"While I think she may be guilty, our judicial system is based on whether we know someone is guilty; not whether we think someone is guilty."
Couldn't say it better myself =)
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
My Favorite Kind of Bluntness =)
Ok, I am sick and tired of your DRAMA. Newsflash? A guy will say ANYTHING to get you in bed, including "will you marry me". Saying "I was unofficially engaged" or "he had proposed and everything" Doesn't mean ANYTHING. Considering that you *bought* this and you *did* sleep with him, and *now* you're broken up, just means that you're ignorant and naive...and now alone. Grab some chips and salsa along with Ben & Jerry's and your favorite tear jerking movie, because you've been dumped and now you have to get over it.
If you were really "unofficially engaged", then you would have a promise ring PROMISING a future. If he really "proposed and everything", then you would have an engagement ring for the ENGAGEMENT of your future. If he really liked you, he would have given you a ring. Actions speak louder than words, sweetie, and his words mean NOTHING.
What? I don't know what it's like? Wrong again. Because MY boyfriend did ask me to marry him...in three years after we graduate. AND he gave me a PROMISE RING. And I gave him a PROMISE RING. We have made the commitment to each other in something more than words...see how that works? And guess what? We're not even sleeping together. Because he RESPECTS me and MY wishes and understands that me saying I'll marry him does not mean I'll sleep with him now, it means I'll sleep with him once we're married.
Any questions?
If you were really "unofficially engaged", then you would have a promise ring PROMISING a future. If he really "proposed and everything", then you would have an engagement ring for the ENGAGEMENT of your future. If he really liked you, he would have given you a ring. Actions speak louder than words, sweetie, and his words mean NOTHING.
What? I don't know what it's like? Wrong again. Because MY boyfriend did ask me to marry him...in three years after we graduate. AND he gave me a PROMISE RING. And I gave him a PROMISE RING. We have made the commitment to each other in something more than words...see how that works? And guess what? We're not even sleeping together. Because he RESPECTS me and MY wishes and understands that me saying I'll marry him does not mean I'll sleep with him now, it means I'll sleep with him once we're married.
Any questions?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Are You Curious at ALL?
Do you even want to know what I've been doing these past two months where I haven't been blogging?
Working: I have been working A LOT. When I came home from school I was a substitute teacher as well as working at the movie theater. Then when the school year got out, I started working at a warehouse 40 hours a week and THEN working at the movie theater nights and weekends. That only lasted for two and a half weeks but it still helped me save $1300 in less than 8 weeks. Now I'm just working at the movie theater but I'm still getting in between 20 and 30 hours a week so it's still a lot of work and a lot of $$$!!
Editing: My leadership positions have me working with a lot of governing documents and making sure they are as up-to-date, comprehensive, and efficient as possible. I've already completed two and will start on my third and fourth within the next week.
Leading: Going along with my editing, my leadership has really not taken any breaks since school let out. That, plus I'm up for a promotion at the movie theater, has kept me busy during the day. I'm constantly sending e-mails, scheduling meetings, working on budgets, and corresponding with the right people in order to prepare for the school year and start out on the right foot!
Researching: Because of my newfound love for middle school, I have been having doubts of sticking with French Education just because it seems so impractical at the middle school range. I have been looking into English Education so I can do that as well as ESL and then still have a French minor and maybe teach a class after school or host a club. However, that would make me stay for an extra semester and I really don't want to do that. But then again, because of all the governing document work I've been doing, it makes me want to go into Poli-Sci (which I could do in two years with summer school) and draft legislation for the rest of my life. The only reason I'm not switching at the drop of a hat is because I feel so invested in the education program and I don't want these past two years to have been a waste for nothing.
Relaxing: It's amazing to have time on your hands! This past week even though I worked 22 hours they are mostly at night (6-midnightish) so my days have been fairly open. It's been nice to be able to sleep in, lounge around the house and on the computer...it definitely helps my stress levels from getting too high.
Cooking: When I do have days to myself, I usually find myself creating things in the kitchen. I've always wanted to get better at baking so I've been trying new recipes as well as making must lunches for myself and my siblings. It's definitely my domain. =)
Loving: Zack and I are getting ready to go on 5 months of dating and it's the best thing in the world. We have literally talked every night since we've been apart and he's getting ready to visit for the second time this summer. I am so thankful that each visit has been for a long weekend instead of just two days. It makes it more bearable to be without him for numerous weeks at a time.
In fact, he will be here in 7 hours...which is why I'm blogging...in hopes of making the time go faster...
...and because I don't want to fail at blogging. But all these other action verbs listed above are why I'm not as well! Not to mention that on a day by day basis I feel like I don't do anything noteworthy of blogging so then all this time goes by and I have SQUAT!
Oh well...now you know =)
Working: I have been working A LOT. When I came home from school I was a substitute teacher as well as working at the movie theater. Then when the school year got out, I started working at a warehouse 40 hours a week and THEN working at the movie theater nights and weekends. That only lasted for two and a half weeks but it still helped me save $1300 in less than 8 weeks. Now I'm just working at the movie theater but I'm still getting in between 20 and 30 hours a week so it's still a lot of work and a lot of $$$!!
Editing: My leadership positions have me working with a lot of governing documents and making sure they are as up-to-date, comprehensive, and efficient as possible. I've already completed two and will start on my third and fourth within the next week.
Leading: Going along with my editing, my leadership has really not taken any breaks since school let out. That, plus I'm up for a promotion at the movie theater, has kept me busy during the day. I'm constantly sending e-mails, scheduling meetings, working on budgets, and corresponding with the right people in order to prepare for the school year and start out on the right foot!
Researching: Because of my newfound love for middle school, I have been having doubts of sticking with French Education just because it seems so impractical at the middle school range. I have been looking into English Education so I can do that as well as ESL and then still have a French minor and maybe teach a class after school or host a club. However, that would make me stay for an extra semester and I really don't want to do that. But then again, because of all the governing document work I've been doing, it makes me want to go into Poli-Sci (which I could do in two years with summer school) and draft legislation for the rest of my life. The only reason I'm not switching at the drop of a hat is because I feel so invested in the education program and I don't want these past two years to have been a waste for nothing.
Relaxing: It's amazing to have time on your hands! This past week even though I worked 22 hours they are mostly at night (6-midnightish) so my days have been fairly open. It's been nice to be able to sleep in, lounge around the house and on the computer...it definitely helps my stress levels from getting too high.
Cooking: When I do have days to myself, I usually find myself creating things in the kitchen. I've always wanted to get better at baking so I've been trying new recipes as well as making must lunches for myself and my siblings. It's definitely my domain. =)
Loving: Zack and I are getting ready to go on 5 months of dating and it's the best thing in the world. We have literally talked every night since we've been apart and he's getting ready to visit for the second time this summer. I am so thankful that each visit has been for a long weekend instead of just two days. It makes it more bearable to be without him for numerous weeks at a time.
In fact, he will be here in 7 hours...which is why I'm blogging...in hopes of making the time go faster...
...and because I don't want to fail at blogging. But all these other action verbs listed above are why I'm not as well! Not to mention that on a day by day basis I feel like I don't do anything noteworthy of blogging so then all this time goes by and I have SQUAT!
Oh well...now you know =)
If You Were Wondering
Yes, I did post this today, specifically today, because I wanted to have at least one post in the month of June.
Don't judge me =P
Don't judge me =P
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Newfound Happiness
I’m sitting here and typing this in a classroom. Not because I’m in class, because I AM the class. I’m the teacher, well, substitute teacher at least. This has been my profession and job of choice for the past two weeks, and I feel like I’ve found my calling.
No, I don’t mean substitute teaching being my calling, I don’t want to substitute for the rest of my life…although I have now convinced myself that I do indeed want to teach for the rest of my life. I want to teach middle school.
Wait…I want to teach middle school? Seriously? Am I sick or something? They say no one wants to teach middle school…why would I?
Well, when I was in middle school and knew I wanted to be a teacher I said I wanted to teach middle school English…but when I was in elementary school I said I wanted to teach elementary school, and when I was in high school I said I wanted to teach high school. And in college I did think that I could just continue my education and teach at the university level. So why have I regressed or changed or just decided to teach middle school now?
It really has to do with my experience as a substitute teacher now. I’ve been a sub at both the high school and the middle school, and my experiences at the two schools, though in the same corporation, could never be more different.
At the high school, I felt like I was wearing a sign that said “substitute teacher”. I didn’t feel accepted by anyone, not even the administration that hired me. Maybe the classes I’ve subbed for at the high school has something to do with it—my first two exposures were for teachers I never had who taught classes I never took. I didn’t take these classes because I wasn’t interested in them and didn’t need them, so why should I take them?
But even now looking back and comparing my experience with the two schools: At the high school I had no structure. I was given a lesson plan and was told to follow it. There were no disciplinary rules written or place for me to take attendance or anywhere to write anything about the classes. I had a class where writing an actual write up instead of just putting it on a sticky note would have been much more effective in getting my point across. Then I was hired as an aide who went to class with a hearing impaired student for half of the day and then was not assigned anything for the rest so they made something up for me…that was almost my last straw—I didn’t want to go in and sub for that school again.
And I haven’t, but that’s not necessarily been my choice. The past six days I’ve subbed have been at the middle school, and I’ve loved every minute of it. And again, I will give the classes that I’m in credit because that very well could be a reason why it’s been such a positive experience. My first three days were for my previous 8th grade English teacher, then a day for my previous 8th grade science teacher, then for a music teacher, then for my previous 7th grade Social Studies teacher, and tomorrow I will be subbing for my previous middle school choir teacher. I’ve personally known each teacher here I’ve subbed for, as well as the subject area, and I know that could be a reason for my vast enjoyment.
But administratively the middle school is more organized and better suited for me being a substitute. The attendance secretary is always really nice and makes sure I know the lesson plans and where the classroom is. I personally know both the principal and vice principal. Each day I get a sheet where I can record the activities of each period as well as take attendance. There are places for me to take notes about each class so I feel that if I have anything I need to say I am able to say it. Not to mention each class I’m in I always have at least one teacher come in and make sure that I’m doing alright as a sub and make sure that I know if I need anything I can go to them.
The fun thing is really when they recognize who I am and that I was in middle school only six years ago. Then all of a sudden they’re asking me where I go to college at and what I’m studying and when I say I’m an education major it’s like we have an inside joke or something.
Teaching at the middle school has been such a great experience, and I feel it was meant to be—I was meant to teach middle school. I love this decision.
No, I don’t mean substitute teaching being my calling, I don’t want to substitute for the rest of my life…although I have now convinced myself that I do indeed want to teach for the rest of my life. I want to teach middle school.
Wait…I want to teach middle school? Seriously? Am I sick or something? They say no one wants to teach middle school…why would I?
Well, when I was in middle school and knew I wanted to be a teacher I said I wanted to teach middle school English…but when I was in elementary school I said I wanted to teach elementary school, and when I was in high school I said I wanted to teach high school. And in college I did think that I could just continue my education and teach at the university level. So why have I regressed or changed or just decided to teach middle school now?
It really has to do with my experience as a substitute teacher now. I’ve been a sub at both the high school and the middle school, and my experiences at the two schools, though in the same corporation, could never be more different.
At the high school, I felt like I was wearing a sign that said “substitute teacher”. I didn’t feel accepted by anyone, not even the administration that hired me. Maybe the classes I’ve subbed for at the high school has something to do with it—my first two exposures were for teachers I never had who taught classes I never took. I didn’t take these classes because I wasn’t interested in them and didn’t need them, so why should I take them?
But even now looking back and comparing my experience with the two schools: At the high school I had no structure. I was given a lesson plan and was told to follow it. There were no disciplinary rules written or place for me to take attendance or anywhere to write anything about the classes. I had a class where writing an actual write up instead of just putting it on a sticky note would have been much more effective in getting my point across. Then I was hired as an aide who went to class with a hearing impaired student for half of the day and then was not assigned anything for the rest so they made something up for me…that was almost my last straw—I didn’t want to go in and sub for that school again.
And I haven’t, but that’s not necessarily been my choice. The past six days I’ve subbed have been at the middle school, and I’ve loved every minute of it. And again, I will give the classes that I’m in credit because that very well could be a reason why it’s been such a positive experience. My first three days were for my previous 8th grade English teacher, then a day for my previous 8th grade science teacher, then for a music teacher, then for my previous 7th grade Social Studies teacher, and tomorrow I will be subbing for my previous middle school choir teacher. I’ve personally known each teacher here I’ve subbed for, as well as the subject area, and I know that could be a reason for my vast enjoyment.
But administratively the middle school is more organized and better suited for me being a substitute. The attendance secretary is always really nice and makes sure I know the lesson plans and where the classroom is. I personally know both the principal and vice principal. Each day I get a sheet where I can record the activities of each period as well as take attendance. There are places for me to take notes about each class so I feel that if I have anything I need to say I am able to say it. Not to mention each class I’m in I always have at least one teacher come in and make sure that I’m doing alright as a sub and make sure that I know if I need anything I can go to them.
The fun thing is really when they recognize who I am and that I was in middle school only six years ago. Then all of a sudden they’re asking me where I go to college at and what I’m studying and when I say I’m an education major it’s like we have an inside joke or something.
Teaching at the middle school has been such a great experience, and I feel it was meant to be—I was meant to teach middle school. I love this decision.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I am Switzerland
Which is ironic because when I was subbing today I showed my students the Sound of Music...
Today I'm going to talk about ME. I feel like I give myself to my friends and especially to my family. I feel like I've been able to be there for every family member in the capacity they've needed me, which makes me feel like I'm doing my role as a member of this family extremely well.
Except I can't do it anymore.
Not now at least. Because one thing that I've realized today is that I love each family member the same amount. I might have different kinds of love for them but the amount of love I have in my heart for each member is the same. I do not have a favorite family member nor do I have a least favorite. I always said that if my parents got divorced I'd try and live with grandparents or a friend because I didn't want to have to chose between the two because to me that was just choosing my favorite parent and I didn't have one. I still don't. Just like I don't have a favorite sibling and just like I don't favor my sibling over my parent or vice versa.
Now this is hard to imagine because siblings always seem to stick together when it comes to situations where a parent is mad at a sibling. This brings me back to a different kind of love. I love my mother in a different yet equal way that I love my sister.
I suppose I'm lucky that I'm able to experience being close with a mother, a father, a sister, and a brother all equally. Instead of having a mother, step-mother, and father along with two sisters and three brothers. That's where I feel it would get more tricky because there's different exposure which would create different relationships and could possibly affect the love given or received. But since I only have one of each, I still hold true that I am able to love each member equally.
I feel I'm able to see objectively in this family. I am the middle child who has constantly been an ear to every member of my family. I most always listen to what everyone has to say no matter what or who it's about. I've been able to remain--for the most part--objective and neutral, being the perfect recipient of all this venting.
Except I can't do it anymore.
Seeing how much I'm trying to be there for all of my family members has shown me the wear and tear it's been putting on ME. I hear a family member say something rude and uncalled for about another family member and I feel frozen because if I don't say anything it looks like I'm agreeing but if I say something that ruins the point of venting. Challenging someone's opinion when they're in one of the highest states of individuality and righteousness is dangerous territory that I try not to tread. But hearing the things I've heard about each and every one of my family members by different family members is terrible. It's not healthy to say those things in jest or seriousness. I certainly hope that they are said for the pure purpose of venting, not out of true conviction that those things are believed to be true.
I had a stressful day with work and dealing with family matters. Things were said about every family member and I felt each time something was said it wore down on me more and more. All I wanted to do was talk back and prove that family member wrong--but I've sat through this enough times that it wouldn't get anywhere...so I never said anything throughout the day.
Well about a half hour ago something extremely uncalled for between two family members occurred and once again I had both talking to me poorly about the other. Feeling like shit, I go to one and say I don't want to hear these things about the other. I was not heard at all. I was told that what was said to me was fact, and if it's fact then it can always be told to me, whether I want to hear it or not.
That pissed me off. There's really no other way to put it. Because it's not fact--it's 100% subjective opinion. There are many different ways that I could prove it to be false, but again I didn't for fear of starting something I knew wouldn't end. I excused myself and proceeded to cry. That's when I realized the whole tole that has been put on me. Because I know what's coming. I feel like things will be said that can never be taken back and I feel that history could be repeating itself.
But I also feel that it is not my place to be a mediator, a side-taker, or most importantly, an ear. I no longer want to hear what any family member has to say about another unless it is POSITIVE. Negativity gets everyone NOWHERE, so I am not going to be a part of it. If a family member starts to say something I will either say absolutely nothing or say for them to not continue talking (depends on the situation and how gutsy I'm feeling against certain family members).
I refuse to take sides. I refuse to say any of my opinions about the matter. This is between them and them alone. I am Switzerland.
I am Switzerland.
Today I'm going to talk about ME. I feel like I give myself to my friends and especially to my family. I feel like I've been able to be there for every family member in the capacity they've needed me, which makes me feel like I'm doing my role as a member of this family extremely well.
Except I can't do it anymore.
Not now at least. Because one thing that I've realized today is that I love each family member the same amount. I might have different kinds of love for them but the amount of love I have in my heart for each member is the same. I do not have a favorite family member nor do I have a least favorite. I always said that if my parents got divorced I'd try and live with grandparents or a friend because I didn't want to have to chose between the two because to me that was just choosing my favorite parent and I didn't have one. I still don't. Just like I don't have a favorite sibling and just like I don't favor my sibling over my parent or vice versa.
Now this is hard to imagine because siblings always seem to stick together when it comes to situations where a parent is mad at a sibling. This brings me back to a different kind of love. I love my mother in a different yet equal way that I love my sister.
I suppose I'm lucky that I'm able to experience being close with a mother, a father, a sister, and a brother all equally. Instead of having a mother, step-mother, and father along with two sisters and three brothers. That's where I feel it would get more tricky because there's different exposure which would create different relationships and could possibly affect the love given or received. But since I only have one of each, I still hold true that I am able to love each member equally.
I feel I'm able to see objectively in this family. I am the middle child who has constantly been an ear to every member of my family. I most always listen to what everyone has to say no matter what or who it's about. I've been able to remain--for the most part--objective and neutral, being the perfect recipient of all this venting.
Except I can't do it anymore.
Seeing how much I'm trying to be there for all of my family members has shown me the wear and tear it's been putting on ME. I hear a family member say something rude and uncalled for about another family member and I feel frozen because if I don't say anything it looks like I'm agreeing but if I say something that ruins the point of venting. Challenging someone's opinion when they're in one of the highest states of individuality and righteousness is dangerous territory that I try not to tread. But hearing the things I've heard about each and every one of my family members by different family members is terrible. It's not healthy to say those things in jest or seriousness. I certainly hope that they are said for the pure purpose of venting, not out of true conviction that those things are believed to be true.
I had a stressful day with work and dealing with family matters. Things were said about every family member and I felt each time something was said it wore down on me more and more. All I wanted to do was talk back and prove that family member wrong--but I've sat through this enough times that it wouldn't get anywhere...so I never said anything throughout the day.
Well about a half hour ago something extremely uncalled for between two family members occurred and once again I had both talking to me poorly about the other. Feeling like shit, I go to one and say I don't want to hear these things about the other. I was not heard at all. I was told that what was said to me was fact, and if it's fact then it can always be told to me, whether I want to hear it or not.
That pissed me off. There's really no other way to put it. Because it's not fact--it's 100% subjective opinion. There are many different ways that I could prove it to be false, but again I didn't for fear of starting something I knew wouldn't end. I excused myself and proceeded to cry. That's when I realized the whole tole that has been put on me. Because I know what's coming. I feel like things will be said that can never be taken back and I feel that history could be repeating itself.
But I also feel that it is not my place to be a mediator, a side-taker, or most importantly, an ear. I no longer want to hear what any family member has to say about another unless it is POSITIVE. Negativity gets everyone NOWHERE, so I am not going to be a part of it. If a family member starts to say something I will either say absolutely nothing or say for them to not continue talking (depends on the situation and how gutsy I'm feeling against certain family members).
I refuse to take sides. I refuse to say any of my opinions about the matter. This is between them and them alone. I am Switzerland.
I am Switzerland.
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