That's what I've been living for pretty much this entire week. Take everything one day at a time, and don't look too far into the future or too far into the past. Live in the moment and seize the day.
It's hard. I'm used to holding grudges and I'm used to planning as far as possible in advance. Thinking only about the now AND being content with that is a very hard task to undergo.
The boyfriend is helping with that. It's extremely easy to think only about the now when the now is with him...be it in class, or just walking, or hanging out, or being all couple-y...yeahhhhhh =)
This week has been an adventure of closing doors and opening new ones. Sometimes behind those new doors there has been a bottomless pit...but in others I have found the path that I should be on. Although I did not obtain the NRHH presidency, I will be returning to campus early next year to be the Accelerate Program Student Coordinator. This is a position that I was approached about (one of my advisors thought I'd be good for it) and then after discussing what all it would entail, I received it. It's a great feeling knowing that I will be impacting new leader minds next year =)
I am currently going for three off-campus positions. One is with the Indiana Residence Hall Organization (IRHO) for the Assistant Director of Administration, and the other two are with the Great Lake Affiliate College and University Residence Halls (GLACURH) for the Parliamentarian or Indiana Regional Communication Coordinator (RCC) positions. Even though these wouldn't go into effect until next year, it is a big part of my life now because I am going through applications and the entire appointment process.
Therefore, I justify my future thinking.
The future thinking I am trying not to justify is about my friends, my career, my relationship, and just all of the "what if" statements that could possibly happen. By the same token, I'm trying to stray away from the "what if I had" statements from my past. Even though they fill my life with thoughts and sheer wonder, it can lead to senarios that I don't want to consider, and that's not healthy.
I'm looking for a "no doubts no regrets" type of living here. Hopefully that will help me with everything that is going on in my life right now. I'm getting ready to go home tomorrow morning so I can see my sister in her last year of show choir perform at the state competition. I get to see both my immediate and extended family, and they get to see me, some college friends, and they get to meet the boyfriend as well. It's going to be a great day--I'm completely enthused.
Today...everything is going great. I love how I feel, what has occurred, and just the security I feel I've been given with who I am, the choices I've made, and how they affect my life. I am Me, and I am accepted for that. It's a great feeling to realize and I hope it stays as long as possible.
~~~
"There's only now, there's only here. Give into love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today"
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