Did You Know

That I can usually tell when someone has a true problem, and when someone just needs to vent frustrations directed towards me. Recently I've been doing a good job at developing this because I've noticed it happening more and more often. I don't let it affect me because once the venting is over it's as if nothing happened, and if it's not being held against me then I don't see the need to hold it against the other. Unfortunately, my passiveness has been mistaken for being a coward as well as obstinate. These claims are getting to me and making me want to defend more than just listen. This is now becoming a problem because it's causing me anxiety and I actually just caught myself pre-anxiety attack because of a venting session. Which is why I started blogging again. I had earlier been told that I spend too much time worrying about my virtual (and maybe pretend) audience and should be focusing on other aspects in my life. However my month of nonblogging has shown me how much I need blogging in my life. Keeping everything bottled up is having negative effects on my life, and I can see that. Even if I'm only putting things up here instead of confronting it head on. Just getting this information out SOMEWHERE helps. As I type this (and the previous two blogs) I can feel myself letting go of the pained emotions I was having. I'm nonconfrontational. I feel no need or desire to go up to an individual and actually the thought of confronting someone creates almost as much anxiety as bottling everything up. Blogging is a happy medium where I don't have to worry about the implications of my words. I'm not doing this to hurt anyone. I'm not doing this to rebel against anyone. This is purely me conveying my emotions so that I don't stress out and I don't harm anyone else. This is my form of venting, but I'm not causing my computer to have a panic attack. And truly I don't care what anyone things, if they think this is petty or useless or immature or irresponsible or me acting like a child instead of an adult. THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU. THIS IS ABOUT ME. DEAL WITH IT.

...passive aggressive much? Just the way I like it.

I'm back, baby :)