a part of me that feels like I look like the stupidest person in the world when I fall. So, whenever it happens, I have a tendency not to move in hopes that people will just go about their lives, but invariably it just draws MORE attention, making me blush like all get out. With that in mind, there was a time in 6th grade where my friends Denise and Kevin were "dating" (the only way 6th graders can) and I was telling Denise how Kevin and I used to date and she went up to him and said "You never told me you and Emma used to date" and he replied with "yeah...in preschool". Which was true (ish...it was kindergarten), but I was not expecting her to ask AND him to reply! I'm not sure if I've turned a deeper shade of red...
10. What talent do you have that is embarrassing to share? It really depends on who I'm sharing with. My roommate and I talk about our facebook stalking escapades but I wouldn't talk about that with my mother.
Friday, April 11, 2014
I really just have to describe...
...how awesome last nights Indianapolis Indians game was.
We had been tied with the Toledo Mudhens for three innings now. It's bottom of the ninth, both teams with three points. There had been a light rain/sprinkle for the last inning or so, and you could see people getting up and leaving, not waiting to be stuck in the rain in overtime. We had a runner on 2nd and only one out. Once the batter hit the ball and you tracked it, you knew it went exactly where it needed to go. Runner on 2nd made it to home, the crowd goes wild, and the skies open up to a full out rain. I was cheering so loud I swore I was going to lose my voice. We won. WE WON! It wasn't even the surprise that we won but rather the way it all ended. It was beautiful. It was magical. It was the perfect home opener
God I love baseball :D
We had been tied with the Toledo Mudhens for three innings now. It's bottom of the ninth, both teams with three points. There had been a light rain/sprinkle for the last inning or so, and you could see people getting up and leaving, not waiting to be stuck in the rain in overtime. We had a runner on 2nd and only one out. Once the batter hit the ball and you tracked it, you knew it went exactly where it needed to go. Runner on 2nd made it to home, the crowd goes wild, and the skies open up to a full out rain. I was cheering so loud I swore I was going to lose my voice. We won. WE WON! It wasn't even the surprise that we won but rather the way it all ended. It was beautiful. It was magical. It was the perfect home opener
God I love baseball :D
National Sibling Day!
So according to Facebook, April 10th is National Sibling Day. For my siblings' sakes, I hope this doesn't catch on like Mother's and Father's day, because that will be the fourth holiday they have to celebrate in April. Poor guys :P
I thought I would do a small tribute to my siblings. I could have posted kooky pictures of them all on Facebook, but this is much more meaningful.
First there's my older brother, Tony. The story goes that he basically ignored my existence until I started to walk. Thanks bro :P He's always tried to protect me in his own way. Whether we're playing video games and I'm player 2 to his player 1, or he's telling me not to go into the flooded basement because he heard the sizzle of one of the power strips, or he's saying "don't do anything I wouldn't do" when I leave to go out with my friends. Despite everything we've been through, he's always good for a laugh, a smile, a joke, and a big brother.
Then, there's my younger sister, Rachel. I want to save her for last because she's seriously "la pièce de résistance" in my eyes. She has the quickest wit I've ever seen, and does this thing where if you say she's funny she looks at you and goes "excuse me...I'm hilarious". She knows exactly what will make me laugh and smile, ESPECIALLY when I am trying my hardest not to do such. I know it's super corny but she is my best friend. If I had to pick one person in the entire world I would pick her time and time again. There are some things that we will never ever see eye to eye on, and others where we don't even have to say anything to know we're thinking the same thing. It's a wonderful experience to have a sister like her.
They're my two blood siblings and I love them dearly. However, there's been one other person in my life that's as much a sibling as a friend.
I've known Ashley since I was a freshman in high school. I'm sure I've told this story before, but I was playing piano in the choir room and she, a senior in the advanced show choir, came in and heard me playing. She then proceeded to put a few coins down on the piano to "tip" me to keep playing. Basically from that point on she decided that I was going to be her little sister. I visited her in college, I told her EVERYTHING that was going on in my life, and to this day there are still some of her words of wisdom that I hold true. She would bail me out of the house when I was an angsty teenager and help me through what I thought were my hardest of times.
All three of these people hold a huge part of my heart and are giant impacts on my life. I can't imagine life without any of them.
I thought I would do a small tribute to my siblings. I could have posted kooky pictures of them all on Facebook, but this is much more meaningful.
First there's my older brother, Tony. The story goes that he basically ignored my existence until I started to walk. Thanks bro :P He's always tried to protect me in his own way. Whether we're playing video games and I'm player 2 to his player 1, or he's telling me not to go into the flooded basement because he heard the sizzle of one of the power strips, or he's saying "don't do anything I wouldn't do" when I leave to go out with my friends. Despite everything we've been through, he's always good for a laugh, a smile, a joke, and a big brother.
Then, there's my younger sister, Rachel. I want to save her for last because she's seriously "la pièce de résistance" in my eyes. She has the quickest wit I've ever seen, and does this thing where if you say she's funny she looks at you and goes "excuse me...I'm hilarious". She knows exactly what will make me laugh and smile, ESPECIALLY when I am trying my hardest not to do such. I know it's super corny but she is my best friend. If I had to pick one person in the entire world I would pick her time and time again. There are some things that we will never ever see eye to eye on, and others where we don't even have to say anything to know we're thinking the same thing. It's a wonderful experience to have a sister like her.
They're my two blood siblings and I love them dearly. However, there's been one other person in my life that's as much a sibling as a friend.
I've known Ashley since I was a freshman in high school. I'm sure I've told this story before, but I was playing piano in the choir room and she, a senior in the advanced show choir, came in and heard me playing. She then proceeded to put a few coins down on the piano to "tip" me to keep playing. Basically from that point on she decided that I was going to be her little sister. I visited her in college, I told her EVERYTHING that was going on in my life, and to this day there are still some of her words of wisdom that I hold true. She would bail me out of the house when I was an angsty teenager and help me through what I thought were my hardest of times.
All three of these people hold a huge part of my heart and are giant impacts on my life. I can't imagine life without any of them.
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