Sometimes I don't Appreciate the Choices in My Life

If you know me, you know that I can't save money to save my life. I mean, if I had to save money in order to live, I'd live a short life. I'm totally a shopaholic who wants to spend her money whenever it comes into her possession, and it's been driving me crazy all year.

You see, I'm on this path here at Ball State University. This path is a four year college education in order to become a secondary French teacher with a license to teach ESL k-12. And on this journey, my final year is supposed to consist of me being in France for a semester to give my language that extra flourish, and then student teaching with my new ornamented language.

Well you see, there have been some snafus in this plan. The first being that I tested into the 300 level of French. Now, I know what you're thinking, this shouldn't be a problem! Except for the fact that this school does not have a very big French program, so they only offer certain classes every couple of years. I am short two required classes and two elective classes from getting my French degree, and only one elective class is being offered that I can take in the next three semesters.

Well that's where France comes in. I can take both the required classes and the elective classes in France, finish my degree, and become great at the language right before student teaching. AWESOME!

Except that's where the second and third snafu come into play. The second being that I can't really afford to go to France for a semester because I absolutely fail at saving money. I'm supposed to be able to afford a plane ticket and whatever my personal expenses entail and thinking that I'll be gone for 16 weeks and looking at how much money I've *spent* in the past 16 weeks...let's just say I definitely do not have enough money in my account.

The third snafu is that through this journey I have been getting to know myself better and all of the sudden my want to be a French teacher seems like a joke. I wanted to be a French teacher because I hated one of my French teachers and wanted to prove to her that even though she said I would fail at French that I succeeded. Good News! I succeeded in French! My GPA major is above a 3.5! Bad News...now I want to be done with it. Before my senior year of high school I had wanted to be an English teacher for a good 5 years. Then in the course of a summer I changed my mind to French. Now, looking at where my true passions lie...it's not with French.

So I had this breakthrough a month or two back, talked to a couple of my professors, and decided that I was smart enough to "cheat" the system. Basically, I'd graduate with the French Education degree but get certified to teach English language arts, which is what I really feel I want to do. That way I still graduate in four years, get a couple of degrees and teaching licenses, and become marketable enough to survive in this job market.

Which brings us to the title of this blog: Sometimes I don't appreciate the choices in my life. If we circle back to some background information previously stated, the only way I can get a French degree is go to France, but because I don't want to teach French I don't want to go to France, not to mention I can't afford it. But I can't get this degree without going to France. So, the choices are as followed:

1) Suck it up, go to France, find a way to make it work, and stay on track.
2) Don't go to France, change my major to English Education, take classes I don't see the point in, and graduate with the degree I want.
3) Don't graduate from Ball State University.

I have considered at least once a year transferring to Indiana University: Bloomington. Now only are my two best friends there, but their teacher's program is comparable in reputation to Ball State's. My main reason for the transfer would be to finish the degree track I'm currently on without having to go to France. IUB offers enough variety of classes that I should be able to take those on campus and then still student teach Spring 2013.

But then not only am I cheating the system in getting the degree I want, I'm cheating the schools by only taking courses I want and when I can't anymore, leaving.

I just wish it was as simple as it was three years ago when there was only one path and it was the one everyone was ok with, especially me.